This Is My Life: Choosing to Live to Break the Chain of Death
I am the youngest of six children.
Days filled with my father's verbal and physical abuse were the norm.
I was raised being told, "Money is everything!" and "Don't trust anyone!"
Everyone in the family was just looking out for themselves; there was no such thing as "family love."
And then,
My father passed away when I was 18.
(I will talk about my father's death in the final chapter if I can.)
At 20, I gave birth to my eldest daughter and got married.
At 26, I gave birth to my second daughter.
At 29, I divorced my ex-husband due to his debts, infidelity, and minor physical abuse.
I became a single mother, and with no job prospects, I started working at a factory.
I have worked many different jobs.
There were many difficult times in raising my children as well.
On top of that, dealing with issues involving my brother and mother, I went through a mentally painful period,
And at 35, my older sister, who lived overseas, passed away.
She died by suicide.
From there, I experienced depression for about three years.
I lost all hope of living...
I gradually recovered through "encounters and opportunities" with people.
Since then, although many things happened, my children grew up, and I felt more at ease.
Around the age of 40, considering my age, I thought I wanted to find something by the time I turned 45.
I couldn't quite find it.
Around 45, I found something I wanted to do by utilizing my own experiences.
At 46, I decided to go to school to study for that purpose.
For the first time, I felt that studying was fun.
I dislike the word "try my best," but I felt I could try my best for something I loved.
Then, I started communicating with my brother, whom I hadn't heard from in about five years.
My brother had the same mindset as my father, and I disliked him.
I knew that deep down, he was kind.
That, too, was just like my father.
I learned that my brother had a partner.
I thought, "I can't believe someone would actually stay with that brother of mine."
And then,
At the end of May this year, his partner passed away.
She died by suicide.
And then, my brother also passed away in mid-June.
He died by suicide.
And now, I am living "to live."
I have "chosen" to live in order to break the "chain of death."
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