Keeping Your Distance from Those You Hold Dear

Isn't it true that the longer you live, the more difficult human relationships become?
The longer I experience life, the more I cannot help but feel that way.

I could even go so far as to say that if you can build harmonious human relationships, your life will become brighter.

I received such a hint from coucou-san's article.

I would like to focus on the "desire for unity" mentioned within it and write down my own thoughts.

"Cooperation" is not "dependency"

Sometimes I encounter people who misunderstand this.

If someone assumes that just because you are friends, they can rely on you one-sidedly for everything without any intention of cooperating from the start, can that really be called a friendship?

I think they are just pushing the word "friend" to the forefront to justify their dependency.

The closer a relationship becomes, the more "dependency" disguised as "cooperation" tends to arise.

For example, if you join the same company through the introduction of a friend from your student days, you might end up seeing parts of that friend you didn't want to see, causing you to lose interest in a friend you previously loved, and turning your "like" into "dislike" all at once.

It becomes a phenomenon where flaws become visible.

Things change when you step back

In short, the root cause of the phenomenon where flaws become visible is that you have expectations, and
the root of all evil lies within yourself.

There is a possibility that things can improve depending on your own mindset.

Even if it is a friend whose flaws you have seen, if you keep a certain distance, let go of your "expectations," and try to re-evaluate the friend objectively, your perspective may change, and in some cases, you can return to a good human relationship.

There is nothing more troublesome than "expectations." Basically, when you have "expectations," if they are not met, you end up feeling an overwhelming sense of betrayal.

"Expectations" are also a form of "dependency."

People you just can't deal with

This is just my personal opinion, but there are types of people I simply cannot be friends with.

Those who do not admit their own faults and absolutely cannot apologize. are those people.

I think having high pride is a good thing.
I believe that if a person doesn't have pride at their core, they cannot form the policies that are the foundation of their personality.

However, if that pride is self-centered, there is no room for negotiation.
You cannot build a relationship beyond that.

There are some saint-like people who will serve such individuals with all their heart, but I haven't reached that level of enlightenment, so I feel it's a waste of time to associate with that type of person, and I cut ties with them completely.

How well you can cultivate your pride determines the establishment of your own humanity.

Acknowledging each other's individuality

Whether it's friends or family, even if there are some difficulties in their personality, if you can acknowledge them as their individuality, you should be able to have a smooth relationship.

Things get complicated because you try to make everything conform to the ideals you envision.

Such ideals are just your own selfishness, and not something to be forced upon others.

That is exactly what an unnecessary "desire for unity" is.

If you are ever lost in making a decision, I think you should return to the starting point of asking yourself what you think, and decide based on the pride you have cultivated.

Even if it's a friend or family member, you should be able to cooperate by acknowledging them as an individual, rather than expecting things from them and depending on them.

I believe that keeping a distance helps to let go of excessive expectations and allows you to re-examine one's true individuality.

The secret to good relationships is that keeping them neither too close nor too far is just right,

-Keep a distance from those you hold dear-

This is a major lesson I have learned in my small life.

That said, I do feel like I failed at raising my children, though...

In my previous postarticle, when I passed on thedialect article baton, Miwa Yagi accepted it with a Hiroshima dialect version.

Tetsuo-san accepted the baton with a comment entirely in the Nagasaki dialect.

Both have a very nice ring to them, and they are incredibly charming and wonderful~
Thank you for your cooperation.✨