The story of how I, who never sticks to anything, kept worrying about the same thing.

No matter what I try, I can't stick with it.
I think to myself, 'I failed again.'
I have repeated that cycle so many times.

Looking back since I was young,
I studied social welfare, aimed to be a nurse, and gave up.
Even after spending money on certifications, I quit halfway through.
Even for my bridal flower certification,
I paid a lot of money, but I couldn't fit in, stopped going, and quit halfway through.
Even the chance for a contract position I finally grabbed,
I let go because I was worried about other people's eyes and the environment.

It's the same recently, too.
Even though I got my Financial Planner Level 2 certification, I can't take the step into the job.
Handmade crafts, costume making, studying psychology, too.
I try to do them, but I stop halfway.
Every time that happens, I think,

'Am I just choosing not to change?'
'Am I just running away because I'm scared?'

And then, I blame myself again.
There is a part of me that feels somewhat comfortable in that state.
I hate this cycle, yet I'm still in it.

So, why can't I stop?
I've started to understand a little bit.
It wasn't that I couldn't change, but that I was afraid to dive in deep.

And above all,
I didn't believe in myself.
'Won't it just end halfway again?'
'Won't it just not work out anyway?'
Thinking that way, I was the one putting on the brakes.

So, is there a way to break out of this?
Honestly, I'm still in the middle of looking for the answer.

But there is one thing I'm going to try.
Instead of 'doing it properly,'
'Accumulating small things I can finish.'
If I keep doing that,
I feel like the way I see myself will change little by little.

I would be happy if this reaches someone who is worrying about the same thing.