The Pre-processing of Derision

Deep within the words of sarcasm,
loneliness sometimes lies submerged.
Deep down, one wants to connect with someone.
Deep down, one wants to be acknowledged.
However,
one cannot say "I am lonely,"
nor can one admit to feeling "envious."
So, one lowers the other person just a little.
"Are you really happy about something like that?"
"Usually, people don't do that, right?"
The moment those words are spoken,
the heavy emotions inside feel a little lighter.
Perhaps that is a form of emotional pre-processing. However, when night falls and one is alone,
only those words remain.
Why was that the only way I could say it?
Even though I was supposed to be laughing at the other person,
deep in my chest, I am laughing at myself.
And then, I sneer, "This is normal."
Being unable to honestly rejoice in someone else's joy.
Being unable to call someone's beauty
beautiful just as it is.
Being unable to hold loneliness as loneliness,
and instead turning it into words that hurt someone else. Sneering at that and saying, "That's just how the world is."
Yet, deep within that sneer, there may also be the loneliness of a single human being.
Even though I really wanted to be kind.
Even though I really just wanted to laugh together.
Only the emotions that could not be put into words
remain in a form that hurts someone else.