To me, 300 days from now, reading this letter

It is already December 6, 2026. This year is also about to come to an end.
What kind of year has 2026 been for you?

Are you still enjoying writing on note?
Since you have always loved writing, I am sure you are still writing something.

Did you give it your all again this year?
“The importance of living in the moment”was something you felt more keenly than anyone else back then, wasn't it?

That day, 18 years ago.
At 20, a large tumor was found on my ovary, and I had to have one ovary removed.

It was right after my coming-of-age ceremony, just when I somehow believed that only a bright future lay ahead.

When I was told about the illness,
・I should have gone to the countries I wanted to visit more, even if I didn't have the money
・I shouldn't have held back on the present for the sake of the future
・I should have done what I wanted to do while I was healthy

Those regrets were swirling around in my heart, weren't they?

Even as I listened to the doctor's explanation, I couldn't accept the reality.
It didn't feel like it was happening to me; it felt like I was watching a drama.

The expression on the face of the elderly nurse who looked at me with pity, not knowing what to say to a 20-year-old.
Even now, it is burned into my mind and won't go away.

Young means healthy.
Life is still long.

I learned that day that there is no guarantee for such things.
What was I so conceited about?

Being able to see the person you love.
Being able to eat what you like.
Being able to travel to places you like and do what you want to do.

I had taken it all for granted.

But those things were never a given.
It was the day I realized for the first time, after losing it, that everything was a miracle.

Fortunately, the tumor had not metastasized.
It would be fine if I had it removed.
I was really lucky that it was found early.

The surgery was scary, but it was over in a flash while I was asleep.
Since it was a general hospital, there was a neonatal ward near my room.

The newborn babies I can see from the window.
The sound of them crying out with vitality.

"I want children someday."
I used to think that, but
maybe I won't be able to have children anymore.
Since I'm not healthy to begin with, maybe even marriage will be difficult.

The woman in the bed next to me was in her 40s and told me she had a hysterectomy.
But when I heard she had already finished giving birth to two children,
I felt strangely envious just from that. (I'm sorry.)

In the hospital bed,
"If I'm going to live alone from here on out,
what kind of work should I do, and how should I live?"
I was thinking about nothing but things that had no answers.

My sister, two years younger than me, had a shotgun wedding at 19.
Thanks to her showing our parents the face of a grandchild,
I remember feeling a weight lift off my shoulders, thinking that a life without children might be okay too.

Pregnancy is possible if you have one ovary.
But I don't know if I can get pregnant.
I also have PCOS, which involves hormonal and metabolic abnormalities.
If I decide I want children, fertility treatment will be essential.
"Even so, do you still want to marry me?"

When the topic of marriage came up,
I clearly told my husband, who I was dating at the time, exactly that.

Even so, he chose to walk the path of life with me without hesitation.

Since then, time has passed.

Thankfully,
I have been blessed with three children.

Even now, my parents
still tell me many times,
"I never even dreamed that you would give birth to three children."

I'm sure the me from back then couldn't have imagined it at all either.
If a time machine existed and my past self saw my current self,
"Are you sure you have the right person?"
she would be so surprised.

But you know.

My main job, my side job, and raising children.
Finding the balance between them is, as expected, not easy.

I believe I understand better than anyone
that health is the most important thing.

So,
when you want to sleep, make sure you sleep. Haha

But still.
You are greedy, aren't you?

If possible, you want to have it all.
You don't want to do any of it halfway.

While also valuing rest,
I wonder if you were still able to cherish each day
and properly give your all to try the things you wanted to do.

In raising your children, were you able to fully savor the time with your adorable kids in the "now"?
Did you properly take them to the places they wanted to go?

I hope that you, 300 days from now, can think,
"I lived 100% today, too!"

It's okay if there are some things you haven't accomplished.
Because there is no right answer anywhere.


It's fine to keep feeling lost,
or to stand still.
Just make sure to avoid any fatal wounds as you move forward.

"Putting it off until tomorrow is for fools."
Do what you can today, today. Don't carry it over.

Once you're dead, you can relax as much as you want in your coffin.

Thinking that way,
let's continue to live, cherishing the present.

Even so, you, who have lived until today,
are undoubtedly
the continuation of me at 20 years old from that day.

Lastly

This article
is participating in Takacchi-san's project themed around 300.

This time, I wrote a letter to myself 300 days from now😊

If you'd like,
why don't you also put into words what comes to mind from the number 300?

Surely,
there is a 300 that only you, as you are now, can write about.

I delivered this in a mellow mood for the first time in a while. lol
I write articles like this sometimes, too!🤣

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