The Great King of Terror's Feelings

Have you ever heard the rumor that the Great King of Terror might be coming in 2025?

That one.

It's a lie.
Hahaha.

I heard it from a reliable source, you know.
They said he's already here, but he's not here.

Huh?
You don't know what I'm talking about?

He's already on Earth, but he says he's quitting being the Great King of Terror.
So you can rest easy.

Huh?
How do I know that, you ask?

Hmm.
I don't really want to say, but...

I am that Great King of Terror.

Hahaha.
Surprised?

Well, I didn't really intend to hide it.
I just thought everyone would walk on eggshells around me if I told them.

Oh, no, no.
I'm not that kind of bad guy.
I'm a harmless Great King of Terror, after all.

There was a huge fuss about me in the past, but I didn't do anything, right?
Nostradamus's prophecy was interpreted as“In July 1999, the Great King of Terror will descend from the sky”and the world was in total chaos.

I never said I was going anywhere, but everyone made such a big deal out of it, and the rumors were terrible.
I guess that's when I started hiding myself...
That's a painful memory for me.
The people making all the noise were much more like a Great King than I was.

It's true that I have the power to destroy the world.
But you know.
In 1997, I was obsessed with Pokémon, so there's no way I would do something like that.

In 2025, I'm having fun with note, so I won't go out of my way to destroy it.
Honestly... it's offensive to think I'd just go around destroying things indiscriminately.

It makes me want to play a prank and give you all a taste of terror.

Huh?
You want to know specifically what the Great King of Terror will do?

Hmm.
Let's see.

Everyone's sentences will end with "damon"
You'll only be able to blink one eye at a time
Your front teeth and back teeth will be swapped
Every time you walk, your heels will make a "boing" sound
You'll inhale through your ears and hear sounds through your nose
Soft-serve ice cream (chocolate flavor) will come out of your butt
Your pinky fingers will grow by 10cm
Everyone except me will stop being refreshing, making me the most refreshing person by comparison

Those are the popular ones, I suppose.
These will be applied randomly to all of humanity.
Order will be disrupted, and maintaining social functions will likely become difficult.

Heh heh heh.

Terrifying, isn't it?
A Great King, isn't it?

Well, I won't actually do it, though.
I think it would be a wise move for humanity to provide me with entertainment so I don't get any strange ideas.

Right now, you can avoid the crisis of human extinction just by liking this article and leaving a comment.
That's a small price to pay, isn't it?

When no one pays attention to me and my daily posts stop.
That is the day the Great King of Terror will descend.
Be careful.

Huh?
You say Zenkei-san isn't the Great King of Terror?
That I'm an evangelist of love?

Alright, let's go with that☆

See you later.

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“I might have gone insane if it were the cloth diaper era”
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