“Don't Impose Your Version of 'Clean' on Me”

Working in housekeeping, I often find things quite difficult. That is when personal differences in what constitutes 'clean' clash within a household.

For example, here is a conflict that might arise over dirty dishes left in the sink.

Here is a conflict that actually happened in a home with a baby.

Besides these, there are things like hair tangled in the bathroom drain, white spots on the bathroom mirror, shoes overflowing from the entryway shoe cabinet, when to put leftovers back in the fridge, and so on...

None of these are about who is wrong or right; they are simply clashing because the 'standard of clean' that feels comfortable to each person is different.

In relationships with strong bonds and close proximity, like family—relationships where you can forgive each other even if there is a slight lack of consideration—I feel it is necessary for both sides to accept each other, compromise, and continue searching for a mutually optimal solution. What is needed for that is dialogue between family members.

However, when family members try to talk things out on their own, it can sometimes turn into fighting, arguing, or clashing opinions. That is why I think our existence as 'housekeepers' is actually very convenient. Just having a 'person from outside the family (to put it bluntly, a stranger)' in the space where the discussion is happening can make the debate much milder.

When discussing the standard of 'clean' for both parties, I am always conscious of acting as a mediator between them as a housekeeper.

“Your opinion is wrong.”
“That way of thinking is unreasonable.”

Such rejecting opinions can make the person being told feel sad, or cause them to get defensive and reject the other person's opinion more than necessary. It creates a situation where someone gets hurt more than they need to be.

But isn't what's needed a process of confirming one by one how to find an optimal solution for both, rather than baring emotions and saying whatever comes to mind?

And even the rules you derive from talking might fade over time, or you might feel like something doesn't quite fit after putting them into practice. At times like that, it's fine to just let it slip to your housekeeper, and sometimes things can be communicated more smoothly through athird party than by telling the other person directly.

If you can use housekeeping in a way that is convenient for you like that, then that is fine. While our job as housekeepers is to 'substitute' for 'housework,' since we have gone to the trouble of meeting, I would feel a little lonely if it ended as an inorganic relationship.

Please know that I am not your enemy;
I hope to continue working as a housekeeper as a familiar neighbor who can think about your family with you, support you, and rush over when you are in a bit of trouble.

“Don't impose your version of 'clean' on me.”

If only I could increase the number of families who can explore the shape of their future together, rather than using such sad words.

Thinking that, we are visiting someone's home again today.
The End.