The person you are hardest on might be yourself.

The person you are hardest on might be yourself.

It is strange how we can be so kind to others.

When a friend fails, we say,
"It's okay. You can try again."
Yet, when we fail ourselves, we say,

"Why can't I even do this?"
"I knew I was no good."
We direct harsher words at ourselves than anyone else.
In fact, the person most of us hurt the most is ourselves.

The words you say to yourself shape your life.

In psychology, there is a concept called "self-talk."

Self-talk refers to the words you say to yourself in your own mind.

"I can still do this."

"This time just didn't go well."
People who use such words find it easier to turn failure into experience.

On the other hand,

"It's impossible now."

"I have no value."
When you repeat such words, your brain accepts them as reality, and you lose your confidence and drive.

In other words, the words you say to yourself are gradually shaping your own future.

Failing does not diminish your value.

We have grown up in an environment where we are evaluated by scores, rankings, and results since we were small.

Because of this, it is easy to feel that when you fail, your own value has decreased.

But that is not true.

What failed was an "action," not your existence as a person.

Even if your test scores are bad, your value as a human being does not change.

Even if you make a mistake at work, your worth as a person is not lost.

Results and character are two different things.

Once you can separate these, you can regain the courage to try again.

You can provide peace of mind to yourself, too.

Peace of mind is not something you only receive from others.

You can give it to yourself as well.

On a day you fail, say,

"I worked hard today."

On a day things didn't go well, say,

"I will acknowledge myself for having tried this far."

Just by saying such words to yourself, your heart will gradually regain its sense of peace.

A heart that feels at peace stops being defensive and begins to look forward and walk again.

Finally,

The person you will spend the longest time with in your life is yourself.

That is precisely why I want you to be the most reassuring presence for yourself.

"Even if you fail, your value does not change."

The moment you believe that, you can stand up once again.

People who can put others at ease are wonderful.

But I believe that truly strong people are those who can also provide peace of mind to themselves.