Whether or not you get a response depends entirely on you

I like Japanese history.

However, I almost never talk about it passionately to others.

This is because I know most people will be put off, and even if I am very interested, I can sense that the other person is not at all.

If you think from the other person's perspective, there is nothing more troublesome than having someone talk passionately about a topic you have no interest in.

With people I don't know well yet, I start by testing the waters with light, harmless topics to find out where our mutual interests lie.

From there, even if their reactions differ—some people don't respond at all, some respond a little, and some respond enthusiastically—at least the direction of the conversation with that person becomes clear.

So, I have thought of my own way to deal with this so that the conversation doesn't become one-sided.

People who respond when you reach out

Conversations with these people are truly lively. Since we both listen well to each other, questions keep coming up, and the conversation expands from those questions.

It starts with a casual remark I or the other person makes in the conversation, and how the other person responds to it is crucial, as it influences the subsequent topics and our relationship.

Once we resonate with each other, topics naturally emerge, and our world expands.

Furthermore, it doesn't just stop at talking when we meet; it can develop into working together on something based on those topics, increasing the things we share.

When that happens, you are already taking action toward a clearly defined goal, and if that continues, it can go beyond the bounds of mere friendship and develop into something closer to being comrades.

People who don't respond no matter how much you reach out

Conversely, there are people who don't give anything back no matter how much I test the waters.

To be precise, they do acknowledge what I say, but that's all, so the conversation doesn't develop any further.

Of course, there are no questions, nor are there any related topics.

For such people, I think it's best to give up on talking about hobbies and stick to visible, immediate topics.

Talking about the weather is fine for everyone, isn't it?

If they are colleagues at work, talking about work or even a little complaining about a boss is fine. If they are fellow parents, talking about child-rearing or cooking works.

In any case, it is best to stick to harmless and trivial common topics.
There is a possibility that resonant conversations can be born from such trivial talk.

Forcing your own views on others is strictly prohibited.

People who only talk about themselves one-sidedly.
People who twist other people's stories into their own.

I get fed up with this.

I have already given up and just focus on nodding along.
Since they have no intention of listening even if I try to say something, I don't try to force a conversation.

I just think, 'The showtime has started,' and act as a member of the audience, completely turning into a listener.

I think that affirming and liking yourself is a very positive and good thing, but
I think this type of person is simply forcing their own stories on others, which is completely different.

Conversely, for those types who want to talk, it can be said that the secret to improving the atmosphere is to bring up a topic first and let them talk to their heart's content.

How to make a conversation relatable and resonant

Whether or not it resonates might also be caused by yourself.

At the stage of the initial 'jab,' how you both read the room will greatly influence the subsequent topic.

For example, Sakamoto Ryoma, who was active at the end of the Edo period, left this assessment of Saigo Takamori:
He is a person who resonates greatly if you strike him greatly, and resonates slightly if you strike him slightly.
a remark he left behind.

Sakamoto Ryoma's expression is quite accurate, so I can imagine Saigo Takamori's personality.

This must have been a way of speaking that resonated, and a way of listening that properly resonated.

That is an attitude that can only be achieved if you properly listen to the other person's story and understand its essence.

Conversely, there are some small tips for the speaker to ensure they resonate with the other person.

If you start talking from the beginning of the event, just like the order of 'introduction, development, turn, and conclusion,' and tell a long story from a point far away from what you want to say, the other person will not know what you want to say, and even a resonant story will fail to resonate.

In the worst case, you might even lose track of what you wanted to say in the middle of the story.

To make a story resonate,starting with the conclusion, or the point you most want to make,is probably best.

If you can resonate with the other person with that first word, you have hooked them.
After that, you just need to add the introduction, development, and turn.

Miwa Yagi's article conveys that very point succinctly.
When I read this, I nodded and thought, 'Exactly!'

Rather than just dismissing it as a matter of good or bad chemistry,
it is necessary to make an effort to listen well to the other person and respond in a way that resonates,
and to be able to communicate the main points properly and speak in a way that makes an impact.