My Child Might Be a Centaur [Short-Short Story]

My child might be a centaur

At our usual cafe, my mom friend sitting across from me whispered that.
She sounded a bit sigh-heavy and seemed quite troubled.

I ponder this.
A centaur, you mean that...?
The one with a human upper body and a horse's lower body, right?

No, but when I saw them the other day, I thought their lower body was human.
Is that something that happens later in life?
I just assumed it was something you were born with.
I wonder if my child is okay.
They wouldn't catch it, would they...?

I've never heard of a centaur, but that was definitely a centaur. There's no other way to describe it.

My mom friend said that listlessly while drinking her hot milk tea.

Centaurs are scary, aren't they?
By the way... is that contagious?

I asked casually.

Well, if you're together, you might get swept up in that atmosphere and catch it, I suppose.

My mom friend said in a light tone.

Oh no.
If it's contagious, my mom friend is in danger too.
That means there's a possibility that both me and my child could turn into centaurs.

I wonder if there's a cure.
What about clothes?
The horse part would surely be bare.
That means that part would be exposed too, right?
In the first place, I wonder if they could control six limbs in total, including their two hands and their front and back legs.
They definitely wouldn't be able to fit in a bathroom stall.
They'd have to go in the wild, surely.
If so, how would they wipe their bottom?
Would they flap their tail?
Where would I go to get their hooves taken care of? What does it feel like to have two backs?
My child might get teased for being a Sagittarius and stop going to school.
They wouldn't be able to ride a bike or drive a car.
But they'd probably be able to run fast.
Maybe it's good that my child likes carrots.

No, no.
I'm already thinking under the assumption that they'll definitely become a centaur.

I have to change the subject.
I have to get away from the topic of centaurs...

Speaking of which, the KFC nearby closed down, didn't it?

I interjected with some small talk in desperation.

That's it! That's the cause of the centaur!

My mom friend declared this, then stuffed her face with shortcake, looking as if she hated it.

No.
I don't know what it is, but I seem to have stepped on a landmine.
Still, what does the closing of a KFC have to do with becoming a centaur?
If that's the condition, my house is in danger too, without even needing to catch it.

But my mom friend doesn't have the lower body of a horse, at least not yet.
She has a bit of a horse face, but that probably has nothing to do with it... probably.
I have to find out the conditions for becoming a centaur... to protect my family.

"Hey, hey, what's it like to become a centaur? It's shocking, right?"

I ask, feeling nervous.

"Hmm, I don't know how it feels, but it's a bit creepy, isn't it? I just think if you don't have it, you don't have it, though."

My mom friend said that while finishing off her shortcake.

If you don't have it, you don't have it...?
She must mean the human lower body.
My mom friend has a very pragmatic personality.
If it were me, I'd definitely be clinging to my human lower body.

"To cure a centaur, you ultimately have to go to Kenta, right? I'm taking him to Kenta in the next town tomorrow."

My mom friend told me the cure so casually.
But I have no idea what she's talking about.
Still, I can't bring myself to like calling KFC 'Kenta'.

"W-why does going to KFC cure a centaur?"

I muster up the courage to ask.
My mom friend is looking at me with a blank expression.

"Wait, have you been saying 'centaur' this whole time? Like, the centaur with the horse's lower body?"

My mom friend looks like she's desperately trying to hold back laughter.
She's so rude, not even considering how I feel.

"It's not a centaur, it's 'Kenta-loss'."
"I'm suffering from loss because Kenta closed down."
"It's just a selfish craving because I want to eat it."
"There's no way it's a centaur, what are you talking about?"

My mom friend explains while giggling.
I was so embarrassed that I blurted out 'Horse-face!' at her and ran away from the scene.

And so, to create a fait accompli that centaurs actually exist, I took my child to the ranch.

My child is overjoyed.
Quietly sneaking up from behind

one person and one horse

cut them both in half

and stitch them together, and look...

Hehehe.

My child might be a centaur.