How to Deal with Self-Esteem to Become Happy 2

To those meeting me for the first time, and to those reading again,
thank you.
I am Clover.

Among the many articles lined up,
like finding a four-leaf clover by chance,
I hope to deliver small happiness and realizations.
I share my thoughts with that in mind.

I write under the theme of "investing to become happy."
Investment is not just about money.
Through investing in the mind, body, and heart, I value nurturing happiness for the present and the future.

Previously, I posted the article linked below.
I had it posted.

Because the volume became larger than expected,
it was posted in parts.
This time,
I will think about the continuation of
"How to Deal with Self-Esteem to Become Happy."

Review of the previous article

In the previous article,
I covered "general ways to raise self-esteem" and
"the difficulties of doing so."

General ways to raise self-esteem
feel logical.
However, in reality,
there were reasons why they could not be raised or maintained.

Repeating positive words doesn't last.
Being told to "learn to love yourself" doesn't resonate.
Even if told to accumulate successful experiences, there is no confidence to begin with.

Is it impossible to raise self-esteem?
No, self-esteem can be raised.

And that is not because you are weak.

Then, what is the real reason?

The real reason why self-esteem does not rise

To put it in one word,

"It is because there are too few tools to measure it."

Many people
measure themselves with only one or two "rulers."
• Work achievements
• Annual income
• Others' evaluations
• SNS reactions
• Children's performance

What if you stumble on these axes?

Your self-esteem collapses all at once.

But that is natural.

Because it is like standing on one leg.

The problem is not "confidence"

The problem is
not having your own standard of evaluation.

Society's average.
Company standards.
Parents' values.
The atmosphere of SNS.

You unconsciously adopt these,
and grade yourself on those axes.

That is why it is painful.

Averages can be a source of comfort, but
they do not guarantee your value.

For example, for those building assets,
are you not concerned about average income or assets on YouTube,
and feeling happy or sad by comparing yourself to them?

The answer considered by the Happiness Investment Notebook

The way to raise self-esteem is simple.

Increase your rulers.

It is not just about increasing them.

Please increase the rulers you have chosen yourself.

What happens when rulers increase

For example.

A day you failed at work.

But,
• Read for 5 minutes in the morning
• Listened to your child until the end
• Noticed your irritation
• Took a 10-minute walk
• Stopped wasting money

What if these were your evaluation axes?

It would no longer be "a bad day."

Even if one breaks,
there are still 9 left.

And because they are axes you decided yourself,
you will not be swayed by others.

Rulers are meaningless unless they are "self-standard"

This is the most important part.

Comparing with average annual income.
Comparing with the median of the same age group.
Comparing follower counts.

The moment you do this,
your ruler becomes someone else's property.

Self-esteem

is not "better than others"
but only grows by

"how you are compared to your past self."

How to increase them

How to increase them varies from person to person, but
what the Happiness Investment Notebook recommends is
to increase them from the perspectives of mind, body, and heart.
I will show you specifically.

① Increase your mental rulers

• Axis of learning
• Axis of awareness
• Axis of challenge
• Axis of consistency

"I learned," "I noticed," "I tried."
These alone become new evaluation axes.

② Increase your physical yardsticks

• I was able to walk for 10 minutes
• I was able to take a deep breath
• I went to bed early
• I noticed discomfort in my body

Taking care of your body is
the most reliable evaluation axis.

③ Increase your mental yardsticks

• I was able to observe my anger instead of swallowing it
• I was able to write down my anxieties
• I was able to admit my weaknesses
• I tried to forgive someone

Being able to handle your emotions is
a great asset.

The more yardsticks you have, the better

Because

people will inevitably stumble somewhere.

There are days when work goes well,
and days when things don't go well at home.

There are days when you are healthy,
and days when you are consumed by anxiety.

That is precisely why
multiple axes will support you.

For those moving forward from here

Self-esteem
cannot be raised by magic words.

It only grows through action.

Write in a notebook.
Move your body.
Observe your emotions.
Experience new worlds.

Only those who accumulate these things

will reach the state of

"I can measure myself."

How many "yardsticks" do you have?

If you only have two,
you just need to add one today.

That alone
will make your self-esteem harder to collapse.

Even so, you can't increase them suddenly.
It's hard to find your own good points.
I can almost hear you saying,
"That's why I'm struggling!"

So,
it has unexpectedly become a trilogy.


While including as many concrete examples as possible,
I would like to write next time about
"How to find your own axis from your shortcomings."

Books that influenced the writing of this article