How to be happy: 'Verbalizing your emotions'

The flower in the top image is a 'Lantana'.
Its flower language is 'change of heart'.

Lantana is a plant native to Central and South America,
and its Japanese name is 'Shichihenge' (seven changes).

Small flowers bloom in clusters, and they gradually change color to yellow, orange, pink, and so on. The name 'seven changes' was given because of this appearance.

Human hearts are very similar to Lantana.

What you were looking forward to in the morning makes you anxious by noon, and by night you think, 'Maybe it'll be okay after all.'

Emotions do not stay the same color.

That is precisely why I believe that giving a name to your feelings at any given moment is the first step toward knowing yourself.

'I feel kind of... off.'
It is a very commonly used, automatic, and convenient phrase.
But what is the true nature of this 'kind of'?
Anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration.

The inside of your heart is like
the 'earphone cable' you left at the bottom of your bag.
The moment you take it out,
it is surprisingly tangled.
If you pull on it forcefully,
the knots will only get tighter and you won't be able to turn back.
So, one by one.
You untangle the mess, saying, 'This is frustration,' 'This is anxiety,' 'Was this expectation?'

Verbalizing emotions is,
I believe, that kind of steady work.
Emotions that have been put into words become a little easier to handle.
'I wasn't angry. I was sad.'
'I wasn't impatient. I was just worried about whether the garlic from my lunch ramen would smell.'
Something like that (whatever that means),
once you know your current location, your heart calms down a little.

However, there are limits to verbalization.
Because we can only express ourselves
using the words we know.

If you only know the word 'happy',
relief, pride, and gratitude
all become 'happy'.
Conversely, if you only know the slang 'pien',
the sense of loss from a major heartbreak or a mistake at work
will all be processed with those four letters.
It is, in many ways, thrilling
for an adult to dismiss every tragedy
as 'pien'.

Therefore,
it is necessary to increase your 'vocabulary drawer'.
Increasing your words is knowing yourself.
'Ah, so this feeling was 'relief'.'
'This wasn't 'jealousy', it was 'envy'.'
In that way, the resolution of your heart
becomes clearer little by little.

Of course, not everything can be put into words.
There are tears that cannot be explained.
There are days when you are happy without knowing why.
There are people for whom the single word 'love'
is not nearly enough.
The parts that cannot be put into words
are also part of being human, I think.
Words are not knives that cut up the heart.

They are fingertips that untangle knotted cables.
Knowing words is knowing yourself.
That should become the foundation for a happy self.

Books that influenced me in writing this article

'Parenting Experience Record for Developmental Gray Zones: Emotion Verbalization Training' / Arai Kumatan

Putting emotions into words is not easy, even for adults. This book introduces practical ways to name emotions together with children, using gentle language.
'What is my feeling right now?'
Repeating such questions is a book that serves as practice not only for children but also for adults to know themselves.
Please check it out.

I have also summarized other 'ways to be happy' flowers
at the link below.
Please take as much as you need 🍀

Thank you for reading until the end.
I hope to see you in another article.
🍀 May you be happy 🍀