How a Monthly Solo Retreat Changed My Life

I'm Arisa Oki, a freelance writer.

When people hear 'freelance,' they often have this image of someone 'working freely,' but unfortunately, for most of us—myself included—the reality is that the day ends while we're still chasing the tasks right in front of us.

About two years ago, I realized that things couldn't go on like this, and since then, I've been regularly taking solo retreats, either as day trips or overnight stays.


Whenever I tell people about this, I often get asked, 'What do you actually do?' or 'How do you spend your time?'

So, I've decided to write about these solo retreats once again.

What is a solo retreat?

I'm going to speak in very broad terms here, but I believe our human tasks and to-do lists consist of 'things that must be done immediately,' 'things that don't need to be done immediately but must be done,' 'things I want to do right now,' and 'things I want to do someday.'

A solo retreat is a day dedicated to focusing on the lowest priority item among these: '{things I want to do someday'.

What are 'things I want to do someday'?

'Things that must be done immediately' are easy to understand, right?

For example, work with a deadline coming up in three days.

So, what is the opposite of that—the 'things I want to do someday'?

For example, categorizing all my Note articles, turning a Note project I've been meaning to write but kept putting off into an actual article, organizing my camera roll, or doing some sales outreach... things like that.

It's about doing those things that aren't urgent but would be beneficial in the long run, or tackling things I've been meaning to think about but kept putting off because it was hard to find a block of time.

That is what a solo retreat is.

Rules for a solo retreat

Do not do it at home!!! This is a must.

I understand the temptation to do it at home since everything is there, but if you do it at home, you tend to end up doing chores you've been putting off or just doing regular work. So, for day trips, I go in with a strong mindset of 'I'm going to get my money's worth!'

Also, if possible, it's better not to bring a computer.

I have a Pomera, so I take that with me.

Simply put, a Pomera is a dedicated word processor that cannot connect to the internet.

I get the impression that it's often used by people involved in creative activities, but I take it with me when I don't want to use the internet but want to write more and faster than I could by hand.

Recommended places for a solo retreat

I'll give you the conclusion right away: my overwhelming recommendation is... TSUTAYA Share Lounge, and that's it!!!!!

Huh? A mainstream choice? Listen, it's not just any coworking space that will do. Seriously, I mean it. Share Lounge! Definitely, definitely!!

Now, I'm going to spend the rest of this piece explaining why this Share Lounge is so good.

Well... Share Lounge is expensive!

They are located all over the country, so it depends on the branch, but in Tokyo, a full-day pass is usually over 5,000 yen! My favorite branch in Marunouchi, 'TSUTAYA BOOKSTORE MARUNOUCHI,' costs 6,930 yen!

When a friend told me, 'You're kidding!? That's basically the price of going to Disn*y!', I replied, 'Exactly.'

However! A solo retreat requires a certain amount of strong willpower. This is because, as I mentioned in the original article, a solo retreat is not for "things that must be done immediately," nor is it for "things that don't need to be done immediately but must be done eventually," and it's not for "things you want to do right now," but rather a day to do the things you want to do someday.

You might think, "Doing the things I want to do someday sounds absolutely amazing, right?" But actually, it's not. Strangely enough, humans tend to keep putting off things that have been left aside as okay to postpone. The thought "It doesn't have to be today" probably gets stuck in your head.

That is why I believe a certain amount of financial investment is necessary.

Also, once you go to that space, you'll understand that you can use self-suggestion like, "If I'm in such a cool place, I can't just be sleeping!" or "I want to be the kind of person who deserves to be in this place!" This is another reason I recommend it.

By the way, in the case of the Marunouchi branch I mentioned earlier, it's 1,870 yen for one hour of all-you-can-drink soft drinks. A full-day pass is 6,930 yen, so if you do the math, you break even if you stay for 3.7 hours.

But still, 1,870 yen for an hour is like a slightly fancy lunch! If you're at Starbucks for an hour, it would only cost 700 yen at most, so it's still expensive, right? However, "TSUTAYA BOOKSTORE MARUNOUCHI" is actually open from 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM. That's a duration of 14 hours.

If you stay for the full time, that's 6,930 yen divided by 14 hours, which is 495 yen! So cheap! That's amazing! So, for those of you who are cost-conscious, I really want you to stay as long as possible.

By the way, the reason I recommend Marunouchi is because the bento boxes and deli items in the basement of the Marunouchi Building are delicious and amazing! (Hey, if there's demand, I'll report on the share lounges I've been to so far.)

Runner-up recommendation: Coworking-equipped spa

Please listen to this too! I am extremely knowledgeable about super sento (public bathhouses) not just in Tokyo, but in the entire Kanto region! If I had to pick just one among them... it would be Edo Yu in Ryogoku!

Their business hours are from 10:00 AM to 8:30 AM the next morning, with unlimited time for 2,970 yen. This facility does not allow elementary school students or younger. And you know, they have a coworking space called "Yu-work" separate from the relaxation area. Plus, it's divided into men's and women's floors! In other words, it's the perfect environment where you can focus to your heart's content after a bath without worrying about people seeing you without makeup!

It might also be a good idea to go with a friend and just focus on your work!

The flow of a solo retreat

Now, from here on, I will introduce the rough flow of a solo retreat.

Preparation: Pick out what you want to do during this retreat

I carry around a small notebook (currently an M-size Rollbahn) every day as a miscellaneous journal. I jot down "things I want to do someday" whenever I think of them, and I pick out things I can do during a solo retreat from that list.

For example, in this case, changing clothes for the season is not something to do during a solo retreat. That's something to do on a day off spent at home. Like this, I select what to do and what not to do this time. Then I prepare my belongings. (Because being rushed in the morning is not good.)

On the day ①: Start early in the morning

I recommend starting your activities early on the day of your solo retreat. The reason is that I have never succeeded by saying "I'll go in the afternoon!" Also, the tasks end up being half-finished. So, if you're doing it at a share lounge, the maximum rate usually kicks in after 5 hours or so, so go from opening to closing to get your money's worth! If you're staying at a hotel, I think it's best to go near the location in the morning so you can focus from check-in time until check-out time.

Day of (2): Write a schedule

Once you arrive at your destination, the solo retreat finally begins... but if you get caught up in just one task, you might end up feeling like you didn't get anything done at all, so I recommend setting a schedule.

For example, just recently, I went on a two-day business trip, and I set my solo retreat time from the moment I checked in until the time the lounge—which is like a coworking space on the front desk floor—closed.

Day of (3): Act according to the schedule

After that, you basically just act according to this.

The key is to include a buffer if possible.

In this plan, I set 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM for reading and 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM for an SNS meeting, with 30 minutes of free time.

During this time, it's okay to lounge around, finish reading at a good stopping point, or even start the SNS meeting early.

However, I recommend setting a loose rule that once that free time is over and it's time for the next scheduled item, you generally move on to the next task.

This is because when the day ends, if you feel like, 'I only got this much done,' you end up focusing on what you didn't achieve rather than the sense of accomplishment. Doing as much of what you need to do as possible gives you a greater sense of completion! The more things you want to do, the better that approach is.

Aside: The results of this solo retreat

So, you might be wondering, 'You went away for two days, what happened?' Since I bet everything on reading during travel time as well, here is a rough schedule and what I achieved.

So, in terms of what I accomplished, here it is:
・Read 3 books + started the 4th
・SNS strategy meeting
・Brainstormed ideas for a note
・Wrote one note using a Pomera

As for the work inventory, I didn't have enough preparation for that beforehand, so I decided to take half a day on a different day!

Why did my life change for the better?

When you are constantly chased by tasks, you sometimes lose sight of why you are acting and drift away from your original purpose.

But when you know why you are doing something, you know what you need to do. In fact, you can clearly see what you don't need to do as well.

For example, I am a writer who also takes photos, and for a while, I was debating whether to sign up for an annual subscription to Photoshop.

That's because my photography work had increased.

But did I really want to acquire retouching skills? In the first place, I'm okay with taking photos, but I don't necessarily want to pursue it, and I don't want to be a professional photographer, right? Then, if delivering photos straight from the camera is fine, isn't it better not to spend time on advanced retouching?

That line of thinking led me to re-examine the direction of my work. As a result, I have significantly reduced the proportion of my work that involves photography.

I am often reminded through my solo retreats—by periodically reviewing my work direction and taking inventory—that it is important to keep a fixed-point observation of what I want to become.

Furthermore, doing the things you've always wanted to do means you can clear out the tasks you've kept in the back of your mind, which frees up mental memory and allows you to use your brain for the things that really need your focus.

In conclusion

Lastly, do you remember the goals you set at the beginning of the year?
Are your 100 things you want to do still just a list you wrote down?
Are you leaving that vague, uneasy feeling unaddressed?

If there is something you want to do...
Where you are right now,
where you are aiming to go,
and what actions you should take to get there—please try to be conscious of these things!

▼ If you can't even spare a day, try this method instead!

If you have any questions or doubts about how to do this, what I reflect on, or my routines, please leave a comment!