Amano Writing Club: 'A Careless Love'
I met you in a dream.
You welcomed me with a gentle smile.
Your room.
For some reason, it feels nostalgic.
Even though it should be my first time here.
...I see.
I've been here in a dream before, haven't I?
Because I'm always dreaming of you.
That's right.
In my dreams, you are my lover.
I often forget about it when I wake up.
But I've already been on many dates with you.
Eating together, watching movies, staying over in your room.
I've been experiencing things in my dreams that could never happen in reality.
I was thinking, if that's the case, doesn't that mean I'm going out with you?
In my dreams.
While I'm dreaming, I can only think of it as reality.
You laugh beside me, get angry, and sometimes worry about things.
I know so many sides of you.
Things I could only know if we were lovers.
I know. It's a careless love.
Something that can only be called a self-indulgent delusion.
But you know, I don't want to have my heart broken anymore.
The days of just watching the person I love walk by, snuggled up to him.
My heart screams when I hear him talk about your hot spring trip together.
Because there is only one of you in this world.
I think about stealing you away from him, but I can't shake the feeling that it's a losing battle.
Your happy smile as you snuggle up to him.
So, then, it's fine if the you who stays by my side is the one in my dreams.
Can't you forgive me for being that selfish?
Isn't it my freedom to dream whatever I want?
Sometimes, I wonder.
The you who appears in my dreams is a you created by my brain, and in the end, isn't that just me?
The way you act spoiled, the kindness in your smile, your slightly sulky attitude, the sorrow when you look down in depression,
Everything is a product of my imagination.
The real you isn't there. Am I in love with myself?
Even so, that's fine.
I don't care anymore.
If a miracle were to happen in this careless love of mine, I would want to remember every dream as a memory.
As proof that you and I were together.
Oh, call me creepy or whatever you want.
No matter what others say, the you in my dreams would never make fun of me.
Because you are exactly as I imagine you to be.
I have participated in this project.
Thank you for your consideration.