[No More Worries!] Understanding and Effectively Engaging with Children Who Wander Off to Places That Interest Them
They try to go outside and play on their own, following their whims💦
When their favorite character appears on TV, they walk away even while eating💦
During activities at preschool, if they see a bug they love, they go off toward it💦
While out for a walk, they shake off Mom's hand and try to go where something caught their eye💦
Don't they almost always cry when you force them to come back?
It's worrying when your child wanders off outside the moment you take your eyes off them, isn't it?😫😵💫
In this article, regarding times when they wander off to places that interest them, we will introduce the following 4 points:
①What's going on in your child's mind
② Tips for engagement
③ Interactions to be careful about
④ Preventive measures to keep them from wandering off to places that interest them
Above 4 points💡
By reading to the end, you will understand how to engage with them so they can develop daily habits and spend their time calmly, so please use this as a reference.
I hope this will be of some help to fathers and mothers who are worried about their children wandering off to places that interest them. If you think, "That makes sense!", I would be happy if you could share this article.🌸
🌟A brief self-introduction🌟
🍀 I am Asahi, a Clinical Psychologist and Certified Public Psychologist.
🍀 I sincerely respect all fathers and mothers who are raising children.
🍀 I have been handling over 1,500 cases every year for 10 years in child-rearing support and developmental disability support.
🍀 I work at medical institutions and developmental support facilities.
🍀 I am also a parent of two children (with autism and ADHD).
🍀 From a professional perspective, I strive to share information that can be of some help and make child-rearing easier.
Why is it easy for them to wander off to places that interest them!?
When there is something in front of them that catches their attention and they go toward it, in your child's mind,their head is completely filled with only the thing that interests thembecomes the state.
As a result, theytend to forget the activity they are currently engaged in💡
The thing they are interested in is illuminated by aspotlight, and the rest of the situation becomes dark and hard to see🍀
It becomes difficult for them to judge the surrounding situation or know what actions they should take, so they go off toward it📣
How to deal with it when they have wandered off
① First, ensure safety📣
→ If a young child goes outside alone, there are various dangers such as traffic accidents.
If they have wandered outside on their own, yourtop priority is to ensure the child's safety.
② Set a time and make a promise📣
→ If they have gone off to something that interests them, let them look at it for a set amount of time, whether it's 5 or 10 minutes🌸
→ This is because once something they are interested in catches their eye, dragging them away by force will only make things harder by causing them to cry or get angry.💡
Instead, the trick is to make a promise that they will return to the room when the time is up😊✨✨
It's not that they can look for as long as they want, but the point is to have a rule that they can look if they keep their promise😁👍👍
If you just say "it's time to go" without a prior agreement, they will be surprised by the suddenness and are more likely to refuse to leave.😭😭😭
However, by making a promise beforehand, they will have a sense of anticipation, thinking, "It's almost time.💡"
A child's subsequent reaction is completely different depending on whether it was expected or unexpected.🌟
To communicate that the time is up, it is a good idea to decide on the time they can look using a smartphone clock or timer⏰
③ Ways to help them refocus on the next activity📣
Even if they don't go outside, if they are looking out the window and can no longer do what they were doing, use curtains or partitions to keep it out of their sight, and praise them once they have switched tasks.💡
Then, specifically show them what they are doing now or what activity is next, or show them a concrete object to help bring their focus back to the activity.😘✨
When their attention is drawn to something they are interested in🍀, they cannot bring their focus back to the activity on their own.🍀
Interactions to be careful about
Scolding them when they return🚨
They might think, "If I go back, I'll get scolded!" and end up not being able to return at all😱😱
Even if they ran off on their own, the fact that they returned on their own is actually a desirable behavior from an adult's perspective.
I truly, truly understand the feeling of getting emotional, but when you have calmed down, it is effective to tell them, "I'm glad you came back" or "I was very worried about you"😊✨✨
What if it's truly dangerous?
⇒Please stop them with a loud voice. The trick is not to scold them when they return.
Making them make impossible promises🚨
→ If they keep repeating the behavior even after making a promise, the meaning of that promise might be too difficult for them.
→ If you think about it from the child's perspective, they end up receiving a double scolding for both not keeping the promise and for running off.💧
→ Also, when you say things like, "Promise me you won't do it again, okay?" or "You know that's not allowed from now on, right?", there is a risk that the child will learn that if they just say, "I won't do it again" or "Okay," they can get through the situation for the time being💧
Preventive interaction to make it harder for them to wander off
For children who are prone to going toward things that interest them 🌟the most effective response is prevention 🌟.
Why is prevention effective?
When something interesting enters their sight or hearing, their mind becomes completely filled with it.
Even if they try to stop, for the child, they cannot help but be curious.
This is because once they have gone, a certain amount of time will be required.
Let's grasp the times and causes when they are likely to wander off 💡
It is a good idea to predict the timing and times when they want to go outside based on the child's behavior.
🍀Specific examples 🍀
①: The time when the sound of their favorite garbage truck can be heard ②: The time when the train runs ③: They want to go outside after finishing watching TV
Once you know the cause, let's prepare the environment.
If it enters their field of vision, it is actually unavoidable that they will be unable to leave that spot for a certain amount of time💦 Therefore, if there is something outside the house or nursery that attracts the child's interest and they are prone to going there,
it is important to keep it out of their sight only during those times💡
Example ①:Keep the windows or curtains closed during those times so they are not distracted by sounds or sights from outside 👍
Example ②:If a train runs while you are out for a walk, shift the time of the walk or take a new walking route 👍 ※If the child enjoys watching the train every time and the adult has the capacity, of course you do not need to change it. It does not mean you must never let them see it. The point is to keep it out of their sight
when you want them to focus on the activity they are currently doing💡
If you are inside the house
If it is TV, record the program and watch it after finishing the meal
During meals, have them sit so their favorite toys are not in their field of vision, or put them away
For children who wander off to play as they please 💡
It is a good idea to decide on the time for playing outside 😘
※For children who love playing outside and wander off as they please, regardless of interest → Even if you cannot go outside right now,
"Let's go outside at 10 o'clock" 💡
"Today, let's go to the park after we eat lunch" 💡
By giving advance notice like this, they can look forward to that time.
Why?
⇒There is a reason why they go outside on their own.
→ In most cases, if the daily schedule is not set, they don't know when they can go outside, so they want to go right away💡
→ Therefore✨giving them a clear expectation in advance that they can "play outside" is an effective response😁🧡
If things inside the room are not interesting or for children who cannot find fun activities to do indoors and want to play outside → It is also important to find indoor activities that your child can get absorbed in and enjoy💡
You might think, "That's difficult!" What kind of play specifically? ⇒ If they want to move their body, a trampoline is recommended💡
Many children also get hooked on block play like LEGO💡
If they are able to play in the room or wait without going outside until the agreed time, praising them a lot will lead to your child's motivation.
Little by little, they will acquire proper daily habits and be able to spend their time calmly😍🔅
If the wandering off happens too often & is intense
→ Precautions such as keeping the front door locked at all times & using a chain so they cannot unlock it on their own are necessary🚨🚨
*If you are really struggling*: local child-rearing consultation agencies or medical institutions is also important🍀
Please don't worry by yourself at home; try incorporating advice from various people.
Summary
This is a summary of this article.
Inside your child's head🍀
Their mind is so full of things they are curious about that they easily forget the activity they are currently working on.
The things they are interested in are illuminated by a spotlight, making it difficult for them to see the rest of the situation clearly.
How to deal with it when they wander off🍀
First, ensure their safety📣
→ Since there are various dangers, please prioritize their safety above all else
Set a time and make a promise📣
→ Please set rules with a clear outlook, and praise them when they are able to follow them.
→ Use tools that work for your child, such as a timer or a clock, to help bring their attention back.
Ways to help them refocus on the next activity📣
→ Specifically indicate what they are doing now or what activity is next, or show them concrete objects to help bring their focus back to the activity.
Interactions to be careful about🍀
Scolding them when they return🚨
Making them agree to unreasonable promises🚨
Preventive measures🍀
Try to understand the times and causes that lead them to wander off💡
→ Once you understand the cause, adjust the environment accordingly.
Note: This does not mean they should never be allowed to see those things. The key is to keep them out of sight when you want them to focus on the activity at hand.
🚨 For children who wander off to play whenever they feel like it
Set specific times for playing outside
Find indoor activities that they can get absorbed in and help them enjoy those
Note: If they are able to play inside or wait without going outside until the agreed-upon time, be sure to praise them a lot.
🚨 If they wander off frequently and intensely
Measures to prevent them from unlocking doors are necessary.
It is also important to consult with local child-rearing support organizations or medical institutions.
How was this? I hope you found some ways to engage with your child that work for you in this article.
I share this information in the hope that it will ease the minds of as many people struggling with child-rearing as possible😁✨✨
I would be very happy if you could share this article to show your support🍀
Thank you for reading until the end🌸