Reflections on the phrase 'Love your neighbor'

—A gentle realization that begins with loving yourself—

◾️Introduction — How I perceive these words

"Love your neighbor"
These words are recorded in the Bible as words of Jesus Christ.
(Matthew 22:39)

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

I have never studied Christianity in any formal capacity.
I have only attended a church once for an event.
However, through words I have encountered in movies, books, and online,
I have gradually come to feel the meaning of this phrase.

I am sure those who study faith deeply have different interpretations.

I would be happy if you could read this simply as "one way of feeling"
that has resonated in my heart throughout my own life experiences.

Also, I have no intention of promoting any specific religion, so please read with peace of mind.

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◾️Love that begins with loving yourself

I took these words to mean,
not just "simply love others,"
but rather a teaching to love others only after first loving yourself.
The importance of the act of loving yourself

leads directly to loving other people—
I feel it holds a very deep and gentle meaning.
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What lies behind the desire to be lovedWhen our hearts are not fulfilled,

we wish to be loved and acknowledged by someone amidst our loneliness and solitude.
That is precisely why we try to be kind to others or try to love them.

But what if that person pushes us away?

The moment we feel our thoughts did not reach them and we were not loved,

that "feeling of love" can instantly turn into "sadness" or "aversion."
That might be a little different from true love.

Because that love was born from a desire to fill a void or loneliness in the heart,

a desire to be fulfilled by being loved.
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What does it mean to love yourself?It means—

no matter how miserable you are,
no matter how many parts of yourself you dislike,
even if you feel you are full of flaws,
it means embracing even that "self that thinks it cannot love itself"
without ever abandoning it until the end.
It means continuing to gently say to yourself,

"It's okay even so."
Without denying or blaming any version of yourself,

just quietly accepting "yourself as you are."
That is all it takes.

As you continue to do this little by little,

you will begin to feel that "it is okay to be myself."
Eventually, that sensation will turn into a deep sense of peace.

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"It's okay to be myself" does not mean being lazyHowever, some might think,

"So, does that mean I don't have to make an effort?"
But "it's okay to be myself"

does not mean "you don't have to do anything," but rather
knowing yourself well and acknowledging every part of yourself.

It is also about understanding your strengths and weaknesses,

what you can do, and your limitations.
By knowing yourself, you no longer need to compare yourself to others, and you can exert your strength at your own pace.

That natural effort becomes confidence, becomes motivation,

and turns into the energy to live.
That is why your heart becomes fulfilled.

And a fulfilled heart

changes from "I want to be loved"
to the strength of "I want to love from myself."
It is not dependency or an obligation,

but a state where "love flows out naturally as if overflowing."

I believe this flow is born from truly "loving yourself."

And when I became able to accept my own weaknesses,

I felt through my own experience that this power to accept
is true "strength," true "gentleness," and love itself.
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How to treat the 'bad' selfWhen I talk about this,

I am sometimes asked, "Do you even affirm the self that did something bad?"
However, the fact that you feel "I did something bad"
is proof that you have a conscience within you.

The very fact that you are aware of it is already precious.
What is important is not to blame yourself, but to look at yourself.

Why did I take that action?

Why did I choose those words?

There must have been "the pain of a heart that had no choice but to do so at that time" or "loneliness" there.
First, be close to that pain.

Gently ask your own heart, "Why were you in so much pain?"

If you just blame yourself without doing that, the pain in your heart will not heal.

In fact, you might end up hurting yourself even more deeply.
That is why I feel that reflection is not "blaming yourself,"

but "noticing and understanding the pain."

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Confession is a time to return the heart to the light

The scene of confession in a church, often seen in foreign movies.In that figure confessing sins before a priest,I see "reflection" and "healing" overlapping.

I think confession is not just for confessing sins and asking for forgiveness,

but a time to honestly look at your own suffering and return your heart to the light.
Presenting the pain within you before God.


Opening your heart by saying, "I was in pain," "I was lost."

And when you notice the thirst for love behind that pain,
I believe that leads to "forgiveness,"
and eventually turns into "compassion and understanding for others."
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The 'neighbor' who carries the same pain



When you become able to embrace any version of yourself,you naturally become able to understand that others also have the same weaknesses and loneliness.Everyone carries suffering in places unseen,yet they are living as hard as they can.

When you realize that, you begin to feel affection for people.
Others are not beings separate from yourself,
but another "self" carrying the same pain and anxiety.

That is why I believe we—
become able to "love our neighbor as ourselves."

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The 'essence of love' seen in the movie 'The Shack'


And, my favorite movie.

I felt that "The Shack" also depicts this "essence of love and forgiveness."Amidst the sadness of losing a loved one,the protagonist meets God, converses,and learns to forgive.

The importance of looking at the pain in your own heart.
Loving yourself. God's perspective.
—It is a story of remembering all of that.

There was a light-like gentleness and mercy that turned suffering, regret, and even hatred
into love.

I think it is a work that makes you feel the meaning of living itself,
transcending religion.
If there is anyone who hasn't seen it yet,

please watch it on a quiet night.

I am sure the "love" within you
will also be quietly lit🌿

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Conclusion


"Love your neighbor"

—The true meaning of these words is,

to find love within yourself first in order to love others.Knowing yourself,being close to your suffering,and loving yourself.

When that love becomes full,
we naturally
become able to live a love that gently embraces the world as well.🌙