Angels are by the side of those who grieve—what I learned about 'just being alive is a perfect score'

Hello, this is haRu*☽.

When I opened note today, I received this notification↓

The images I posted with all my heart—
knowing that they resonated with the thoughts I put into my articles and that someone used them makes my own heart feel warm.

Thank you for using them♡

Now, the other day, while watching a movie about Van Gogh at home, these words stayed with me.

If you are in the midst of grief right now, please try to feel these words.

Surely, an unseen presence is quietly watching over you right by your side...

I myself have had a time when I felt I was at the rock bottom of my life.

No words could reach me, and it wasI don't want to hear it, I can't accept it—that was what those days were like.

I felt like my heart was going to break, and I was so scared that I wanted to shut down all my senses. I would try to sleep... but even when I tried to sleep, I couldn't, and even when I closed my eyes, I would wake up immediately.

My body and mind were doing everything they could just to endure.

Having experienced it, I realized that even the sounds and scents that had supported me until thenfelt like they were of no use at all.

No... if I had been able to use them, like 'let's play some music to heal my heart' or 'let's use essential oils to melt away the sadness,' they might have actually helped, but in the middle of that grief, I didn't have the capacity to receive that strength.

Just to keep living, I was doing my best just to breathe—I was desperate just to do that.

Reflecting on that experience now, I think—
“Just being alive is a perfect score.”That is what I believe.

No matter how great a sorrow visits you, please embrace that 'now'—the fact that you are continuing to breathe and that your heart is beating.

There is a saying in the Bible that 'God does not give us trials we cannot bear,' but back then, I was shouting, 'There is no God! How terrible to give me such a trial!' Haha.

However, as I continued to live one day after another, the suffering eventually quieted down, and I was able to spend my time in peace once again...

So, you will be okay, too.

Those around you truly understand you in your sorrow, and just like in Van Gogh's words, angels are quietly by your side...🤍

Triggered by words that resonated with me in a Van Gogh movie, I found myself writing this piece for some reason.

These words, which I have penned as if by automatic writing...
I am posting them as they are, hoping that perhaps they might light a small flame of hope in the heart of just one person.

To you who want to love, want to be loved, and want to feel love deeply—may that desire be gently fulfilled.

haRu*☽

🤍 Resonance Essayist | haRu*☽
Opening up sensibilities, healing with sound, and returning through words—
A note creator who accompanies you on the journey of 'living as my true self'

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