The Story of How the President of a 'Black' Limited Company Was 'White', and the Boss at a 'White' Corporation Was 'Black'

I once held a position as the 'key administrative staff' in a department of only one person at a truly 'black' (exploitative) limited company, run by a president who would say, 'Prioritize work over your family, okay?' I felt like I had been half-tricked into taking this administrative job.

I had applied for a job opening for 'photography assistance' and went through an interview with several other people. I did think, 'Why am I the only one being grilled with such deep questions?', but it seems they were digging into my skills and grit as 'human resources'.

The person who had worked as the key administrator for many years was leaving due to pregnancy and childbirth, and I was placed in that position as her replacement. I received a direct handover of the work from the person leaving, but there was no way this was content that could be handled by someone who 'didn't know a single thing about the company.'

'Um... am I in the right place? My job description... I applied for a photography assistant position... and I've only done photography assistance once.'
'Oh, that? We intended to decide who would take this position from among the people we lured in with the photography assistant job from the start, you know?'
'What?! ...Um, this place... I don't think this is a department that a newcomer who doesn't know the company's internal affairs should be handling...'
'Hmm, yeah. I think it's difficult, but please try your best. Since the president chose you, I can only hand over the work...'
'I see...'
Because I was so persistent in questioning, 'Is this really work for a newcomer?' the president sat me down face-to-face and said this firmly.

'I don't expect you to be able to do it the same way as someone who has been involved for over 10 years. You can learn the work little by little. It's okay, it's okay.'
'President... on what grounds...'

The female president laughed it off heartily and went off to do some buying.
The president is almost never in the office.

Even though I, a newcomer, often have occasions where I need to ask the president for a decision, she often doesn't answer the phone, and when she goes abroad for buying and sends a message saying, 'I'll be on a plane at such-and-such time,' if I don't get all the decisions for the day's work during the 10-minute phone call before that, my work just piles up and up. There's not enough time... time to finish today's work today... I would tell my colleague of the same age, 'There's no way I can do this job...', only to be brushed off day after day.

'I understand how you feel, but I can only tell you to do your best. I'll help you with what I can, so just do your best, okay?'
'Can't you and I swap jobs now, Ma-chan?'
'No way.'
'Ma-chan, you know more about the company and the president than I do, right?! Please, I'm begging you~ Talk to the president~'
'The president has been avoiding you lately, hasn't she, Chito-san? Come to think of it, she said that because you keep chasing her around asking things, 'that girl follows me around so much'' she said.'
'She leaves the office as soon as she gets here! I don't have anything I can decide on yet, but she immediately says things like, 'I'll leave it to you~'. It's impossible! No matter how you look at it!'
'The other day on the second floor, she said, 'that girl is so persistent when I'm in the office, so I'm leaving'' she said.'
'That's ridiculous, isn't it?! My meetings with the president are like 15 minutes long! I call and call and call and she doesn't pick up! And when she finally picks up on the fifth try, she's laughing, you know? She's doing it on purpose, isn't she!'
'Well... that's just the president for you~ hehehe'
'This is no laughing matter... I'm telling you I can't do it...'
'I think you're doing fine, Chito-san~'
'In what way... I'm worried every day if this is the right answer... I'll probably be writing my resignation in three months.'
'Oh, you say that every time~'

'Um, President... do you have a moment?'
I cut in while we were alone on the stairs while I was chasing the president as she went back and forth between the first and second floors.
'What is it? You're scary, being so formal.'
'I didn't think it was necessary to say it during the interview, so I didn't, but actually, my second son has a developmental disability, and spring is the critical time for various administrative procedures for support. The next year is decided by how much the parent acts in the spring. So, please give me time off when necessary over the next four weeks. I will definitely make up for it with my work, and I will act in advance so as not to cause any trouble.'
'I see. I didn't know you had such circumstances. You know, when I say to prioritize work, 'saying you can't work because of family is just an excuse'' is what I mean. The reason for not being able to do the work is not in the family. In fact, I was a full-time housewife too. It's not that 'you can't balance' the work here; in fact, you're doing it, right?'
'Yes, I am.'
'So, your way of thinking is fine. If you want to take time off, I mean that I want you to 'think with work as a priority'' when it comes to the method. If you want to take time off for your children, I'll give it to you. If it doesn't interfere with work, you can take it. And I won't fire you because you have a child with a developmental disability, and I decided to hire you by looking at you yourself. You can trust me on that, okay?'
'Yes, thank you very much.'
'My, you're so bright and carefree that I thought you hadn't had any hardships, but you've actually had quite a few, haven't you~'
The president laughed heartily as she walked into the office on the first floor.

About two years later, it was during a lunch break when the president happened to be in the office.
'Whoa!!! A call from someone I don't want to talk to!!!'
I couldn't hide my surprise that there was a call from my brother on the mobile phone I had taken out.
'Chito-san, you're funny~ Who is it? Someone you don't want to talk to?'
'My brother.'
'You don't like your brother?'
'When I get a call from this guy, it's when he wants me to clean up his mess... I hate it... What has he done this time... It's never anything good... Since calling me is his last resort, it means something terribly bad has happened... Should I ignore it...'
'Are you okay?'
'He's probably calling me because things are not okay.'
'What are you going to do? Chito-san?'
'Hmm... I'll try calling him back after I get home... It's not something that can be settled with a quick chat, I'm sure.'
When I was having that conversation with my seniors in the office, the president urged me like this.

'It might be an emergency, you know? Why don't you call him back? Why don't you just listen to the content now? Then you can think carefully about what to do after you get home.'
'Sigh... I hate this... Should I do it... Should I call him back... I hate it—'
The president laughed heartily at me as I steeled myself, despite my reluctance.

'What?! Oh, yeah... yeah... I understand... let me think for a moment...'
Everyone in the office who had been listening to the phone call between my brother and me froze.
Because I hung up the phone while trembling.
'Chito-san...? Are you okay? What happened?'
'Um... my brother says... my younger brother's child died... and he asked, 'Can you come home?'...'
'Whaaaaaat?! What do you mean?! Why did they pass away?!'
'That's... I don't know anything... My brother asked my younger brother if he should call me, and it seems he said he wanted him to call me...'

From then on, the president directed all of my actions.
'You, call your younger brother first.'
And the president turned to her PC at her desk.
'Where is your hometown?'
'Miyazaki...'
I answered while calling my younger brother.
'It's no good... my younger brother... he's not answering the phone...'
'Either he's not in a situation to answer the phone, or he's not in the right state of mind, one or the other.'
'Oh... what should I do... I...'
'The earliest flight has seats available in the 14:00 range. If you go home now, can you make it?'
'Oh... I wonder... It's no good... I can't think, my mind is blank...'
'Are you listening? Think about what you should do first. You're going to get on a plane, what's before that? Before you go home, what are you going to do?'
'Um... contact my husband.'
'Do it.'
'Yes.'
'Ma-chan, go withdraw 150,000 yen from the office bankbook. Jun-san, go upstairs and check what work is absolutely necessary while this girl is away for a while, and how much of it there is.'

When I finally stood up after sitting on the floor trembling and calling my husband, the president patted my shoulder and said this.
'Are you okay? First, prepare to go home. Don't worry about anything, everyone will cover for your work; this is the result of the work you've done. Just let me know when you've settled down after returning to Miyazaki, okay? You can do it after you've settled down, no need to rush.'
The president made the decision to lend me 150,000 yen of the company's money so that I, who was poor, could go home without worrying about travel expenses, saying, 'You can just have it deducted from your salary in an amount that isn't a burden,' all within 5 minutes.
She waited until I, who was flustered and had a blank mind, steeled myself, and when I decided on my own actions, she laughed and sent me off from the office.

When I returned to Miyazaki, my younger brother was exhausted, and even though he was acting as a father and the head of the family, he was also somewhat weak, as if he were about to disappear.
As an older sister who knows her younger brother's mental weakness well, about two days had passed without me being able to sleep, wondering what I could do for him.
My mental state must have reached its limit, and before I knew it, I was crying my eyes out in the washroom while talking to my husband on the phone.
'Oh? What's wrong?' my father came to hug me first.

'There, there, there, lend me the phone? Who are you talking to?'
'My husband... Muu.'
My father patted my back and said this to my husband.
'She hasn't slept for about two days, so her mind must be at its limit, and she must have felt relieved talking to you. What do you think I should do with her? You've been watching Uma (my younger brother) closely lately, right? What do you think is the best thing to do?'
My husband apparently said this to my father-in-law.
'Please let her do as she likes. Uma lives as she thinks, so no one can do anything about her.'

My biological father heard that and said to me.
'Why don't you leave this house for a while? Go to your brother's house, sleep soundly, and then come back. And you know, act on intuition. Even if you think and act, things don't go well for you; you're more like yourself when you act on intuition.'
'Oh... yeah...'
And my father, who called my brother, told him, 'It's better to let Uma sleep, so let her sleep at your house,' and I was forced to sleep in my brother's guest room, being told 'Just sleep,' but I couldn't sleep at all. There's no way I could sleep, because my mental state was abnormal.

When I looked out the window from the guest room, I saw my mother, who had been brainwashed by a religion.
The figure of my mother who had abandoned my father and my high school brother and chosen religion.
The only one among my blood relatives who had cleanly cut ties with her, me, her daughter.

'Mom.'

I felt like it had been a long time since I had called this person that.

I hate my mother and reject her, but the fact that this person is my mother cannot be changed.
'Give me a tissue.'
My mother, who hasn't been able to hold a proper conversation since being brainwashed by the religion, still has enough maternal instinct to throw a box of tissues to her daughter, it seems.

While blowing my nose with the tissues my mother threw at me, I cried out loud.
And sitting on the edge of the window, I said this to my mother who was watching her daughter cry, to a mother who I didn't even know if these thoughts would reach, while crying and sighing.

'Sigh... it's painful. It's painful. It's really painful...'

There was no subject, no object, and no words to describe what was painful.
It's just that everything in this moment is painful, for me.
I just wanted to know how you would feel as a mother when you can't do anything for your daughter who is enduring that pain, not that I wanted you to help me.

My mother just muttered, 'It's painful, isn't it...' and shed tears.
Even knowing it was an act, I wished that at least the emotions deep in her heart when she shed tears were real, and I truly gave up on this mother.

If you were a real mother, now that your son, whom you abandoned in high school, is most hurt, you should have gone to the house where your divorced husband and youngest son live, without caring about appearances, and hugged your son, shouldn't you?
Instead of trying to get on the good side of a daughter who insults her mother and plotting for me to reconcile with my younger brother, the first thing you should do is hug your younger brother, prepared to be insulted by me.
Why must I find out at this timing that you have become a mother who can't even do that? God, if you exist, aren't you being a bit harsh on me? I've already suffered enough, haven't I? Is there still a need to suffer? At this point?

My tears dried up, I left my brother's house and returned to my parents' home.
And to act correctly on intuition, I first called the president, while crying. The president laughed it off, answered the phone, and checked, 'Are you eating properly?'.
'From now on, I will eat properly. I want to give him that time, as it seems I can extend it by up to a week so that I can be with my younger brother's child's funeral for as long as possible. He hasn't returned from the police autopsy yet, but can I have about two weeks off?'
'Yeah, that's fine. Stay there. Are you okay?'
'Yes. Right now, it's just painful. There's nothing fun, but the actions I should take have been decided. I'll just do that.'
'Yeah, you can do it. That was tough.'
'President, it's difficult and impossible to express in one word, but thank you for everything.'
'Yeah, I know. Sleep properly and eat properly, okay?'
I thought there was no one more reliable than the president, who laughed heartily and hung up the phone. I had always thought I had gotten a job at a terrible 'black' company, and when I first started teaching work to newcomers, I would start with the preamble, 'Our company is a terrible black company in many ways~,' but the president's humanity was 'whiter' than any company I had worked for until then.

While working at this 'black' limited company, I contracted an intractable disease, resigned to undergo inpatient treatment, and after years passed, I got a job at a 'white' corporation that is by far the number one in my work history.

Because I was promoting a personal work-style reform that didn't hide my Bon Odori dancing, my direct supervisor was at a super-super-super-super white corporation that made arrangements so I wouldn't have to work overtime, prioritizing my Bon Odori dancing in the summer.
When explaining why they hired me, saying "I said I wanted you," my boss told me, "It's because you were sick."

"Because you're sick, I think you have more of a desire to do your best than other people, and that's the kind of person I want. I want you to work here for a long time without pushing yourself too hard. So, you must never push yourself, okay? You can always take a day off when you're feeling unwell; I want you to work here for a long time."
Saying that, my boss would grant me leave for my poor health without a second thought.
And when I did my work efficiently, they would admonish me like this.
"Chito-san, you're fast at your work. Please do it more slowly."
"I intend to be doing it slowly... I'm doing it after checking everything thoroughly, but was there some mistake?"
"No. There are no mistakes, but... this company doesn't seek speed in work. We seek accuracy. I want you to get into the habit of working slowly in order to be accurate."
"...Yes."
In my previous job handling complaints, I was often required to work speedily and without mistakes, so my senses were numbed. Being told to work slowly for the sake of accuracy made me feel flustered, thinking (The way this white company thinks is crazy...).

About two years passed since then, when my cousin, three years my junior, passed away suddenly while on a business trip.
My rural hometown in Miyazaki is a village society where the main and branch family system remains strong, and the bonds of the extended family are deep. The organization of cousins is just like a company, and the relationship is closer than that with parents or siblings.

I contacted my supervisor to take leave as usual.
Up until then, I had always contacted my direct supervisor for leave and never contacted the company directly, so my direct supervisor was my point of contact.

My direct supervisor's reaction to me telling them I was returning to my hometown of Miyazaki due to my cousin's sudden death, and that I had returned without knowing the situation yet, was cold. Since I had turned off my phone during the flight, I tried my best to reply to my supervisor's response of "I'm troubled that there is no contact" while hiding my agitation in the midst of not grasping the situation, but the text blaming me for my faults drained all my energy.

Even though I was at fault for not being able to contact them immediately, the thorns in the words I received right after losing someone who was like a younger brother to me were extremely painful.

"He's just a cousin, right? Usually, bereavement leave for a cousin is one day, isn't it? If you take such a long break during a busy season, there's no point in having hired you."
Being told that and having the souvenir I bought at the airport thrown back at me,
"It's normal to contact the company, isn't it? Your boss is A-san, so you should have contacted A-san and the company, that's normal, right?"
And, just as I returned home, heart torn to shreds and barely alive, my husband delivered the final blow.

"The people at your company were saying you're weird, too. They said, 'Who goes to a funeral for a cousin? Normally.'"

What is normal? What is normal?
The 'normal' you guys are talking about is sinking a wounded person into the bottom of a valley right now.

"For me, it's normal to attend anyone's funeral. Everyone lives by their own standards, so the outsiders should just be quiet. I will return to Miyazaki no matter who dies; if there is a moment where my returning can provide healing, I will return. I have no intention of changing that. Is the death of one human being that light? There is no 'normal' or anything when it comes to grieving the death of someone close to you. I am quitting my current job. I don't need a single opinion from the people at your company. I'm fed up with people who can't stand by someone in death, and I don't want to be near such people, so I've decided right now to quit. I'll quit my job, go back to Miyazaki to help Takashi, and even if I come back, I will never work with Kansai people again."

Even if I'm called because there's a wedding in my hometown, or called for some celebration, I never return home. When I, who went to Kansai, return home, it is always when someone has died. That's why sometimes, when I return home when no one has died, people are surprised and ask, "Who died?!"
I believe my role is there.
The fact that I, who wouldn't return even if called and called, go out of my way to return, becomes a healing for people whose hearts are hurting from the death of a relative.
When people are happy, they are happy even if you leave them alone, so you can leave them alone.
You should know without thinking when it is that you shouldn't leave them alone.
I am a Japanese person who effectively uses money and hugs.
I return home to hug relatives who are hurting.

When I told my direct supervisor that I was quitting, and told them that I would find a successor so that there would be no hindrance to the work, and that I intended to take responsibility and teach them all the work before I quit, my direct supervisor said they wanted to apologize for taking a terrible attitude and saying terrible things.

I was certainly hurt by my supervisor's words and attitude, but I don't want them to apologize. In terms of business, my supervisor's opinion is quite reasonable. In terms of business, the fact that this supervisor's opinion is correct means that I am the one who should leave this white corporation. Because I always return home when a relative dies. I don't think I am needed in a company composed of employees who cannot stand by that. Because there are plenty of replacements for me.

"I want you to come back. How much time do you need? How much time do you want to spend with your younger brother?"
When asked the reason for quitting, I said, "I'm quitting because I saw my younger brother, who is divorced, in tatters at my cousin's funeral, and I want to support him until he can get back on his feet," so my direct supervisor asked about that period.
"I think I need about two years. But even if I return to Kansai, I don't think I will work anymore. The person I will introduce was a junior at my previous job, and she is more capable than I am, and I will teach her all the work I learned before I quit, so I don't think there will be any need for me to return. Please train her, thank you."

The female president of the black limited company is a second-generation Korean resident in Japan, and my direct female supervisor at the white corporation is Japanese.

In Miyazaki, there are Korean residents in Japan who have naturalized and have Japanese names, and Korean residents in Japan who live with Japanese names while remaining Korean nationals, who are close to us.
Culturally and genetically, Korea and Miyazaki are close.
Miyazaki people are big, and there are many words in the Miyazaki dialect and Korean that have the same pronunciation.
Those who were born and raised in Japan speak beautiful Japanese with good pronunciation, and unless they reveal it themselves, you wouldn't know what their nationality is.

Among the minors I interacted with in Miyazaki, where I grew up until I was 18, there were people with Japanese names who were hiding the fact that they were Korean nationals. In Miyazaki during the late Showa to early Heisei periods when I was a student, discrimination and prejudice were still blatant.

However, many of the minors who helped me when I was a student were Korean residents in Japan. It was the Korean residents in Japan who didn't deny me when I expressed the right path as right according to my own standards, and it was the Japanese who denied me. Of course, I think it depends on the humanity of each individual, and it's not that all Japanese were negative, nor that all Korean residents in Japan helped me.
However, when I was a student, when someone helped me unconditionally, when they saved me without calculating profit and loss, it was a natural act for me to ask that person's nationality. That is how much I have the fact of having been saved by Korean residents in Japan.

The Korean residents in Japan who help me never reveal their nationality on their own.
When we are alone, I suddenly remember and bring it up like this.

"Hey, by the way... what's your nationality?"
I can see them brace themselves for a moment.
"My parents'... nationality?"
From this way of answering, I know they are not Japanese.
Japanese people don't have the awareness from the start that their parents' nationality and their own are different.
"No, your nationality."
People who have Japanese language ability to the extent that it does not interfere with daily lifeotherwise they do not meet the requirements for naturalization application, so in households that live only in Korean and have their children interpret Japanese, the parents have not applied for naturalization, but that is two generations before our generation.

Our parents' generation often came to Japan when they were small, brought by their parents, or are Koreans born in Japan. Therefore, if their parents applied for naturalization and became Japanese nationals, their nationality should be listed as Japanese.
The reason they cannot answer immediately when asked about their nationality, even though their nationality on paper is Japanese, is because they have been receiving education for generations about "where their motherland is" and "where their roots are." What nationality they are aware of ismy question.

There is not a single Miyazaki person who clearly answered their nationality to my question.
However, I said this to them.

"You know, there is always someone who helps me. Many of the people who save me when I'm in trouble are Korean residents in Japan. That's why I asked,where is your nationality?. I think I can trust Korean residents in Japan who hide their Korean nationality more than Japanese people who are proud of being Japanese. I don't think this way of thinking will ever change in my life. It's a fact I've actually experienced, so there's no way to change it; when there's backing for actions, there's no way to change it."

People change and grow with the times.
I don't believe we will ever live in a world completely free of prejudice or discrimination based on nationality.
There are differences in race and gender, as well as culture and language, and everyone thinks differently; with as many truths and correct answers as there are people, it would be stranger if prejudice and discrimination didn't arise.

Why not just direct that prejudice and discrimination toward understanding people instead of hurting them, and use it as a catalyst to spark interest by thinking, 'That's interesting'? That's why I'm asking, won't you have a dialogue with me?

I'm not talking about trading insults, nor am I talking about glossing things over with harmless small talk; I'm asking, won't you have a serious, honest dialogue with me? Most people turn me down, though. Why?

Since I keep getting turned down when I ask for a dialogue, I have a high rate of being thoroughly disliked, but thanks toa few rare weirdos who persistently like me,my days are incredibly fun.

To all you weirdos, thank you for loving me.
I live only for you.
Well, that's a lie, though.