What have you loved since you were a child? | Happy Writing Marathon #25

For the past few sessions, the prompts have been about thinking about the things we love.

Expressing, singing, writing—.
Even if the genres or the degree of involvement change, I feel once again that it is a truly happy thing to have something I have been able to continue for so long.

And since just answering this would likely end in a few lines, I would like to try writing from a slightly different angle this time.

Gratitude for what I have been able to love and continue

It is difficult for people to continue doing things they 'dislike' for a long time, even without being conscious of it.
Even when choosing a job, we are ultimately able to continue because we 'can do it' or 'there is an element of liking it'.

As for me, when I was in my teens,
'It is better not to make your favorite thing your job'
was a belief strongly ingrained in me, so I chose my first job based on 'safety' rather than 'liking'.

The reason I am now able to live almost entirely by doing 'only what I love' is thanks to

• the benefits of stock options from my time as a corporate employee

• my family who understands and supports me

• the friends who create music with me

It is precisely because of this support.

Even if the beginning of 'liking' was my own,
the reason I have been able to continue is thanks to the people I have met.
That realization is always in the back of my mind.

Even if you love something, there are times when you cannot face it with all your might

Thankfully, I now spend my days surrounded by what I 'love'.
Even so, there have been many times when I could not face it with all my might.

Before COVID, I collapsed from illness due to stress, and my performance activities were limited due to long-lasting stomach issues and nervous enteritis.

A few years before that, I fell down the stairs while returning home for my mother-in-law's funeral, and there was a moment when it crossed my mind that 'I might be sent off right alongside my mother-in-law'.

I once took part in a competition while covered in bruises and using crutches, only taking them off while on stage.

In recent years, due to the stress of the pandemic and aging, I gained weight, and there were days when I spent most of my time lying down due to knee pain.

While more and more people are surprised that I am still continuing my performance activities,
it would not have been strange if I had become unable to continue at any time.

That is precisely why I am deeply grateful that I can still continue to sing.

The root of the reasons for not being able to take a step forward or continue

Even with things we love, we often find it hard to take the first step or keep going.
I believe that at the root of this, in many cases, lies 'fear'.

Worries are endless, and there are few people who can say everything is perfectly fine.

I have also been able to continue doing what I love in the end, but
there were many times when I couldn't give it 100% of my effort.

Even so, the reason I managed to make it this far

might be because I cherished what I love, without being too greedy or pushing myself too hard, and
carefully accepted the opportunities I was given.

Sometimes I do push myself to work hard, but
I think I have basically valued a 'form that I can continue at my own pace'.

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