How to Be Happy: Reclaiming the 'Why'

The top image is of a 'Snow-on-the-mountain'.
Its flower language is 'curiosity'.

The white-edged leaves look just like snow,
and have a somewhat mysterious atmosphere.

Its appearance is such that,
without even realizing it, your curiosity is piqued,
wondering 'why is it like this?',
making it the kind of presence that makes you stop and look.

Curiosity is the heart's desire to know the world and oneself.
Today, I will think about happiness by starting to reclaim the 'why' that is born from such curiosity.

The 'Why' is Originally Born from the Heart

When I think back to my childhood,
'Why?' was a much freer word.

Why is the sky blue?
Why do I feel sad?

There was always,
a movement of emotions like surprise, wonder, or loneliness.
In other words, 'why' is not something you squeeze out of your head,

but a question that naturally arises when your heart is moved.

The 'Why' That Became a Tool Before We Knew It

When we become adults,
this 'why' changes its form.

At work,
it is used as a method to identify causes.

Asking repeatedly,
to find the root of a problem.

It is a very effective method.

However, in that process,

the parts that should have been there originally,
like 'why was I troubled?'
or 'why did I feel frustrated?',

the emotional parts,
are sometimes left behind.

Then, 'why' becomes,
just a task.

A 'Why' Without Emotion Corners People

A 'why' stripped of emotion,
sometimes takes this form.

'Why couldn't you do it?'
'Why didn't you check?'

What should have been a question,
becomes words of blame.

And before you know it,
what should have been a search for causes,
becomes a place to judge people.

What was originally meant for preventing recurrence,
turns into something that wears down the heart.

Returning Emotion to the 'Why'

So, what should we do?

The answer is simple,
it is to return emotion to the 'why'.

For example,

instead of just 'why did the mistake happen?',
try asking,
'where were you troubled?'

'what were you anxious about?'

Then, what you see will change.

Not just problems with the system,
but a lack of breathing room, difficulty in communicating,
or small feelings of discomfort.

Those 'human parts' become visible.

Changing the 'Why' Directed at Yourself

The same can be said for yourself.

When things don't go well,

if you think 'why am I so useless?',
it becomes increasingly painful.

But,
if you change the question to,
'where was it hard for me?'

'what was bothering me?',
instead of blaming yourself,
the perspective shifts to one of trying to understand.

This difference is very significant.

Connection to Happiness

Happiness,
is not born solely from being evaluated by others.

It is born when you properly feel your own emotions,
and are able to understand them.

Reclaiming the 'why' is not just about changing how you ask questions,
it is about touching your own heart once again.

If you can do that,

even on days when things don't go well,

you can remain yourself.

Summary

'Why' is a convenient tool for finding causes.
But originally, it is also,

a very human question that arises when the heart is moved.
If you are a little tired,
of your current 'why',

please try changing the question just a little bit.
Not to a 'why' that seeks correctness,

but to a 'why' that understands yourself.

Using them differently,
will soften your relationship with yourself.

And that,
will lead to a happiness that doesn't force things.

Books that influenced the writing of this article

I have summarized other 'How to Be Happy' flowers in the link below.
Please take as many as you need 🍀

Thank you for reading until the end.
I hope to see you in another article.
🍀 May you be happy 🍀