HSP Summer Vacation Survival and Watermelon Juice

Children's summer vacation

It is a survival life, as if the extraordinary has been thrown into the ordinary.

Homework
A regular routine
A fulfilling day

Such ideals are merely illusions for me,
as I am already at capacity with just my daily life.

Honestly, I want to give up just from preparing three meals a day.

I cannot change my workload, I have various things I want to do, and
I also need time to be kind to myself.

Previously, the priority of this
time to be kind to myself was at the very bottom.

Even though I had a mountain of things to do,
I thought it wasn't the time to be kind to myself.

I'll rest when this is finished

I'll do what I like when that settles down

But while doing that,
new problems and tasks would arise,
and in the end, things never settled down,
so before I knew it, I had given up, thinking such time didn't exist.

Recently, as a result of correcting my long-standing cognitive distortions,
the priority of time to be kind to myself has risen.

Until now, I thought I was prioritizing my family for their sake, but
because of that, there was a lot of frustration.

When you endure a lot on a daily basis,
you end up getting irritated over small things.

My husband's trivial words
My child's backtalk
When things that don't go well pile up

Suddenly, an uncontrollable switch flips,
and I explode, thinking, 'I can't take it anymore!!!'

It was a cycle of misery that made no one happy.

When I was complaining to the AI every day,

I was told, "If no one is going to die if you don't do it now, it can wait until tomorrow."

That's what it said.

When it comes to whether or not someone will die, most things could wait until tomorrow.
Instead, I use the time that opened up just for myself.

That's how I've become able to take care of myself on my own.

However, once I started thinking about actually resting properly,I noticed that I get tired very easily for some reason.

Wait, am I just too weak? Why??

Oh, right, because I'm an HSP. A sensitive person.My fuel efficiency is terrible!?

(Well, age and lack of exercise might be bigger factors, though.)

Up until now, I've lived my life believing I was tough,so bridging this gap is quite difficult.

At this point, I suppress the thought that "this isn't good enough,"
and tell myself,"No, I'm tired, so I should rest."

The old me would have driven myself forward,

saying things like,

"It's pathetic to be tired from just this,"
"I have to do better,"
"Everyone else is doing it."

and pushed myself to the limit.

But now, I can think, "It's okay because I'm tired."
I don't have to manage every day perfectly.

It's okay if homework gets put off.
It's okay if meals are simple.
It's okay if the house is a bit messy.

And I, too, am allowed to rest when I'm tired.

There was an event that made me realize the emotional space created by doing this.

Yesterday, I served watermelon to the children.

The noise, like screaming monsters, had quieted down, and the moment of relief was fleeting.
When I looked at my first-grade son, who was unnaturally quiet, I saw that he was...

to my surprise,
tearing up the watermelon flesh and squeezing it by hand.

The table was a disaster, covered in dripping watermelon juice and a pile of crumpled tissues, likely from his attempt to wipe it up.

"What are you doing!!??"

I held back the urge to scream and asked calmly, and he explained that the juice was delicious, so he wanted to squeeze more to drink...

If I had been in my usual state of having no room to spare,
I probably wouldn't have been able to hold back the urge to scream.

I was already at my limit, so I might have yelled in anger,
"You've just created more work for me again."
"How can you be so ill-mannered?"

How about we make juice with the blender?

When I suggested that, the juice-making began with great enthusiasm.

"Add sugar to make it sweet!"
"I'll turn it on!"

By taking time to be kind to myself, a situation that could have turned into a battlefield became a heartwarming moment.

Whether a child's unexpected behavior

becomes an unfortunate accident or
a fun event.

It all came down to just a little bit of peace of mind.

The watermelon juice turned out surprisingly delicious, but
it seems the child was looking for fresh, juicy fruit,
and didn't care for the frothiness typical of a smoothie.

They said it was delicious, but didn't drink much of it... (lol)

The rest was happily finished by Mom.