What was in my mind when I thought about moving

Things I thought about in my head regarding moving.

I want to move to Matsumoto, I want to live in Matsumoto.

When I thought that, I didn't really consult anyone.

I knew that even if I consulted them, I wouldn't get the answers I wanted, and my conclusion was already decided.
my conclusion was already decided.

But still, such a big decision.
I was anxious about whether it was okay to decide so easily.

To somehow make my decision positive, a debate was held in my brain.

1. No, even if you say that, you can only live in the city, right?

Yes, I can only live in the city.
I can't easily let go of the convenient life in the city.

An environment where things I want are immediately available.
An environment where things I saw on TV are right there.

But what is a convenient life?
What is life in the city?

A glamorous life?
The brand of Tokyo?

What do I need?
What is a convenient life for me?

What could it be?

I thought about it, but it was surprisingly simple.

There's a Starbucks, there's a Muji.
This is important.
Also, it would be nice to have a big bookstore and a movie theater nearby.

Matsumoto has the world-famous Aeon Mall.
Inside it, there is a Starbucks and a Muji. And of course, a movie theater.
There was a big bookstore in front of the station.
-> Yes, solved.

2. What about a car? The countryside is a car-dependent society.

The city has many train and bus lines, and
you can live without a car.
You can go where you want to go.
This is truly convenient.

I am a paper driver.
I am a true paper driver who hasn't driven once since my graduation driving test.

Even when I look it up, the bus service isn't that great.
If I don't choose where I live carefully, I'll probably have trouble with daily life.

→ Hmm, I'll think about this later. I should probably just take a refresher course for paper drivers or something like that.

3. What about clinic visits and counseling?

This is a major issue.
I am somehow managing to stay alive thanks to my current doctor and counselor.
I don't want to end this relationship if I can help it.
But I can get from Matsumoto to Shinjuku in less than three hours on the Azusa limited express.
Once a month should be fine.
Actually, rather than cutting off my ties with Tokyo completely,
I feel like I'll be able to take the plunge more easily
if I have the peace of mind that there are people I can rely on in Tokyo.

→ This is something to discuss with my doctor and counselor, but for now, it's resolved.

4. You're depressed, aren't you? Are you thinking clearly right now?

This is absolutely true.
I had almost no hesitation about moving,
but I felt anxious about this point right up until just before I moved.

However, the desire to live in Matsumoto
was something I had been thinking about even before I became depressed.

It was a dream I had before I became depressed.

So, shouldn't I be confident in my decision?

In reality, this is about all I actually thought about when it came to living in Matsumoto.

Although I feel a sense of loneliness about leaving the place I've grown accustomed to living in,

I surprisingly had no regrets.

More than that, perhaps I wanted to go somewhere far away where no one knew me
rather than staying here.

Maybe I just wanted to throw everything away because I became depressed,
ended up working in a way that didn't match my ideals,
was told terrible things during my return-to-work interview,
and grew to hate everything.

It was a bit of a reckless way of thinking, but

I cannot continue my current job.

In that case, maybe it would be good to try and make my dream of moving somewhere far away a reality.

I'm not married, and I don't have any children.

How free I am.

If I miss this opportunity, which I can only take now, I won't be able to fulfill my dream of living in Matsumoto.

That's what I thought, too.

I had told my father from an early stage that I was quite seriously considering living in Matsumoto.

Since my father's hobby is mountain climbing, he told me, "That sounds nice, I like Matsumoto too."

I had also casually mentioned it to my doctor and counselor, saying, "I'm thinking I'd like to live in Matsumoto."

They replied with something like, "That might be nice."

I was worried about what I would do if they rejected the idea, but surprisingly, everyone said, "That sounds great."

I started taking steps toward moving.

Thank you for the likes and follows. It is very encouraging.
It is very encouraging.

I have compiled my thoughts on moving into a magazine. I would be happy if you could take a look.