The True Wish of the Heart Revealed by 'The Me Who Wants to Change But Can't Move' | Episode 8 | The Instinct to Change

1: I had always blamed myself for wanting to change but being unable to move

I had always blamed 'the me who wants to change but cannot move'.

- I made a resolution, but I didn't keep it up.
- Even when I thought about doing something, my body would stop.

Every time that happened,
I would get depressed, thinking, 'Why can't I do it...'

Since I was young, I had always endured everything at home and at school,
'a habit of prioritizing survival over my own feelings'had taken root, so
I didn't even have the concept of changing.

But the me back then was just—
I just didn't know how to move, that's all.

2: The reason I couldn't change wasn't 'laziness,' but a brake in my heart

The old me
was convinced that 'I can't change because I'm lazy.'

But that wasn't true.

People,
the more scary or painful experiences they have,
the more their hearts automatically'apply the brakes.'

To put it simply,
it's like your heart is trying to protect the places where it was injured,
'You mustn't move!'and is putting on the brakes.

I had been in that state for a long time.

It wasn't that I couldn't change,
it was just that my heart was trying to protect me.

3: The moment I thought, 'I can't end it like this'

One day, suddenly,
I heard a small voice from deep within my heart.

'I can't end it like this.'

There was nothing special about that day,
I had just come home tired,
and was staring blankly at the ceiling.

But suddenly,
the 'true feelings' I had been glossing over all this time
popped up.

Even though I was someone who had lived only by enduring things at home, at school, and at work,
at that moment, my heart moved.

'Actually, I want to live more properly.'
That weak little phrase
was my turning point.

4: The Real Reason the Heart Fears Change

The reason I was afraid of “changing” wasn't because I was lazy, but because I was afraid of losing something.

If I changed,
my relationships might change.
I might not be the same person anymore.
“What if I get betrayed again?”
That kind of anxiety was always following me around.

To put it in a way that makes sense,
I was just afraid of letting go of the old bag I had been carrying for so long.

Because that bag contained all my sadness and all my endurance.

Being afraid of change
doesn't mean you're weak.
It just means you wanted to protect something important.

5: The Moment the 'Instinct to Change' Was Born Anyway

Even though the feeling of fear was much stronger,
a small voice still survived deep in my heart.

“Actually, I want to change.”

This voice
was neither strong nor clear.
But no matter how much I was hurt, it never disappeared.

Inside me, who had been enduring things since I was a child,
it was the one part that didn't break.

I think that was my “instinct to change.”

It was like a tiny lightbulb glowing faintly in the corner of a dark room.

It was feeble, but it had always been there.

From the day I noticed that light,
my life slowly began to move.

6: My Change Began with Just One Small Action

The trigger for me to start changing
wasn't a grand resolution or effort,
but just one small action.

That was—
“Today, I will do at least this much to make myself feel better,”
and deciding on just one thing.

Even with such small actions,
as I continued them, “space” began to grow in my heart.

To put it in a way that makes sense,
it’s like the moment you take off a heavy school backpack,
your feelings become lighter.

From there, my change began quietly.

7: A '1-Millimeter Change List' You Can Start Today

Changing isn't about
making a big decision, is it?

It's just about making things a millimeter easier for yourself.
That is more than enough.

For example...

A small change, like climbing just one step on a staircase.

Even so, if you continue every day,
when you realize it,
you will have changed from
the 'me who wants to change' tothe 'me who has started to change'.

🌙 Conclusion

The 'me who wants to change but can't' is,
in truth, not weak;
it is proof that you have been doing your best all alone.

I, too, was stuck in the same place for a long time.
I wanted to move forward, but my feet were frozen.
I had the motivation, but my body wouldn't follow.
I felt pathetic for being that way and fell into a slump many times.

But now I understand.

Change doesn't happen all at once.
'Security'needs to grow a little before you can finally take the next step.

If you, too,
have a desire to change right now,
please cherish that voice.

Because that small voice is
the'instinct to change'within you.

🌅 [Next Episode Preview | Episode 9]

'I want to tell you, but I can't say it well'
Until the 'kindness' hidden deep within that awkwardness awakens

Just as my desire to change began to stir,
another sense of unease remained in my heart.

'I really want to tell you, but I can't.'

I'm afraid to put my feelings into words.
I worry that I might be a burden.
I feel like I'll be disliked if I tell you.
That anxiety always made me keep my mouth shut.

But you know.

It's not that the 'me who can't speak up' is bad;
it's just that you cared for others too much.

In Episode 9,

・Why we hide our true feelings
・The 'kindness' behind the self that cannot speak up
・Words that only emerge when the heart feels safe
・How to build relationships where you aren't hated even when you share your true feelings

I will unravel these through my own experiences.

I will deliver a story where the
'instinct to share'
sleeping within you quietly awakens.

🕊 Thank you so much for reading slowly.

Since you have read this far,
I believe you are currently in the middle of quietly facing your own heart.

Even if you have a desire to change,
even if there are days when you are afraid to move forward,
everything is fine just as it is.

It is okay to go at your own pace.
It is okay to stop.
It is okay to rest.

What is important is
'that your heart feels even a little lighter'.

If today's words
can become a sense of security
that you can gently keep somewhere in your heart, I would be happy.

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'Human Instincts and 10 Realizations to Set Your Heart Free'

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