Why men who invite women to dinner on a first date fail to get a second one

I am Ryotaro, an instructor at "Koi-Tore University," a school for learning about love.

You match with a girl on a matching app and go on a first date.

You get pumped up and book a restaurant with a view of the night skyline or an izakaya with a great atmosphere.

Actually, this is a typical pattern for men who don't get a second date.

In conclusion, the correct choice for a first date is a "one-hour cafe visit during the day."

Dinner is not suitable for a first date.

Today, I will explain the reason why.

First, let's confirm the purpose of a first date.

A first date is a place for both parties to check if the other is "a match or not." It is not a place to have deep conversations to close the distance, nor is it a place to try to win them over.

It is not a place to have deep conversations to close the distance, nor is it a place to try to win them over.

When you think about it that way, a 2 to 3-hour dinner is

too long.

The longer the time, the more you have to be considerate, the more likely you are to run out of conversation topics, the more silences occur, and the more opportunities there are for you to lose points.

By the way, spending two hours at night with a man you've just met is a high psychological hurdle for a girl as well.

She will be wary of spending a long time at night with a man she hasn't even met yet, and if she is wary, it becomes harder to set up the appointment itself, and the rate of last-minute cancellations also increases.

Embarrassingly, before I learned about dating, I thought a date meant dinner, so I did this all the time.

Every time, I would put in the effort to book a restaurant, and about 7,000 yen would fly away per date.

The result was zero girlfriends in three years.

I kept repeating the cycle of ending a first date with 'they were a nice person' and never making it to a second date.

Since then, the pattern I arrived at after joining a community three years ago to learn about dating and going on dates with over 150 people is this.

Meet at a cafe for one hour between 2:00 PM and 5:00 PM.

That is all.

What you need to do is also simple.

Enjoy the conversation, switch to casual speech early on to shorten the distance between you.

At some point, reveal your interest just once by saying, 'You're totally my type.'

Then, based on a topic they reacted well to, plant the seed for a second date by saying, 'Let's go there sometime,' and then quickly wrap things up.

The key is toend it while they are still thinking, 'Wait, is it over already?'.

In my fastest case, I wrapped things up in 40 minutes, but because we parted ways while still feeling like we 'wanted to talk more,' the girl is left wanting to see me again.

If you spend the whole time having a full-course dinner and exhaust all your topics, it just ends with her thinking, 'That was fun. I'm satisfied.'

If that happens, it won't lead to a second date.

By the way, when I was a student of dating, I used this method to go on 3 to 4 dates a day—at 12:00, 14:00, 16:00, and 18:00—just like a school schedule.

Some people say they are too busy to date, but this seems doable, right?

If you go on enough dates, you gain experience and can put yourself in a position where you have options to compare.

Keeping the first date light also means increasing the overall turnover rate of your dating life.

Besides, to be realistic, the cost is completely different.

A cafe date costs about 2,000 yen for two.

You can escape the losing game of spending 10,000 yen on dinner only to end up with 'he's a nice guy, but...'

You might be thinking, 'But isn't one hour not enough?'

Rest assured.

A girl decides whether you are a 'yes' or a 'no' within the first few minutes of meeting you.

Making the date longer won't change that judgment.

A man who cuts the date short actually gains an advantage because he comes across as 'busy' and 'composed'.

I once went to a place called a solo-seating bar.

There,the time you could spend talking to one person was only 20 minutes.

Even if it was only for a short time, if she really liked you, she would normally accept an invitation to dinner for a second date.

So, when should you use that high-effort dinner?

That would be for the second date.

The second date is the day to go for the win, moving from dinner to a bar to close the distance and make your confession.

Dinner is something you should prepare for carefully and use to make your move only after you have been given the green light.

A first date is not a place to try too hard, but a place to secure the next one.

The man who wraps things up while there is still more to be said is the winner.

In my newsletter, I share more detailed information on how to structure conversations on a first date and how to invite someone out in a way that leads to a second date.

“I always struggle with choosing a place for the first date”
“The cost of dates adds up, but I get no results”
“I’m afraid of long dates because I’m worried about keeping the conversation going”

If you have these kinds of worries, please register via the link below↓

▶Register for the free newsletter now◀

Using matching apps, I am currently sending out dating know-how that helped me get an idol-level beauty as my girlfriend in just 3 weeks via my free newsletter.

🏆 Get 8 Luxurious Bonuses Now 🏆

1️⃣【500 Matches in 1 Month】The Matching App Strategy Bible for Mass-Producing Date Appointments
2️⃣【Over 3 Hours of Real Footage】A Thorough Audio Guide on Real Dates for Beginners to Naturally Get Closer to Beautiful Women
3️⃣【Instant Appointment Mass-Production】Just Copy and Paste! LINE Template Sheet to Secure a Date in Just 1 Day
4️⃣【10x Your Date Success Rate Starting Tomorrow】10 "Magic Phrases" to Keep the Conversation Flowing Even If You're Not Good at Talking
5️⃣【5x Increase in Match Rate】Matching App Sub-Photo Collection That Stimulates a Woman's "Instincts"
6️⃣【No More Stress Over Choosing a Restaurant】Complete List of Foolproof Date Spots (Tokyo Edition)
7️⃣【Change Even If You're Bad at Conversation】Communication Skills Up Video to Help You Talk Naturally with Women
8️⃣【Full Disclosure of Interactions Leading to a Hookup】Exclusive Open Chat Where You Can Peek at the Dating Strategies Used by a Dating Coach

▶Register here◀