Chapter 6: Making Children an Attractive Option Column: The Role of a Parent Is Not Just One – The Importance of Having Multiple Perspectives

In child-rearing, a parent's role is not limited to just being a "parent." In fact, perhaps being too bound by the role of a "parent" is what increases the burden of raising children.

At work, I have the face of a manager; at home, I am a father; in my community, I am an event planner; and in other settings, I am the one who gets teased. I have realized that as my roles increase, the pressure of "being a parent" eases, and I can view child-rearing from different perspectives.

For example, there are times when I come home dragging the weight of a failure at work and feel depressed in front of my family. However, the next day, when I interact with children at a community event, I am encouraged by their smiles and pure words, which helps me shift my mood. If I only had the role of a "parent," I might have brought my work stress home and ended up affecting my children.

If you think of child-rearing as "the sole responsibility of the parent," the pressure only increases. However, when parents themselves belong to multiple communities and take on various roles, the emotional burden is dispersed.

In past societies, there was a culture of raising children as a whole community. Grandparents and neighbors watched over the children, and parents did not have to carry everything on their own. However, in modern times, there is a tendency to demand "child-rearing that is completed only within the family." This may be what creates isolated parenting and strengthens the sense of "parental burden."

If you feel that child-rearing is "heavy," it might be a good idea to find a place outside of your "self as a parent." It could be work, a hobby, community activities—anything is fine. The more roles you have, the less you will be bound by the role of a "parent." And perhaps that sense of ease will ultimately have a positive impact on how you interact with your children.

"The role of a parent is not just one." Thinking this way might be a hint to facing your children more easily and more happily.

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