Surrendering

Have you ever surrendered yourself to someone?

Surrendering is different from
being swept away.

For example, when you get your hair cut at a salon,
A: "I trust the manager's sense, so I leave it to them."
This issurrendering.

B: "Make it look good. Thinking about it is a hassle."
This is closer tobeing swept away.

In reality, the finished haircut for A and B
is almost no different,
but what is decisively different isthe direction of the heart.

In both A and B, you aren't deciding for yourself, but
A chooses to leave it to someone else.
B doesn't choose and is moved by the surrounding situation.

While Adecides not to decide for themselves,
Bends up decided for without deciding for themselves.

Both might look somewhat the same,
but you might understand if you think about whether there is agency or not.
It's like A has agency,
and B does not.

Now, based on this,
have you ever surrendered yourself?

Have you ever decided of your own will,
"I can follow this person. I can walk with them."

No, I don't particularly
"Surrendering yourself to others is wonderful!"
want to say something like that.

Since there is no single right answer in life,
a way of life where you decide everything yourself is fine,
and a way of life where you surrender to someone you trust is also fine.

However, if you have a partner,
and because you have become too close,
when you find yourselves clashing more often,

"Well, that's fine. I like this person, after all."

I want to say that it might be good to accept the other person's opinion,
even if you have your own opinion and aren't convinced.
Even if you have your own opinion and aren't convinced.

To talk a bit about myself,
I once tried to change jobs to a profession I wanted to enter.
Of course, I talked to my wife beforehand and got her approval.

And just when I got the job offer and was about to change jobs!
My wife put a stop to it.
When I asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"
she said, "Actually, I don't want you to change jobs."

What was that?
You didn't say anything like that.
Why are you saying such things now?
Besides, I already have a job offer.
...I thought about saying something like that, but I stopped.

"Hmm, I see. It seems I wasn't able to listen to your feelings enough. I'll stop."

This isn't because I got too angry and sulked,
or because I couldn't be bothered to think about it,
or anything like that.
And it certainly wasn't because I deferred 100% to my wife's opinion.

I deferred to my own heart.

Rather than forcing my way through using a momentary agreement as a shield,
I chose to acknowledge my own shortcomings.
I respected the side that the scales had tipped toward.

Well, although it ended up causing trouble for the company that gave me an offer
and the important people at the company I currently work for,
at the moment,
I don't have any strange sense of guilt left.
It's hard to say whether it was the right or wrong decision,
but I feel like it wasn't bad.

How should I put it? I think that if you only stay within your own "frame,"
even if you say "I'm doing my best! I'm taking on challenges!"
in reality, you can't escape your safety zone.

When an event that you cannot control yourself
appears before you, you decide for yourself to "give it a try" and jump in.
I like that way of living.