I'm tired of living while constantly reading others' faces... Why not start a life where you shine the spotlight on yourself in a sanctuary for your heart?

Who will be on the team tomorrow? Who will be the leader? Every day, I stare at the work schedule and mentally rehearse. 'I'm scared of being called out by this person,' 'I have to get there early so I don't cause any trouble.'

Back when I worked at the hospital, I was always fighting a battle before I even started my shift. I was so desperate to match the 'correct answer' that changed depending on the person that, before I knew it, I was exhausted not by nursing itself, but by 'trying to fit in with someone.'

'I don't want to be thought of as an incompetent nurse.' 'I'm afraid of being opposed.'

There is no waiting in the field of life and death. The difficulty of living while hiding yourself and nursing to suit someone else. In truth, I want to work in a workplace where we can share our opinions.

But, I wonder if that's impossible...

What saved me when I was about to hate nursing was the 'encouragement' of Adlerian psychology.

The day I realized the order was reversed

Encouragement that I was practicing in raising my children. It is an interaction to take a step forward and 'try' to solve problems. But, I had a huge misunderstanding.

I was prioritizing encouraging those around me and putting encouragement for myself on the back burner.

'Even if I'm struggling, I'll prioritize the patient in front of me.' That might be wonderful as a nurse. But, before I knew it, I had lost the feeling of living my own life.

Encouragement starts by first moisturizing your own heart's cup. It is something that fills those around you with the overflow.

'Let's turn the spotlight that was always on others toward ourselves'

That was my starting point.

'I see, I see, yeah' is a magic spell for yourself

For any emotion, first forgive yourself by saying, 'I see, I see, yeah.'

When you get angry at something a senior colleague said to you: 'It's natural to be angry, you were so busy. You were trying to protect yourself, weren't you?' and encourage yourself.

The moment the spotlight hit me, I finally regained the feeling of 'living my own life.' A place where I could acknowledge my own emotions as 'this is my correct answer' was created within me.

As a 'sanctuary for your heart' just for you

That said, for nurses who are good at prioritizing others, it takes practice to turn the spotlight on themselves.

'When I'm alone, I end up putting myself last.' If you are like that, please use this note as a starting point. Only when you read my posts, you can take off your mask of roles and gently embrace your true feelings. I want to be that kind of 'secure base' for you.

I can't take it anymore, I'm the only one working overtime, and no one helps me... It's okay to let out all those messy feelings here.

You have already worked hard enough.

Why not dream together from this sanctuary of a workplace where we can all enjoy the nursing we want to do while taking care of ourselves?

Please come and shine the spotlight on yourself whenever you need to. I'll be waiting for you here.

Sanctuary of the Heart | Collector of Feelings, Hiro

P.S.:
Please let me call my precious readers 'Coconers'.

Coconer is a coined term from 'Cocoon,' representing a safe base for the heart and a sanctuary.
People who warmly protect themselves and their peers, preparing to spread their wings someday.

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Click here for the article that became a turning point for me when I was suffering as a leader.