Can't keep up a routine while raising kids? The secret to habit-building without hitting zero that I found after almost giving up on self-investment

Hello, this is Shimono.

I am a father of three and a company employee.
I write while thinking daily about money, family, and how to live my life moving forward.

“I want to cherish time with my family.”
“But I also want to increase my income.”
“I don't want to give up on my own potential.”

I am just an ordinary father who seriously thinks about such greedy things.

Today, I will write honestly about the problem of

“not being able to create a routine while raising children.”

✅ Ideal habits are powerless in the face of child-rearing

Waking up at 5 AM
One hour of self-investment every day
A perfect routine

When you look at social media or books, those are the words you see.

They are correct. They are probably truly correct.

But
when you have children, everything falls apart.

Waking up in the middle of the night.
Suddenly running a fever.
The morning is a battlefield.
Scrambling to get ready for daycare.
Milk gets spilled before leaving for work.

Even if you decide, “I’ll do this today,” you usually can't.

And then at night.

Falling asleep while putting the kids to bed.

Self-loathing.

“I couldn't do anything again today.”

I think many people have this feeling.

I’ve had it many times too.

Am I no good because I can't keep a routine?
Is my willpower weak?

But I finally realized it recently.

Maybe it’s a mistake to demand a perfect routine during the child-rearing years in the first place.

✅ The problem isn't weak willpower

The reason you can't do it isn't a lack of grit.

It’s just that the environment is too uncertain.

Children are unpredictable.

They don't move according to an adult's convenience.
They don't sleep on schedule.
They aren't in a good mood on schedule.

Yet, you try to

“wake up at the same time every day,”
“do the same actions every day,”
“and produce the same results every day.”

It’s an impossible game.

And what happens if you wake up early by cutting into your sleep?

You get irritable during the day.
You lash out at your children.
You become cold toward your partner.

That is truly putting the cart before the horse.

What’s the point of ruining the atmosphere with your family for the sake of self-investment?

That’s why I thought:

What’s important isn't “waking up early.”
It’s creating margin.

And one more thing.

Instead of a perfect routine,
you just need to have small, fixed actions.

✅ What I stopped doing and what I started

To be honest,

I was incredibly anxious for a while.

If I looked at social media, people were making X amount a month with side hustles.
Assets of X tens of millions through investing.
Steady progress every day through morning activities.

So what about me?

Falling asleep.
Sleep deprivation.
Failing to do what I intended.

“If I keep going like this, it’s no good,” I thought many times.

So I tried a wake-up-early challenge.

Waking up at 4 AM.

The first few days were great.
It was quiet, I could concentrate, and
I seriously thought, “This is it, my life might change.”

But reality wasn't that sweet.

My sleep balance fell apart and I was a wreck during the day.
I lost my composure and got irritable with the kids.
My work performance dropped too.

I realized I couldn't keep going like this.

So, I changed my approach.

I stopped relying on “willpower” to wake up early, and
made it a form that I would definitely do, even if it was small.These are the things I’m currently keeping up with:

・Lightly jogging in the morning to wake up my body

・Reading for just 10 minutes while drinking brown rice tea when I get home
・Writing a note article
・Learning via YouTube during my commute
・Reading a little bit at night on days I can
It’s not a perfect morning routine.

It’s not long-term self-investment either.
But,

I prioritized fixing the action

over keeping to a time.
There are days I can't do it.

There are days when it’s short.
Even so, I don't let it hit zero.

10 minutes is fine.

Just running a little is fine.
Even just a few pages is fine.
Even just doing that, I strangely feel like I’m moving forward.

And above all,

I can properly affirm myself for “having done a little bit today.”

Because I have this feeling,

I think I’m able to continue without strain now.

✅ Not being able to do it doesn't mean you are weak

If right now,

“I’m not getting anything done because of child-rearing,”
“I can't keep up a routine,”
“I feel like I’m not growing,”

if you are thinking that, I want to say:

That’s normal.

In fact, it’s proof that you are facing it properly.

Now that the children are small,

rather than a period of accumulation,
it’s a period of endurance. A period of sowing seeds.

You might not see explosive results.

But,

you keep thinking.
You are struggling.
You are thinking that you want to be better.

That alone is amazing enough.

As a father of three, I assert:

People who are thinking about the future while raising children
are already trying hard enough.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

It doesn't have to be 100 points every day.

As long as you don't let it hit zero, that’s fine.

✅ Summary | Riding the waves is fine. Just don't stop.

The child-rearing period has big waves.

I did it today.
It was impossible today.
I fell asleep today.
I had divine focus today.

That’s fine.

It doesn't have to be a constant rhythm.

You can just move along with the waves.

If you can wake up early, do it.
If it’s impossible, just sleep.

When the children are a little older,
the seeds you were sowing now will sprout all at once.

I believe in that and will continue.

You don't need to be impatient.
You don't need to compare yourself.

At the point where you are thinking about the future while raising children,
you are already moving forward properly.

If you don't stop, you will definitely arrive somewhere.

Thank you for reading until the end 😊
I would be happy if you could like & follow me 😎