⭐︎Let's Try Raising a Hototogisu 1463

The camel-colored cowhide pumps I bought a long time ago have a square toe and stacked mid-heels.
It's not a color I particularly like, and it's hard to match with the clothes I already own.
Why did I buy them? A momentary lapse in judgment?

To get more use out of the pumps, I bought a camel-colored synthetic leather bag(different from the one in the header image).
Just by having the bag and shoes match in style, I can project a 'stylish me ♡' (or so I feel), and even if my outfit is casual, it looks put-together (or so I feel).
Thanks to that, the pumps got more use.

This bag had stylish handles, and its size, shape, and usability were excellent.
Even when I wasn't wearing the camel pumps, I pushed aside my other bags to keep it in heavy rotation.
I liked it so much and used it so much that it wore out quickly.
Once I got rid of the bag, the opportunities to wear the camel pumps plummeted (since I didn't like them to begin with).

The bag in the header was bought online while I was on leave from my previous job.
It's a three-layer tote bag that is incredibly light despite being made of cowhide (shrunken leather).
If I have a camel-colored bag, can't I give the pumps, which have been looking sad since their synthetic leather partner left them, a chance to shine?
I should just decide, 'I don't like them, so I won't wear them,' but I have this parental instinct that says, 'Since I bought them, I have to take responsibility and make good use of them.'

The reunion between the newly arrived bag and the long-stored pumps.
Huh? Was it this color?
The bag is young, or perhaps shallow, with a yellowish camel hue.
The pumps should have been the same color, but before I knew it, they had turned into a rather nice brownish-tan.
Even while I was complaining about not liking the color or not having enough chances to wear them, the color of the pumps had been maturing.
With the colors being this different, now the bag won't get any use.

In the first place, you shouldn't buy things you don't even like.
Ever since I was old enough to understand, I've always watched my mother's face more than my own feelings, haven't I?
I was always told to 'just say yes' at every turn, wasn't I?
Enduring things became a habit, didn't it?
Because I think I shouldn't waste things, I end up putting my own likes and dislikes on the back burner.
I keep using things out of a sense of duty even if they don't make my heart flutter.

Last month, I happened to read an article about bags.
Looking at the image, the brand is different, and I don't know the size or material, but the design is very similar.
Maybe it's the 'grass is greener' effect, but I thought, 'Oh, that's actually quite nice.'
I'm sorry, my bag, for not using you for years.
So, that's why I pulled out the header bag for the first time in years.

Hmm, it's still not a color I like.
But you know, the pumps grew into a nice color, didn't they?
Why don't I try raising the bag too?
I can't get rid of it anyway.
Maybe I should just use it, take care of it, use it again, and enjoy the changes in color, right?

Fortunately (color preferences aside), the size and shape don't limit my outfits.
If anything, it wouldn't look strange even if I carried it with denim and sneakers.

Alright, I'll use it.
I'll raise it.
Let's do that, let's do that.
By the time the leather becomes soft and supple, it will surely have grown into a beautiful color.
I'm sure I'll grow attached to it, too.
Even if it gets worn out, I'm sure I'll find it hard to let go.
Who knows, though.
2026.4.7. Tue

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#Essay #Blog #Column #Prose #Miscellaneous #PersonalNotes #Depression #Camel #Bag #Pumps #BrownishTan #HeavyRotation #Attachment