The Buffer Points in Human Relationships are a 'Willingness to Yield' and 'Considerate Words'

Hello.
I am Takahashi, a multi-job worker challenging my own potential.

In this era of the 100-year life, I aim to enjoy both work and private life as an active participant for a long time,
while holding the vision of creating a 'village' with many companions,
eventually providing the spark to ignite others,
and through my work as a recruitment agent, in inside sales,
and participating in internships,
I am expanding my 'parallel work' to develop my own potential and latent abilities and to contribute to many people.
Currently, I am entering the 'What I Can Do for the Future' project hosted by Bungeishunju and note!
You can find my latest self-introduction article here.
*I rewrote it recently on May 23rd!

Today, I will write about'human relationships'.

The trigger was a casual scene in my daily life.

It happened while I was walking down the street.

A small child and their mother were walking.
There was a couple in the middle of moving.
There were moving company workers carrying large items together.

At that moment, these words came out of me naturally.

The moving workers also gave a slight nod.

That was all.
But somehow, it felt good.

I didn't do anything big.
I didn't do anything particularly kind.
I just stopped for a moment, yielded a little, and added a few words.

But I felt that the atmosphere in that place
had softened a little.

And I thought.

In other words,
a 'willingness to yield' and 'considerate words'.

I felt that these two things
might be quite important
in daily life, in the workplace, and in business.

I feel that 'please, go ahead' is fading away

I think Japan has some good old sensibilities.

・Taking a step back.
・Yielding.
・Please, go ahead.
・Excuse me.
・Thank you.
・Thank you for your hard work.

I feel that these words and gestures
have always been part of daily life.

Of course,
I don't mean to say that
all old customs were good.

There are many things that have become more convenient in this day and age,
and things have also become freer and more efficient.

However, there is something that bothers me just a little.

Lately, when I walk through town, everyone seems busy.

Of course, I am not perfect either.
I often walk while looking at my smartphone, and
without realizing it,
I think there are times when someone has yielded the path to me.
When I don't have any breathing room,
there might be times when I lack consideration.

But,
I sometimes feel a sense of danger that the 'feeling of taking a step back'
in town is somehow fading away.

Arriving at one's destination quickly.
Completing one's schedule.
Maintaining one's own pace.
Not losing out.

Those are important, too.

But, when it becomes only about that,
the 'small margin' that exists between people disappears.

What is necessary in human relationships is not just being right.
Yes, it is that margin.

・Wait a little.
・Yield a little.
・Add a few words.
・Imagine the other person's circumstances a little.

I believe this small margin prevents conflict.

The value of a 'willingness to yield' is also rising in work

I thought that this everyday feeling also applies to work.

Even in the workplace,
there are surprisingly many small frictions.

・The text in a chat message looks a bit cold.
・It is hard to get a response to a question I want to ask.
・Interrupting the other person's story in a meeting.
・Forgetting to express gratitude because of being too busy.
・Prioritizing one's own correctness too much.
・Making a request without checking the other person's situation.
・The way something is said can create unnecessary friction.

I think these things happen in every workplace.
Each one is not a major problem.
But,
when small frictions pile up,
this can become a knot in human relationships.

When you are thought of this way,
work becomes gradually harder to do.

Conversely, people who have a willingness to yield
are easily trusted by those around them.

“Are you available now?”
“I apologize for interrupting you while you are busy, but...”
“It would be helpful if you could check this first.”
“If that is difficult, I can adjust the timing.”
“Thank you. That was a big help.”

People who can say these things naturally and quickly are strong.
They don't just have skills; they make it easier to work together.

I believe the value of this
“being easy to work with”
will only continue to grow.

Remote work.
Chat communication.
Cross-departmental work.
Side jobs and multiple careers.
Outsourced work.
Project-based work styles.

In the modern era, opportunities for people to collaborate through brief touchpointsare increasing.

That is precisely why
a single thoughtful word can change the relationship.

A “willingness to yield” is not just a virtue.
I believe it is also a skill for building trust in business.

“Cushion words” come from your attitude, not just superficial tricks

This is a bit of a discussion on communication techniques, but since the form is also important, I will introduce it.


Are you familiar with “pillow words” or “cushion words”?

For example,

These are the kinds of words.

They are often used in business emails, chats, and sales situations.

However, I have been thinking lately.

Cushion words are not just something you should say.
Even if you only memorize the words, they can sometimes come across as insincere.

・Showing politeness only on the surface when you are not actually thinking about the other person.
・Using cushion words just to get your own demands met.
・Saying “I apologize for the trouble” formally, while actually being pushy.

This is actually quite apparent to the other person.

What is important is
having the right attitude before the words.is.

You are taking up the other person's time.
The other person has their own circumstances.
Your request will affect the other person's schedule.
Consider how to help the other person act comfortably.

Only with this “element of consideration”
do cushion words gain their true meaning.

Cushioning language is essentially a
lubricant to avoid conflict, clashes, and friction.

However,
lubricant is only meaningful when used in the right amount in the right place.

Using too much is unnatural.
Using too little causes friction.

That is why it is difficult.

More than the words themselves,
I believe it is crucial to determine the right timing to use them.

This also requires learning how to adjust the dosage to suit the other person
by using it in human relationships.
This is cultivated through practice.

To learn the 'timing,' you have no choice but to try using it.

Considerate words have
appropriate timing.

Too early or too late is wrong.
Saying too much or too little is wrong.
Being too polite creates distance.
Being too casual looks sloppy.

This 'timing' is truly difficult.
As I mentioned earlier,
I believe this is something you learn as you use it.

Just knowing cushioning language is not enough.

Try using it in practice, and if it feels a bit unnatural, correct it.
Observe the other person's reaction and change how you say it.
Try changing the timing.
Try to make it more natural next time.

It is a process of repetition.

Sometimes,
I think you might use it inappropriately.

You might intend to be polite, but be too indirect to be understood.
You might intend to be considerate, but end up creating distance instead.
You might choose your words so carefully that your true feelings become hard to see.

That happens too.
But that is also a learning experience.

What I have been feeling lately is that
with social media, the information society, and AI information gathering becoming the norm,
there is a tendency to search for the 'correct answer.'
I feel a strong sense of discomfort with this.
Communication is not about memorizing correct answers.
It is about making small adjustments within the relationship and situation with the other person.

As a salesperson,
and as a human being,
I want to be able to use words more freely.

It is not just about speaking well.

I would like to elevate myself to that level.

Considerate words are born from 'sensibility'

I believe that words filled with consideration and thoughtfulness emerge from
one's own sensibility itself.

Consideration and thoughtfulness are things that
cannot be fully experienced through virtual or digital means alone.

That said,
recent generative AI is very convenient.

It polishes sentences,
provides precise paraphrasing,
suggests business documents with honorifics,
and even creates templates for chat messages.

I also use
generative AI quite a bit for business emails and writing.
However, I believe that
AI cannot fully reflect sensibility itself.

・In this situation, the other person seems to be in a bit of a hurry.
・It is better not to speak too strongly right now.
・For this person, it is better to offer approval before making a proposal.
・In this atmosphere, adding a word or two will soften the mood.
・Right now, it is better to wait a little rather than use words.

I believe these kinds of judgments
are cultivated through real-life experiences.

Feeling it firsthand.
Checking the scene with your own eyes.
Seeing the other person's facial expressions.
Listening to the tone of their voice.
Reading the atmosphere of the room.

These are highly individual elements, and the answer varies for each person.

In the AI era,
while we have become able to know the 'answers',
I feel it is somewhat dangerous to completely lose these opportunities.

It is not that digital is bad.
Remote work, AI, chat, and efficiency are all important.

But the subtle parts of human relationships
are very often polished through real-life experiences.

This is a sense I do not want to forget.

People will not follow you with hyper-rationalism alone

There may be pros and cons, but
I do not really like hyper-rationalism.

Of course, rationality is important.

Reducing waste.
Increasing efficiency.
Increasing speed.
Improving productivity.
Choosing actions that lead directly to results.

These are necessary as a business person.

I myself also value
time management, AI utilization, the Pomodoro technique, and other
ways to increase efficiency, as I have introduced before.

However,
if you judge everything solely by rationality,
there are things that fall through the cracks.

These
might look inefficient when viewed only by the numbers.
But,
in human relationships, they are very important.

Work, no matter how far you go,
is ultimately about people.

No matter how much AI evolves, no matter how much automation progresses,
it is people who ultimately build trust.

People will not be moved just by saying the right thing.
People will not follow you just by doing efficient things.

Is there consideration there?
Is there a sense of security?
Is there a sense of trust?
Can they feel like they want to work with this person?

I believe this is what is important.

Things often forgotten in the first-mover style and speed-oriented approach

Today's era is the era of 'time performance'.
Scenes where speed is prioritized above all else have increased.

Move fast.
Try fast.
Post fast.
Produce results fast.
Improve fast.

This is very important.

I also post on note every day, and
since I am running multiple activities as a side job,
I certainly value a sense of speed.

However,
when you prioritize speed too much, there are things you tend to forget.

・Taking a step back.
・Yielding.
・Saying 'after you'.
・Listening to the other person's circumstances.
・Taking a breath.

The first-mover style is also important.

But,
if you always try to go first,
friction can occur in human relationships.

It is the same in work.

Pushing your own opinion.
Rushing your own results.
Insisting on your own correctness.
Proceeding at your own speed.

If you only do that, people around you may not follow.

Truly strong people are likely those who can yield.

Because you have your own core, you can wait a little.
Because you have your own purpose, you can put others first.
Even if you are in a hurry, you can imagine the other person's situation.

I want to be a person who can have this kind of composure.

Yielding does not mean losing.
I believe it means having space in your heart.

The buffer points in human relationships reside in small words.

Human relationships
do not always break because of big events.
Rather,
they change through the accumulation of small things.

No greeting.
A cold reply.
No gratitude.
A sloppy request.
Not considering the other person's convenience.
Interrupting a conversation.
Immediately denying things.
Being in a hurry only for yourself.

These small frictions gradually erode relationships.

Conversely, small considerations also build relationships.

'After you.'
'Take your time, it's fine.'
'Thank you for your hard work.'
'Thank you.'
'Is now a good time?'
'It's fine to do it within a reasonable range.'
'That was a big help.'
'Sorry for the trouble.'

These words become
the buffer for human relationships.

You cannot make conflicts zero.

There are differences in values.
There is busyness.
There are gaps in perception.
There is also chemistry.

But,
if you have a buffer,
you can soften the impact when you collide.

I believe that buffer is the willingness to yield and considerate words.

Connecting to sales, career change support, and entrepreneurship

This theme is directly linked to my work as well.

In inside sales,
we ask customers to make time to respond to our calls.

Especially if it is an unexpected call.

That is why the first words you say are important.

Check the other person's situation.
Do not talk too much one-sidedly.
Lower their guard.
Provide information that is even slightly useful.
Create an atmosphere where it is easy for the other person to talk.

Without consideration here, relationship building cannot begin.

It is the same in job change support as well.

Job seekers are carrying anxiety and hesitation.
Sometimes they have not even decided whether they should change jobs.
Instead of
pushing job openings on them suddenly,
first create a state where they can talk with peace of mind.

Do not deny.
Do not rush.
Organize.
Respect the other person's pace.
Empathize with their hardships and pain.
Make proper proposals when necessary.

This, too, is
a accumulation of a willingness to yield and thoughtful words.

When aiming to start a business, I think it is the same.

Gathering allies.
Facing customers.
Building a team.
Getting people to cooperate.
Expanding trust.

What is needed at that time
is not just rationality.

I want to move forward with this person.
This person seems like they would listen to me.
This person is someone who values others.

Whether or not they think that way.
I feel this becomes the foundation of the business.

I want to be a person who can have the mental space to yield

A casual scene I saw on the road.

A small child and their mother.
A couple in the middle of moving.
A delivery person carrying a large load.
The few words spoken there.

'Please go ahead'
'Take your time, it's okay'
'Thank you for your hard work'

Just that alone makes me feel good.
I want to cherish that feeling.

Human relationships are not easy.
At work, at home,
in friendships, and in business.

Sometimes things do not go as planned.
Sometimes it does not get across to the other person.

Sometimes I realize later
that my way of saying things was bad.

However, I still want to polish these things little by little.

Take a step back.
Yield.
Say 'after you.'
Imagine the other person's circumstances.
Add a considerate word.

I believe these small, cumulative efforts
make human relationships smoother.

I would rather be someone who
can value people even if it takes a slight detour, rather than someone who
only moves forward in a super-rational, shortest-distance manner.

Speed is important.
Results are important.
Efficiency is important.

But before that,
how I want to be as a person.
I don't want to forget this.

The buffer points in human relationships
are not special techniques.
They are small attitudes found in daily life.

Yielding. Being considerate. Adding a word.

I believe that these cumulative efforts
quietly have an effect on your work, your career,
and your life.

I would love for you all to think about 'consideration' and
share your thoughts in the comments.

[Introduction to Various Magazines]

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