[Poem 231] The Center 974

When you are lost in doubt,
try placing what is most important to you
at the center.
Is it worth pursuing
even at the cost of losing that?

#Poem #FiveLinePoem #Center #Middle #Attachment #Love #Choice (5/15)

*********************************

I had a friend who was very straightforward when it came to love.
She must still be out there somewhere, though I wouldn't know.


To me, the idea that almost every aspect of life could be dominated by romance was something that only happened in novels, dramas, or movies, so my friend's existence was a surprise.
This isn't your first love, is it?
Just as she has her own life, don't you have your own life too?
You have a job, don't you?


If she wants it, I don't mind aligning my entire self with her.
Even if all my joys were taken away, it would be enough if she were there.
I just couldn't bring myself to think of such a friend as "devoted and wonderful."
On the contrary, much later, I ended up thinking, "In the end, that's just love addiction."


My friend had something she held very dear.
Even if something happens that makes you want to throw your life away, try placing that thing at the center and thinking about it.
Is it worth choosing her even if you lose that?
Was it such a fragile importance that it could be traded for her?


My friend surely didn't want advice.
When she was convinced that "she is everything" and was agonizing over "what should I do so I don't lose her," there was no way she could think calmly.


I'm sure she wanted me to praise the girl she had fallen for so deeply, and I think she wanted me to envy her dramatic romance.
I think she wanted me to offer empathy and comfort to a friend suffering from love, saying, "There, there, it's hard, isn't it?"


I understand well now that unsolicited advice, even if not requested, is of no help to a friend.
Certainly, unfortunately, I don't have any passionate love experiences that would make me want to live or die.


My life is also a series of choices, and I'm sure I will continue to have many worries and doubts in the future.
Especially since I have a strong sense of attachment.
If I can't choose, I just need to defend the standard of "this is the one thing I absolutely cannot yield."
In the end, it became words to admonish myself.

After leaving it for nearly seven months, I finally burned it all.
Did I delete the others myself?
I only had this one and one other piece left.
I know that writing it on no+e doesn't mean it will reach you.
Even so, I hope you are spending your time happily.
I hope from the bottom of my heart that you have a loved one by your side. (12/5)

#Essay #Blog #Column #Prose #Writing #PersonalNotes #Depression #Unemployed #Jobless #LoveAddiction #UnspokenFeelings Day 752