How to be happy: 'I'm glad I couldn't understand you'

The flower in the top image is a 'Blue Star'.
Its flower language is 'a heart that trusts each other'.

It is a small, clear blue flower.

People cannot fully understand one another.
Even so, we can trust each other.
We can stay close even without understanding.

That is why,
I feel I have been supported not by those who understood me better than anyone else,
but by those who stayed by my side without understanding me.
Thinking about such things,

I was gazing at the Blue Star.
♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎♧♣︎

'I want you to understand me'

I am sure everyone has felt that way at some point.

I was the same.
The more painful things are,

the stronger that feeling becomes.

But, when you think about it, it is selfish.
It is difficult to truly understand

what you have never experienced.

Whether it is a parent,
a spouse,

or a friend.
What you don't understand, you don't understand.
And yet, I

'wanted to be understood'.

Thinking about it now,
it was quite an unreasonable request.
Suppose there is

a slightly strange person.
Those around them

cannot understand such a person.
Sometimes they say insensitive things,

and sometimes they give misguided advice.
The old me

found such things unbearably sad.
There is no way they could understand my feelings.

But, I want them to understand.
……I am a handful, even to myself.

That is how I feel.

But now,

I have a slightly different perspective.

The people who support this incomprehensible, strange person

despite everything.
Perhaps that is something

that was only possible because they could not understand.
If the other person thought the same way as me,

suffered in the same way,
and sank in the same way,
we would have both been stuck in the mud together.

Because they don't understand,
they are not dragged down.
Because they don't understand,

they can remain bright.

Because they don't understand,
they can remain unchanged.

There have been times when I felt lonely
because they didn't come closer to my perspective.

There have been times when I wished
they would understand more.

Even so, now,
I think it was for the best.

Perhaps we
place too much value

on being understood.
What is truly grateful is

that even if they cannot fully understand,
'You are fine just as you are'
there are people who wish that for you.

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what I should do for you.
Even so, they do not abandon me.
That kindness

can be much greater than understanding.

That is why I think:

I am glad I could not understand you.

Because I couldn't understand,
I could remain myself.

Because I couldn't understand,
I could support you by your side.

Happiness, I thought,
is not something born only from mutual understanding,

but also from continuing to cherish someone
even without understanding them.

Books that influenced the writing of this article

'Man's Search for Meaning' Viktor E. Frankl

This book is a collection of the experiences of Viktor E. Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Nazi concentration camps.

The theme of this book is not 'being understood'.

Even so, while writing this article, I remembered 'Man's Search for Meaning'.

The words and attitudes of others, and the environment surrounding you, are not always under your control.

Even so, you can choose how to accept those events.

Instead of lamenting not being understood, look at the kindness of those who stayed by your side without understanding.

That perspective is one of the things I learned from 'Man's Search for Meaning'.

It is a masterpiece that makes you think about how to face your own life after you finish reading it.
I highly recommend it.

I have also collected other 'How to be happy' flowers
at the link below.
Please take as many as you need🍀

Thank you for reading until the end.
I hope to see you in another article.
🍀May you be happy🍀