A 'pat on the lower back' is just right for saying goodbye on a first date

I am Ryotaro, an instructor at 'Koi-Tore University,' a school for learning about love.

In conclusion, what makes a girl think of you romantically on a first date is not the content of your questions, but your approach.

There are often 'lists of questions to ask on a first date' on social media, but no matter how many of those you memorize, you cannot make a girl see you as a potential boyfriend just by using them.

I received this question from a student in the community where I serve as an instructor.

Like this, techniques often found in relationship-related content, such as 'asking about past relationships to bring the mood into a romantic one,' are completely useless if the other person has zero experience.

But please, rest assured.

Whether the other person has no relationship experience or, conversely, a wealth of experience, what makes them think of you romantically in the first place is not the questions you ask.

On a date, a girl judges you more by 'how you treated her' than by 'what questions you asked.'

So, what exactly should you do?

There are only these three things to do on a first date.

• Switch to casual speech 20-30 minutes into the conversation to close the distance

• React somewhat exaggeratedly to what the other person says

• Express affection, such as saying 'You're cute,' only once during the date

First of all, if you don't switch to casual speech, the two of you will never get closer.

Whether it's on LINE or during the actual date, make sure to switch to casual speech at some point. You must be conscious of this.

And whether the conversation becomes lively or not doesn't depend on asking easy-to-answer questions, but ultimately on 'exaggerated reactions' being the key.

You find it easier to talk to someone who listens to you with a smile and nods along than someone who listens with a straight face, right?

The idea is to make the girl you're with feel that way too.

Also, you only need to express your interest in the other person about once during the date.

Overdoing it will actually lower your own value, so that's a no-go.

By the way, some of you might be wondering, "Shouldn't I use physical touch?"

Of course it's effective, but be careful not to overdo it on the first date.

Personally, I often don't even touch their hand on a first date.

When saying goodbye, I'll say, "Take care on your way home," while giving them a light pat on the lower back.

That much is just fine.

In fact, for those with less experience, being too aggressive is an instant deal-breaker.

For someone who says they like "kind people," the right approach is to show them a relaxed, gentle kindness.

At that moment, there is no need to feel anxious, thinking, 'I don't feel like the conversation went that well' or 'I'm not sure if I made an impression...'

Whether there is a spark is not determined by how exciting the first date was, but by whether they come on a second date.

Instead of overanalyzing the atmosphere of the date and letting it affect your mood, focus on securing the next appointment.

A first date is not about questioning skills, but about your approach.

If you can make them see you as a 'man' here, you win.

In my newsletter, I share more details on how to structure conversations to close the distance on a first date, as well as how to use natural physical touch.

'I don't know what to talk about on a date'
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