Dictionary of Three-Year-Old Speak

To my son who has turned four

Congratulations. Your back, which I saw after your bath, looked so small yet somehow so reliable that I was moved to tears. What is this? This feeling. I don't quite understand it, but I've compiled here the mysterious words you, my ever-growing three-year-old, used to say. So that I won't forget them someday.Compared to when you were twoyour vocabulary exploded, so it took longer than I thought. Please forgive me.

From Dad

01. "I picked my nose and a huge booger came out"
First of all, this is the long sentence you managed to say with perfect grammar for the first time.

02. "Is it poop, is it poop, is it poop"
And this is the first haiku you ever recited.

03. "I was able to lose"
Sorry for all the vulgar talk right off the bat. Well, you are just like your mom, a natural-born sore loser. When you lost a game against me, you would be unbelievably frustrated. In the end, you powerfully declared, "I was able to lose." What a positive thing to say. I was so impressed and overwhelmed. You win.

04. "I'm a junior preschooler now"
Since you really don't want to lose, even when playing rock-paper-scissors, you would specify, "Dad, play scissors." When I played scissors as told, you would proudly thrust out a rock. When I praised you by saying, "You're strong," you would put on a smug face and act like a senior, saying, "I'm a junior preschooler now." I hope I can become a junior preschooler soon, too.

05. "That baby is crying, you know"
Even a strong junior preschooler like you was scared of vaccinations. Still, as you came out after the shot while barely holding back the tears that were about to spill over, you saw a two-year-old friend crying next to you and whispered to me with a smug expression, "That baby is crying, you know." Looking down on someone a year younger.

06. "Barely saved"
Even a big brother like you still had accidents. One night, you suddenly turned bright red and started straining. When I asked, "Did you poop your pants?" you shook your head vigorously and replied, "Barely saved." What was that "bu" sound? Yeah. You leaked a little.

07. "Penis refreshed"
When you managed to pee without leaking, you started laughing happily and saying, "Penis refreshed." Because of that, I got scolded by your mom, who said, "You taught him weird words again, didn't you?" False accusation.

08. "Shark"
You really wanted to be a member of the Sazae-san family, so when I asked, "What sea creature name are you going to choose?" you answered without hesitation, "Shark." Run, Katsuo.

09. "Piyo piyo piyo piyo!"
You would often treat me as an enemy and try to defeat me in earnest. When I fought back saying, "I won't forgive you!" you would face me with an even more intense look, shouting, "Piyo piyo piyo piyo!" Why a chick? Cute. I'm defeated.

10. "How!"
Every time I asked, "How does the food taste?" you would answer energetically, "How!" You seemed to think that was the ultimate affirmation. It was so adorable that neither your mom nor I could correct you. In fact, we started asking "How?" at every opportunity. Just to hear your "How!" One day, I tried asking, "How about Dad?" You immediately replied, "Not how!" Thank you for the ultimate negation.

11. "I'm kind of worn out"
You stopped asking me to "carry me" directly. Instead, you started using indirect expressions to convey that you were tired and to beg for a carry. For example, saying things like, "I'm kind of worn out." That's a bit too tired.

You would also round off your complaints about not feeling well by saying, "I'm not in good shape," or blame your feet instead of yourself by saying, "My feet seem to have stopped," or threaten me on the stairs by saying, "I'm going to fall now," to get me to carry you. That touched me even more, and I walked down the stairs with you in my arms, savoring every step.

Even when you wanted to sleep with me, you would open the door to my office without question, point to my glass in the bedroom, and scold me strictly for some reason, saying, "Come and drink your water properly!" I went to sleep with you in my arms, savoring every night.

12. "Today was really fun too"
When I was putting you to sleep, I once let out a weak complaint as if talking to myself, saying, "Things don't go well every day." Then, you whispered to yourself in my arms, "Today was really fun too." And then, you closed your eyes and said "Goodnight" with a little fart. As if to say that such worries are like wind. Thanks to you, I felt strangely refreshed.

13. "Dad, the bath is baked"
Whenever the bath we take together was ready, you would tell me this. I hope I can return alive.

14. "Bacon"
When I asked, "What scent of bath bomb should we use today?" you thought for a while and answered, "Bacon." It seems you really want to grill something.

15. "Dad has boobs on his tummy"
When we finally took our clothes off in the dressing room, you were worried that I didn't have boobs on my chest, so you comforted me by saying, "But Dad has boobs on his tummy."

16. "It's going to turn purple"
Unfortunately, there was no bacon scent, so I put a citrus bath bomb in the tub and we were soaking in it when you suddenly looked down. When I asked, "Did you pee?" you answered shyly, "Yeah. The bath is going to turn purple." What did you eat?

17. "Sour milk"
When I was having a drink after my bath, for some reason you brought me a beer and said, "Here is some sour milk." Please bring me some Seirogan too.

18. "Lemon is stinky!"
Sitting next to your father while he had his evening drink, you held your juice and began your first-ever food review: "Let's try drinking this right away." After taking a sip, you commented with a look of pure delight, "Oh, the lemon is stinky!" Let's just ignore the 'stinky' part for now. Besides, that's peach juice.

19. "My eye got swollen"
You got a few new illnesses this year and grew stronger again. For example, conjunctivitis. As you muttered, "My eye got swollen," you dimmed the lights in the room, held a handheld fan in your right hand and a glowing, spinning light you bought at Disneyland in your left, and with great resolve, pressed the switch and held it up to the heavens. As if praying, "May the pain go away." The scene was so psychedelic that even the viruses seemed to fly away in retreat.

20. "Kora-kora" and "Koro-koro"
You called 'hora-hora' (look here) 'kora-kora.' You'd say, "Kora-kora, look-y here (look-y please)," as if you were scolding someone. And you called 'soro-soro' (it's about time) 'koro-koro.' You'd say, "Koro-koro, let's play," as if you were rolling around. So, when bedtime approached, you would announce to your father, "Kora-koro koro-koro, it's 8 o'clock."

21. "Rock, paper, scissors!"
Having learned hide-and-seek and rock-paper-scissors around the same time, when your father called out, "Ready or not?" while you were hiding, you jumped out energetically shouting, "Rock, paper, scissors!" Found you.

22. "One, two, three, go!"
Your announcements while playing with trains were a bit unique. After saying, "Now departing," you would start with, "One, two, three, go!" I wouldn't mind commuting on a train like that.

23. "Woof"
When I asked you, while you were playing with a stuffed dog with a huge smile on your face, "Do you like doggies that much?" you nodded vigorously and replied with a "Woof." It was clearly more than just 'like'.

24. "Your teeth are a bit mushy"
Before bed, you put on your toy stethoscope and said, "Please open your mouth." When I did, you gave your diagnosis: "Oh, your teeth are a bit mushy. Please drink this injection." When I asked, "Will I be okay?" the great doctor replied, "You're already cured. You have four teeth, too. Goodnight." Goodnight.

25. "I'm an ogre!"
With two empty capsule toy containers on your head, you attacked me, pointing your round horns and shouting, "I'm an ogre!" Your father couldn't help but open his arms and wait. Please, poke me as much as you like.

26. "No, it's not"
Unfortunately, you had another 'Papaya' (Daddy-hating) phase this year. When your father tried to tease you by asking, "Didn't Daddy buy you this toy?" you got angry and insisted, "No, it's not (it's not)," claiming that "I" bought it myself. Debunked.

27. "You have to be careful"
Before your father, who was writhing in pain after stepping on a screw from the toys you left scattered, could say, "You have to clean up properly," you scolded him, saying, "You have to be careful properly." Debunked again.

28. "Daddy-finger"
One day, an inconvenient truth came to light during your 'Papaya' phase: you were calling your own little finger by your father's name, "[Name]-finger." When your father smiled and said, "I'm always by your side, so don't worry," you looked embarrassed and started picking your nose with that very finger. Stop that.

29. "Meat-nic"
When the weather got warmer, you became obsessed with picnics. Even so, you couldn't quite say 'picnic' yet, so every weekend you would insist on inviting Mom and Dad outside to "have a meat-nic." Thank you for the meaty spring.

30. "Tea?"
Taking on your first urine test, you looked at Mom, who had caught your pee in a cup, and asked curiously, "Is this tea?" If anything, it's 'former' tea.

31. "They were born, huh"
Whenever you saw a baby in town, you started staring at them with deep emotion, saying, "They were born, huh." Every time, your father would also stare at you with deep emotion, saying, "That's right. They were born, huh."

32. "I don't like it"
You couldn't say 'hate' yet, so you said 'I don't like it.' I wonder when the day will come when you'll say, "I hate you, Daddy," directly to my face.

33. "Pai"
Your unit of time was 'pai.' For example, you called '20 minutes' '20 pai.' Your space-time is made of 'pai' (breast milk).

34. "Bear!"
One night, you shouted, "Bear!" I turned around in a panic, only to find a tiny spider. I thought my heart was going to stop.

35. "I got kuppri-ed"
You said 'kuppri-ed' instead of 'bikkuri-ed' (surprised). And you said it with such a 'kuppri' (surprised) face.

36. "I forgot-ed," "Thanks for waiting-ed," "Make-ed"
You said 'wasureta' (forgot) as 'ware-suteta.' Or you said 'omatase shimashita' (thanks for waiting) as 'otamase shimashita.' By the way, you called 'tsukuru' (to make) 'kutsuru.' Like when you said, "Daddy, let's kutsuru blocks together." Our house is full of mysterious industry jargon.

37. "Hana-horou"
Having seen your father's habit of resting his chin on his hand and thinking, "I see," you started resting your chin on your hand and thinking about things by saying, "Hana-horou." You look like you're about to come up with a brilliant idea.

38. "Hello"
You loved drawing, and every time you drew a new picture on your sketchbook, you would shyly say "Hello" as a greeting. It was too precious.

39. "Rocket"
You called your pants pockets "rockets." Like when you said, "Put it in my rocket." Your potential is cosmic.

40. "Pakoyoka""Hasubeppy"
You called "tapioca" "pakoyoka." I hope a "pakoyoka" boom arrives someday. By the way, you called "spaghetti" "hasubeppy." If I ever see that on a menu, I will definitely order it.

41. "Karada Dandara Dandan"
You loved to dance and would often dance while singing "Odoru no Pokorin" instead of "Odoru Pompokolin." By the way, for the song "Karada Dandandan," you danced to "Karada Dandara Dandan." Such a brilliant and unique arrangement.

42. "Tomorrow next time"
When you were only touching Mom's bottom and I told you, "You can touch Dad's bottom too," you gently declined by saying, "Tomorrow next time." When you were only kissing Mom's cheeks and I told you, "You can kiss Dad's cheeks too," you gently declined by saying, "Tomorrow next time." You had mastered the art of the polite excuse.

43. "Mom, strange!"
Even though you loved Mom so much, you would sometimes get angry and say, "Mom, strange!" It seems it meant "Mom, you're weird!" You didn't seem to have the courage to say the full word "weird" yet.

44. "Snake's snake"
Your first impression was also "snake." When Dad did an impression of a gorilla, you didn't want to lose, so you joined your index fingers together in front of your chest and proudly said, "Snake's snake." You win.

45. "What's that skin?"
You asked Mom, who was wearing a face mask, "What's that skin?" Thanks to you, Dad now sees Mom wearing a face mask as a piece of fresh spring roll.

46. "Knife Tower"
Whenever you saw Tokyo Tower in the city, you would shout happily, "Knife Tower!" Thanks to you, Dad now sees the tower stretching high into the sky as a giant knife. How ominous.

47. "Money Vault-san"
When we moved into our new home, you called our neighbors "Money Vault-san." Thanks to you, Dad now sees our neighbors as safes. Rest assured, there is nothing ominous about that.

48. "Gondorin"
When autumn came, we often went to pick up "gondorin." You would run up to me very happily saying, "I found a gondorin!" while holding an acorn.

49. "I want to be with black"
You started to be particular about your clothes. On a day with heavy rain, you insisted on wearing your black shoes, and when Mom and Dad tried to get you to wear your rain boots, you powerfully declared your resolve to stay with them by saying, "I want to be with black." Your first elopement.

50. "Becoming yellow"
One morning, you suddenly looked out the window and quietly whispered, "Becoming yellow." As if you were looking into the distant future. I hope you become the best yellow in the world.

51. "Drinkable thing"
You called a "drink" a "drinkable thing." Dad really loved the sound of that. I wonder why. It has such a Heian period charm.

52. "I helped"
You would stand next to Dad while he cooked and watch YouTube on the iPad. Then, later, you would proudly tell Mom, "I helped." Thank you for the secret ingredient.

53. "Please help meee"
I heard your voice from the living room saying, "Please help meee." I rushed over to find you standing in a half-crouch with your pants covered in poop. You looked so adorable that I almost hugged you from behind. That was a close one.

54. "Osu-nano!"
When I taught you the karate straight punch with "Osu! Osu!," you started thrusting your fist forward powerfully saying, "Osu-nano! Osu-nano!" Gold medal.

55. "Dano"
Your usual sentence endings were also unique, and for a while, it was "dano." Like saying "sodano" instead of "sonano." Mom and Dad loved this "son-speak."

56. "To-to-omotte"
By the way, you said "to-to-omotte" instead of "to omotte" (thinking that). Like when you said, "I was thinking of drinking milk." I wonder if this accent will disappear someday.

57. "Is it there or not?"
You also said "Is it there or not?" instead of "Is it there?" Especially when doing spot-the-difference puzzles at Saizeriya, it was a parade of "Is it there or not?" and you would keep looking for things that were the same instead of the differences, saying, "This and this are the same too." There was no end in sight.

58. "I'm out of gas," "Full speed ahead!"
When you were thirsty, you would replenish your fluids by saying, "I'm out of gas." And once you were full, you'd take off at full speed again, shouting, "Full speed ahead!" Because you used to answer Mom and Dad's "Let's go!" with "Full speed ahead!" whenever we went somewhere by car, that phrase became your only signal for departure.

59. "I did it next week"
You thought "last week" was "next week." You would always report, "I did such-and-such at kindergarten next week," as if you were predicting the future.

60. "You gotta do it"
Instead of saying "shinakya" (you have to), you would admonish someone by saying "shina-cha." Like, "Daddy, you gotta throw your tissue in the trash properly." Maybe I even left tissues out on purpose just to hear you say "shina-cha." Maybe a hundred times.

61. "Poop"
This might be a given, but once you were potty trained, you started letting me know right before you went by saying "Poop" with a desperate look on your face. I never knew there could be such a cute "poop" in this world.

By the way, when you had diarrhea, you added variety by telling me, "It's a dangerous poop." With a fearless smile on your face. It really was dangerous. Beyond help.

62. "Poop-kun"
Speaking of poop, the morning after you played with a friend, you cried and cried, saying, "I want to play with Poop-kun again today." His name is Junki-kun.

63. "His Majesty"
One day, you suddenly started referring to yourself as "His Majesty." The shadow of Baikinman creeping in.

64. "L"
When you started learning hiragana, I taught you, "This is 'shi'," and you replied with a pronunciation so native it sounded like "L." Why?

65. "Ta-da!"
You started showing me the boogers you picked with a "Ta-da!" A surprise.

66. "Oopsie!"
You got hooked on shouting "Oopsie!" and laughing out loud. Your attitude was so positive that Mom and Dad couldn't help but laugh too. It made me feel like failing wasn't so bad after all.

67. "Oh well"
Your catchphrase during those positive times was "Oh well." Even when you wet the bed, you laughed and said, "Oh well." It wasn't really okay at all, but for some reason, it felt comforting. Eventually, it became Dad's catchphrase too.

68. "Kukkabuk kukkukkabuk"
You made up another mysterious original song this year. You sing it in a bossa nova rhythm: "Kukkabuk kukkukkabuk." I hope you'll play it for me again someday. Maybe on an autumn night, while we're having a drink together.

69. "So I don't get nervouth"
The day before your recital, you lined up a bunch of toys as your audience and started a final check of your dance. When I asked, "What are you doing?" you answered with a very nervous look, "I'm practicing so I don't get nervouth." You looked so earnest that I couldn't help but cry, even though the real performance hadn't even started yet.

70. "Daddy's battery"
You were being strangely sweet, so I asked, "What's up?" and you shared a secret: "Daddy's battery is in today." I laughed and asked, "What kind of battery is that?" as you shyly hugged me. I'll take a million of those, please.

71. "Let's become babies and go see him"
Looking at a photo of your grandfather, whom you'd only met when you were a baby due to the pandemic, you said thoughtfully, "Let's become babies and go see him." That's right. Let's go see him when you're a big boy. Someday, definitely.

72. "No-no-no"
You were supposed to be long past your "terrible twos," but you started saying "No-no-no" to everything. The arrival of the unexpected "No-no-no" phase.

73. "Let's finally go take a look"
Even in this "No-no-no" phase, you were always excited to go to the supermarket. When I told you at the entrance, "Today, let's look at various things instead of toys," you replied with your eyes sparkling, "Yeah, let's finally go take a look," and dashed off. Straight to the toy section.

74. "It's the right way-way"
When we approached an intersection in the car, you started navigating: "It's the right way-way at the next light." Even when it was the left way.

75. "Look! A ladder!"
Whenever you spotted a ladder while driving, you started letting me know: "Look! A ladder!" As if it were a major event. Thanks to you, I feel like I've become a bit of an expert on the ladders in our town.

76. "Burger"
You started calling your grandmother "Baaba." But if you listen closely, it's actually "Burger." Grandma hasn't noticed at all, though.

77. "Everything is a penis"
Having reached the peak of your penis obsession, you eventually started shouting "everything is a penis." A state of enlightenment.

78. "I'm already 4"
Since you'll be 4 soon, you started lying about your age, saying "I'm already 4." Proudly and with your chest puffed out. Even at the Disneyland ticket counter, where it's free until you're 3.

79. "Oh, it's kindergarten"
Every time a picture of the University of Tokyo appeared on TV, you would inexplicably mutter, "Oh, it's kindergarten." A 3-year-old Todai student has arrived.

80. "Seed"
Despite your supposedly high intelligence, you called the "bones" of your favorite chicken wings "seeds." As if you could plant them in the dirt after eating and they'd grow back. I hope you develop that new technology someday.

81. "○○ Old Man"
You called "○○ flavor" "○○ old man." "Strawberry old man," "orange old man," "melon old man." Thanks to you, these flavorful old men kept appearing one after another, and I never got bored. I especially hope to meet the "chocolate mint old man" in person just once.

82. "Buy?"
When you rode the Shinkansen for the first time, you pointed at the "Nozomi" train and asked your father, "Buy?" He didn't have that kind of capacity.

83. "Very lovely"
One day, you said, "Very lovely." Where did you learn such a lovely word? When your father asked, you pointed to your own bottom as if it were obvious and said, "Here." Very lovely.

84. "I thought of a good kid"
Whenever you had an idea, you didn't say "I thought of a good thing," but "I thought of a good kid." I hope you continue to be a good kid forever.

85. "I'm here!"
Sometimes you would happily announce your presence to your father and mother by saying, "I'm here!" Yes. Stay right there. Forever.

86. "I'm already rolling"
When your father was busy with work, you would often sulk by rolling around on the floor, using the unique expression, "I'm already rolling." So your father decided to roll along with you. I stopped caring about deadlines altogether. Sorry.

87. "Let's play tent"
I think this is one of the things you said most often as a 3-year-old. You loved playing tent by covering yourself with a futon before bed, and you always invited me to "play tent." Every time, your father would lift the futon from the inside with both legs to become the pillar supporting the tent. While shaking his abs until you said "the end." I think I'll train my body more so I can be a better tent.

88. "It's okay"
This is something only I can understand. Every morning before drinking coffee, your father would always ask you, "Is it okay if I drink coffee?" You would always answer "It's okay" in your own way, and your father would casually reply, "Yay." I loved this trivial exchange so much. I don't really know why. I'm sure I'll keep asking you every morning. Until the day you say, "You're so annoying, just do whatever you want." Even if you do say that.

89. "Father"
One night, you suddenly called me "Father." Your father was speechless at this unexpectedly early development. Father, please, let me be your Papa for just a little longer.