How to be happy: 'You don't have to cherish everyone'

The top image is a 'maple'.
Its flower language is 'precious memories'.

Changing its colors as the seasons turn,
and eventually scattering quietly,
it teaches us the importance of choosing what to keep,
rather than trying to hold onto everything.

Just as memories do not all carry the same weight,
relationships with people
cannot be treated the same way either.

Be kind to everyone.
Cherish everyone.

That may sound correct,
but it is a little detached from reality.

Both people's hearts
and time
have limited space.

So, in truth,
you cannot cherish
everyone equally.

To cherish, you must trim

'To cherish' does not mean
simply behaving pleasantly.

It means spending time.
It means directing your feelings.
Sometimes, it means offering your own spare capacity.

If you direct that toward everyone,
it will inevitably become thin somewhere.

That is precisely why, to cherish, you must 'trim'.
Decide who you will not be overly involved with.
Decide who you will keep at a distance.

That is not coldness, but a choice to protect the depth of your connections.

Prioritize your kindness

If you try to direct the same kindness to everyone,
the result is that it reaches no one deeply.

Instead,
use your time and feelings properly
for the people you truly want to face.
Kindness, too, has its uses.

Accept that there are people you will not cherish

Not cherishing everyone.

That does not mean
treating someone poorly.
It simply means
accepting that 'there are people I will place outside of myself'.

Do not try to force understanding.
Do not try to force being liked.

Because that boundary exists,
you can properly cherish the people who are inside.

Do not put yourself last

And one more thing.

In the discussion of not needing to cherish everyone,
the one most often left out is 'yourself'.

If you devote yourself to others while continuing to chip away at your own space,
that kindness will not last long.

Include yourself among those you cherish.
That is the prerequisite for continuing relationships.

Precisely because you don't have to cherish everyone

Just as the maple changes its appearance with the seasons
and chooses what to keep,
relationships with people are also things you deepen while choosing.

You don't have to cherish everyone.

When you decide that,
you can finally face the people you 'want to cherish'
properly.

You don't have to try to hold onto a wide circle.
Instead, hold onto them deeply.

The peace and trust born from those relationships
will turn the time ahead into 'precious memories'.

Books that influenced the writing of this article

Lessons on 'Drawing Lines' in Human Relationships

This is a book that reinterprets the cause of fatigue in human relationships
as 'ambiguity of boundaries'.
By separating where you end
and where the other person begins,
you no longer have to force yourself to carry everyone.
It teaches such perspectives in a practical way.

I have also compiled other 'ways to be happy' flowers
at the link below. Please take only what you need 🍀

Thank you for reading until the end.
I hope to see you in another article.
🍀 May you be happy 🍀