Ambient Felt from a Cigarette
Recently, I've stopped listening to music when I smoke alone.
Until a little while ago, I absolutely loved smoking while listening to melodies spun by a guitar. I felt as if the melancholic sound was turning me into the protagonist of a road movie.
Not long after returning from my hometown for the New Year holidays, I went to smoke as usual, took my AirPods—caked with metal dust—out of their case, and put them in my ears. No sound played. The battery was dead.
I had no choice but to give up on listening to music that time.
I pulled a Marlboro Red from a crumpled soft pack, put it in my mouth, and headed to the rooftop overlooking Tokyo Bay.
It was a windy day. Far above me, seagulls were being swept along. I could see the sun peering down at the world below from a concrete-colored sky. The January wind carried the scent of seaweed washed up on the beach. Enduring the cold that a T-shirt and hoodie couldn't fully block, I lit the tip of the Marlboro. With my back to the wind, I aimed my Bic lighter. Once I finally managed to light the cigarette, I put it in my mouth and looked out over Tokyo Bay again.
I could hear the world that I had been hiding with noise canceling until then.The sound of seagulls crying like creaking chairs. The sound of a light truck clearly carrying too much. Tree branches rustling as they swayed in the wind.Sounds I had never consciously listened to were ringing out vividly.
That was the first time I felt like I truly experienced "ambient music." I felt like I finally understood what the "environmental music that circulates incessantly like air," born from Brian Eno's inspiration by "furniture music," really was.environmental music” is.
Usually, this is where I would be listening to Le Makeup's "Ai no Shirushi" and feeling in a good mood.
"This is my sign of love, a worn-out shirt and the movie I saw yesterday."
That day, I tried singing it myself. My frozen, raspy singing voice was easily drowned out by the sea breeze, but even that felt beautiful.
It took me an hour and a half to write this note.
I'm starting to want a cigarette again, so I'll stop here.
See you later.