The True Happiness I Realized After My Eldest Daughter's Injury
An unexpected accident on a day off
Last Sunday, my eldest daughter got injured while playing at the park.
I was sitting on a bench a little way from the playground equipment,
and since she is in the fourth grade, I let my guard down, thinking she could play freely on her own.
Then, my daughter came running toward me in desperation with a pained expression.
When I asked in a panic, "What happened!?"
she said, "I fell from the monkey bars. I can't breathe. My wrists and lower back hurt."
I thought, "Wait... you can't breathe...?"
My mind went completely blank.
"What should I do... what am I supposed to do? Should I call an ambulance? It's Sunday, so the hospitals are closed. Should I go to an emergency hospital??"
I was in a state of panic due to the sudden turn of events.
Saved by the presence of family
I hurriedly called my husband, who was working on his day off.
I explained my daughter's condition, but his workplace was far from the park, and he couldn't come right away.
"For now, please contact my parents," he said,
so I decided to head home.
It takes about 20 minutes by car from the park to our house.
"What should I do, what should I do..."
I was driving with a restless heart.
My husband's parents, who live near our house, rushed over immediately,
and they watched over my daughter with me.
By then, her breathing had calmed down a little, and we decided to visit an orthopedic surgeon the next day.
I was so glad that my parents-in-law were nearby at that time.
If I had been alone, I wouldn't have known what to do.
The diagnosis was fractures in both wrists
The examination the next day revealed that she had fractures in both wrists.
Her right hand was fixed with a cast up to near her elbow.
She had a support brace on her left hand.
From that day on, my life of caring for my eldest daughter began.
Cannot use chopsticks for meals
Cannot write as well as she wants
Cannot change clothes by herself
Cannot take a bath by herself
Cannot dry her hair
Cannot brush her teeth
Cannot carry heavy things
Cannot hold onto the handrail on stairs
Cannot tie her hair
I was surprised at how much life changes just by not being able to use your wrists.
In addition to caring for my four-year-old second daughter, I also needed to support my eldest daughter,
and it felt like my childcare duties had increased by 1.5 times (crying).
The days I took for granted are no longer taken for granted.
At ten years old, she is at an age where she can do almost everything for herself.
In the morning, she toasts her own bread and eats yogurt and fruit.
She prepares her water bottle, ties her hair, and finishes getting dressed and washing her face.
She also helps by putting away dishes from the dishwasher.
Around 7:30, she cheerfully says, "I'm off!" and heads to school.
After school, she plays with friends at the park, then goes to Kumon or swimming.
Recently, she also started basketball and has been happily going every week.
When she gets home, she plays games or watches YouTube. After dinner, she takes a bath, brushes her teeth, and goes to bed.
That daily routine changed in an instant.
In the morning, I help her get dressed and tie her hair. I prepare breakfast, and my husband drives her to school.
At school, she naturally has to sit out of P.E. She can't even go into the pool, which she always looked forward to.
Since she can't write in her notebook, she types on her Chromebook,
and for school lunch, she brings her own spoon and fork because she can't use chopsticks.
Even in the restroom, it takes time for her to pull her pants up and down.
After school, she can't play at the park, and she has to take a break from Kumon, basketball, and swimming.
At home, my husband joins her in the bath to wash her body and hair.
After the bath, I help her get dressed, dry her hair, and brush her teeth.
It has affected every aspect of our lives more than I had imagined.
"I'm glad I'm not working"
I truly felt, "I'm glad I'm not working right now."
In the past, when I came home from work, I was barely able to manage just making dinner.
On top of that, I had to take care of my second daughter.
If I had continued working, I don't think I would have had the capacity to handle this life.
I would have reached my physical and mental limits, and perhaps I might have ended up feeling frustrated with my eldest daughter.
But it's different now.
Because I am not working, I can help my eldest daughter with the things she struggles with one by one,
and I can be there for her when she feels anxious.
Maybe that's just what a mother does.
Even so, the old me couldn't do that "obvious" thing.
Gradually recovering
A week has passed since the day of the injury, and my eldest daughter is recovering little by little.
She can now write her Kumon homework, and although taking off her clothes is still difficult, she has become able to put them on.
And what was surprising was,
"I'm happy that Mom and Dad can join me in the bath and wash me,"
is what my eldest daughter said.
"What on earth? (laughs)"
I didn't say it out loud, but I thought, 'This is actually quite a lot of work for us!' and couldn't help but laugh.
But hearing those words,
"Maybe I've been making her feel lonely,"
"Maybe she's been wanting more time to spend slowly with her parents,"
I also thought.
Because usually, I inevitably end up spending so much time taking care of my second daughter.
Even so, the one who is suffering the most is surely my eldest daughter herself.
She is giving up the exercise she loves, playing at the park, and her lessons.
Seeing her like that, the wish that "I want her to get well soon" grows stronger every day.
The true happiness I felt as a mother
Through this experience, there is something I thought about once again.
Before I took a leave of absence, my life revolved around work.
I used up all my energy at work every day and had no room to listen to my children properly.
Family is more important than work
Even though I understood that obvious fact in my head, I don't think I truly understood it in the real sense.
Looking back, perhaps the hardest part was
not being able to face my children properly as a mother.
Being able to help when my child is in trouble.
Being able to stay close and support them when they are anxious.
I realized that this is what happiness means to me.
I sincerely hope that my eldest daughter will get well as soon as possible and be able to run around to her heart's content again.
And for now, I want to cherish the time when she reaches out to me and asks for help right in front of my eyes.