The reason why "I just want you to listen" doesn't get across. What I learned from Ren's [Love Note for Women] based on male psychology
Hello.
I am Takahashi, a multi-career professional challenging my own potential.
In this era of the 100-year life, I aim to stay active and enjoy both work and private life for a long time,
while eventually sparking inspiration in many people,
and with the vision of creating a "village" with many companions,
through recruitment agency work, inside sales,
and internship participation,
I am expanding my "parallel work" to develop my own potential and latent abilities and contribute to many people
.
Today's theme is
"What we can learn from male psychology and love",
which is an article from a different angle than usual.
Suddenly, I would like to ask the women.
Have you ever had the experience of receiving unsolicited advice from a man you confided in about your troubles?
"I just wanted you to listen to me today"
For women who have felt that way,
I highly recommend reading this article by Ren.
Ren is a
note creator who shares insights on male psychology and the differences in thinking between men and women based on his experience of receiving love consultations from women
.
The idea of delivering advice to women from a male perspective
seemed very fresh to me.
Even in the same conversation, men and women have different goals.
What was particularly eye-opening in this article is the
difference that women are easily reassured by "empathy," while men tend to perceive conversations as "problems" to be solved
.
When a woman talks about an unpleasant experience in love,
what she is looking for is not the correct answer, but
"That must have been tough"
"You did your best"
perhaps words of empathy like these.
On the other hand, the moment a man hears the story,
"You should do this next time"
he starts thinking about a solution.
As a man myself, I understand this well.
As a major premise, men don't want to coldly push you away.
Rather, I think it is because of thegood intention of wanting to be useful to the other personthat they rush to provide an answer.
Misunderstandings do not necessarily happen because there are no feelings.
They are gaps in perception caused by not knowing what each other is looking for in a conversation
.
Therefore, from women,
"I just want you to listen today"
Even just by saying this one phrase at the beginning,
it becomes easier for men to understand the role expected of them.
Ren's observational eye that goes beyond just romance
The appeal of Ren's articles is that
he doesn't just talk about male psychology based on intuition, but
explains the flow of conversation by breaking it down instead.
Why do women get hurt?
Why do men end up giving advice?
Because he organizes both sides,
he doesn't make either one the villain.
Reading it as a man myself,
the precision of his observation and the logic built upon psychology felt
highly persuasive.
However, why did I, who writes about careers and work styles,
choose to feature Ren's article this time?
It is because
I felt that this lesson is not just for romance,
but is the foundation of communication.
It also applies to conversations with friends, between men and women in the workplace, spouses and partners,
and siblings and relatives.
I, too, have written my thoughts on work and human relationships
starting from my own experiences.
Whether it's romance or work, the foundation is "human relationships".
I believe that not judging solely by the other person's actions,
but having the attitude of trying to understand the thinking behind those actions,
is the first step to changing a relationship.
I want women to read this when they are troubled by men's words and actions
Ren also writes his notes based on the experience of
actually receiving consultations from women.
It is not a theory of love thought up at a desk,
but trends seen while listening to people's worries; that is why
his words have a sense of reality.
・When you no longer understand a man's feelings in romance.
・When you feel like you are only given advice and not empathized with.
・When you feel anxious, wondering if you lack charm.
Ren's content
should provide an opportunity to re-examine men's words and actions from a different angle.
You can learn about the background and personality of why Ren started his content
from this self-introduction article.
Furthermore,
the mindset of aiming for a "pursued romance" while valuing yourself is also delivered in detail in his paid notes.
I empathized with Ren's stance of turning insights gained from real-life experiences
into words that lighten someone's worries.
Understanding male psychology does not mean forgiving everything men do.
It is about knowing the differences between you and your partner, not blaming yourself more than necessary, and increasing your options for
building better relationships, not just in romance.
is what it is.
Ren's content is not just about teaching dating techniques, but
content aimed at understanding the differences between men and women and reducing misunderstandings in human relationships
.
That is precisely why I
hope Ren's words reach women who are struggling with male psychology.
When you feel that
your conversations with someone important to you are not clicking, why not try thinking about what the other person is seeking from the conversation?
[Introduction to various magazines]
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