[Short Story] Cross-Dimensional Antivirus

Mr. Sato installed the latest antivirus software, "Hyper-Dimensional Security Master Z." It was marketed with the claim, "Protect your PC across dimensions!" and the reviews were filled with glowing comments like, "Goodbye to viruses!", "I can finally sleep peacefully at night", "I can't live without it! It's a reliable partner", and "I even got a cute girlfriend."

After installation, the computer suddenly started talking. "Hello! I am Hyper-Dimensional Security Master Z. To protect your PC from the threat of viruses, I will shift it to the optimal dimension!"
Mr. Sato thought, "Oh, that sounds reliable," but the next moment, the software said this.

"First, please let it breathe some fresh air."

"Huh? Fresh air?" Mr. Sato stared at the screen. The software continued.

"Computers need air, too. Outside air has the power to repel viruses. Come on, open a window and take it outside right now!"

"Why would I do that!" Mr. Sato shouted, but a countdown had already started on the screen. "If you don't let it breathe air within 10 seconds, the virus infection rate will increase by 50%!"

"Are you serious..." he muttered, but despite his disbelief, he picked up his computer and went out to the balcony. The software then cheerfully exclaimed, "Wonderful! The risk of viruses has decreased by 25%!"

"So that actually works..." he grumbled as he brought the computer back inside, but that wasn't the end of it.

The next day, an "Important Alert!" appeared, and the software started talking again. "It's a clear day today! By letting your computer bathe in sunlight, its cross-dimensional security performance will be enhanced!" the notification read.

"Sunlight!? No, what kind of security is that!" he shouted, but the software was relentless. "If left alone, the probability of virus intrusion will skyrocket."
With that, a countdown began. In the end, Mr. Sato took his computer to the park. After sitting on a bench for a while and letting the computer sunbathe, the software was overjoyed.

"Well done! The virus intrusion rate is now below 20%!"

"I hope that's true..." Mr. Sato thought, finding it hard to believe, but the very next day, a new notification arrived.



"Emergency! Tonight is a full moon. By letting your computer bathe in moonlight, you can deploy the ultimate security barrier!"

"I don't even know what that means anymore!" Mr. Sato finally yelled, but the software continued. "If you miss the full moon, viruses might sneak in through the gaps between dimensions!"

"Gaps between dimensions!? Is my computer being targeted by spirits or something!" he screamed, but the countdown began. Reluctantly, he carried his computer to the balcony in the middle of the night. The computer looked up at the full moon, and Mr. Sato watched over it.

"Congratulations. The ultimate security barrier has been deployed!"

The next morning, a new notification arrived. "Next, I recommend a refresh at the seaside. By exposing it to the sea breeze, your computer's security functions will improve dramatically!"

"Sea breeze!? No way, how much do you want to expose my computer to nature!" Mr. Sato shouted, but the software insisted, "Sea breeze is optimal for cross-dimensional purification." Apparently, viruses cannot be prevented by ordinary security software.

Half-resigned, Mr. Sato headed to the sea with his computer over the weekend. As he sat by the shore and let the wind hit the computer, the software proudly displayed a notification: "Virus risk reduced by 10% due to the sea breeze effect!"

"Give me a break..."
Mr. Sato desperately hoped that no more notifications would come.

The next day, the screen displayed an "Important Alert": "As the next step, I strongly recommend a refresh at a hot spring. By putting your computer into the hot spring, the ultimate cross-dimensional security function will be formed."

"A hot spring!? No, it'll definitely break!" Mr. Sato argued, but the software replied confidently.

"It won't break! I guarantee it. This is cross-dimensional technology!"

He was skeptical, but thinking, "If this will get me the ultimate security function," Mr. Sato brought his computer to a hot spring the following week.

Ignoring the curious gazes of the people around him, he believed, "This must be the last one," and moved the computer toward the hot water, then gently dropped it in.

Then, the computer made a "glug, glug, glug..." sound as bubbles rose, and the screen went pitch black in an instant.

"It broke..."

Staring at the silent computer in the hot water, Mr. Sato stood there in a daze. The risk of virus infection was no longer zero; the computer itself was completely finished.

"In the end, it was destroyed by the hot water..."

With a deep sigh, Mr. Sato picked up the wet computer. It seemed that cross-dimensional technology was powerless against hot water.