A 'pat on the lower back' is just right for saying goodbye on a first date
I am Ryotaro, an instructor at 'Koi-Tore University,' a school for learning about love.
In conclusion, what makes a girl think of you romantically on a first date is not the content of your questions, but your approach.
There are often 'lists of questions to ask on a first date' on social media, but no matter how many of those you memorize, you cannot make a girl see you as a potential boyfriend just by using them.
I received this question from a student in the community where I serve as an instructor.
'I went on a first date with a girl I met on a matching app. However, she has never been in a relationship before, and I was the first person she had ever met from an app.
Naturally, I couldn't ask about her past relationships, and when I asked about her type, she said nothing other than 'someone kind.'
If the 'questions to ask on a first date' often introduced in videos can't be used, how can I make her think of me romantically?'
Like this, techniques often found in relationship-related content, such as 'asking about past relationships to bring the mood into a romantic one,' are completely useless if the other person has zero experience.
But please, rest assured.
Whether the other person has no relationship experience or, conversely, a wealth of experience, what makes them think of you romantically in the first place is not the questions you ask.
On a date, a girl judges you more by 'how you treated her' than by 'what questions you asked.'
So, what exactly should you do?
There are only these three things to do on a first date.
Switch to casual speech 20-30 minutes into the conversation to close the distance
React somewhat exaggeratedly to what the other person says
Express affection, such as saying 'You're cute,' only once during the date
First of all, if you don't switch to casual speech, the two of you will never get closer.
Whether it's on LINE or during the actual date, make sure to switch to casual speech at some point. You must be conscious of this.
And whether the conversation becomes lively or not doesn't depend on asking easy-to-answer questions, but ultimately on 'exaggerated reactions' being the key.
You find it easier to talk to someone who listens to you with a smile and nods along than someone who listens with a straight face, right?
The idea is to make the girl you're with feel that way too.
Also, you only need to express your interest in the other person about once during the date.
Overdoing it will actually lower your own value, so that's a no-go.
By the way, some of you might be wondering, "Shouldn't I use physical touch?"
Of course it's effective, but be careful not to overdo it on the first date.
Personally, I often don't even touch their hand on a first date.
When saying goodbye, I'll say, "Take care on your way home," while giving them a light pat on the lower back.
That much is just fine.
In fact, for those with less experience, being too aggressive is an instant deal-breaker.
For someone who says they like "kind people," the right approach is to show them a relaxed, gentle kindness.
At that moment, there is no need to feel anxious, thinking, 'I don't feel like the conversation went that well' or 'I'm not sure if I made an impression...'
Whether there is a spark is not determined by how exciting the first date was, but by whether they come on a second date.
Instead of overanalyzing the atmosphere of the date and letting it affect your mood, focus on securing the next appointment.
A first date is not about questioning skills, but about your approach.
If you can make them see you as a 'man' here, you win.
In my newsletter, I share more details on how to structure conversations to close the distance on a first date, as well as how to use natural physical touch.
'I don't know what to talk about on a date'
'The conversation is lively, but it doesn't lead to a second date'
'Before I know it, I end up just being a "nice guy"'
If you have such worries, please be sure to register via the link below ↓
▶Free newsletter from Japan's No. 1 dating coach◀
Using matching apps, I am currently distributing the 'Koi-Tore University Style' dating know-how that helped me get a girlfriend in just 3 weeks.Koi-Tore University Style dating know-how that helped me get a girlfriend in just 3 weeks is being distributed.
🏆 Get 8 luxurious special benefits now 🏆
1️⃣[500 matches in 1 month] The Love Training App Strategy Bible that makes them want to see you non-stop
2️⃣[3 hours of complete real-life recordings] Real date audio of a dating beginner naturally closing the distance with a beautiful woman
3️⃣[Mass produce instant appointments] Just copy and paste! A complete set of LINE templates to get a date in one day
4️⃣[10x your date success rate starting tomorrow] 10 'magic phrases' that keep the conversation flowing even if you're not a smooth talker
5️⃣[5x increase in match rate] A collection of dating app sub-photos that stimulate a woman's 'instincts'
6️⃣[No more worrying about choosing a place] A complete list of foolproof date spots (Tokyo edition)
7️⃣[You can change even if you're bad at conversation] Communication skills improvement video to help you talk to women naturally
8️⃣[All interactions until taking her home revealed] An open chat where you can peek at the dating strategies used by a love coach
▶Register here◀
いいなと思ったら応援しよう!
いただいたサポートは「ブログの取材費」に使わせていただきます!