💁 The Act of Sending Off ~ 3. Various Perspectives and Expanding Choices 719

Words to describe death

"I've become a member of a funeral home for my mother's funeral."
I am a monster for saying something like this directly to my mother at the group home.
The words I heard at the open house bothered me.
Ometsuburi... I wonder if it's written as "closing one's eyes"?

Death, passing away, end of life, decease, eternal sleep, dying, departing, hiding, vanishing, being called to heaven, imperial demise, becoming a Buddha, going to the other side, ascending to the sky, crossing the river, crossing the rainbow, and then, closing one's eyes.
Other than 'death' and 'passing away,' they don't use the word 'death,' do they?
Is it something to be shunned? Is it impure?
Is that why we purify with salt?
Personally, I don't use purification salt even when I attend a funeral.
Because I don't think death is filthy.
After all, I will die too.
The mortality rate is 100%, you know?

Customs in Thailand

Traditions

There is a tradition that thinking about a funeral while someone is still alive brings misfortune.
Even if the deceased was ill for a long time, no preparations are made while they are alive.
Upon receiving news of a death, one starts by looking for a temple to hold the funeral.
Of course, one does not ask about the deceased's wishes.

Reasons for cremation

In the case of Thai people of Chinese descent, burial is sometimes an option, but it requires financial means.
It is also difficult to secure time for visiting graves, so scattering ashes (cremation) is common.
In Buddhism, it is believed that humans are composed of four elements: water, earth, air, and fire.
Death is returning to the original elements.
Cremation is common in Thailand because the Buddha was cremated.

Reasons for scattering ashes

Death = returning to the original place = the concept of scattering ashes.
In Hinduism, rivers are sacred places.
It is believed that they wash away bad deeds.
Death is death, and one should let go without clinging to the body or remains.
Once someone passes away, they should return to the four elements.

A Thousand Winds - Masafumi Akikawa
"I am not there..."⤵️

Japan

Making pearls

Are you familiar with pearl cultivation?
When a nucleus is transplanted into an Akoya oyster, it is wrapped in multiple layers to form a pearl.
Remains are ground into powder, mixed with clay, rounded, and fired; this is transplanted into the oyster around May to July, and when pulled up around December, a pearl with the remains as the nucleus is created.
Hideki Tanaka of Ash-On Co., Ltd. says, "The entire time from the remains becoming a pearl becomes a memorial service."

Cherry Blossom Burial

A membership-based cemetery that uses cherry blossom trees as grave markers.
The burial location is accurately recorded and can be confirmed with a nameplate or tombstone.
Most are pre-need contracts.
Sociologist Haruyo Inoue of the NPO Ending Center says that nature-oriented approaches, systems that do not assume a successor, and loose communal ties with others are gaining support.

Natural Burial (Scattering of Ashes)

The NPO 'Association for the Freedom of Funeral Services' first performed a public scattering of ashes in 1991 and refers to this as a natural burial.
Since scattering ashes is sometimes mistakenly thought to be illegal, they drafted a Natural Burial Promotion Bill in June 2022 and are aiming for legislation.
As of February 2023, 4,638 people have had natural burials (scattering of ashes) in the sea or mountains through the association.

United States

Jazz Funeral

A traditional New Orleans funeral.
Charbonnet-Labat Funeral Home was founded in 1883 and is the oldest Black-owned funeral home in the United States.
The coffin is moved to a vehicle accompanied by drum and trumpet music, and the procession heads to the cemetery for burial.

Increasing Cremations

In the United States, where Christians are the majority, cremation was long considered a taboo.
This is because it contradicts the teaching that the dead will be resurrected at the Last Judgment.
Cremation rates are rising due to the simplification of funerals, secularization, labor shortages, and costs.
The National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) predicts that the rate will approach 80% by 2040.
Hurricanes and the COVID-19 pandemic are also contributing factors.

Funeral Director YouTuber (Caitlin Doughty)

She runs a funeral home in the U.S. and shares information on her YouTube channel, 'Ask a Mortician'.
'In the past, people died at home, families washed the bodies, and local communities took charge of the funeral.'
'With modernization, professional practitioners appeared, and it became a massive industry.'
'People stopped finding meaning in expensive embalming or elaborate coffins and began choosing simple, low-cost cremation (unlike cremation in Japan, the body is entrusted to a professional, and the ashes are received after the cremation).'
'A "meaningful experience" has been lost from that process.'

'"I want to be buried, I want to be scattered in the sea, I want to become a tree..." A deep desire to connect with nature at the time of death is a common human instinct.'
'Looking at death is confirming that humans are also part of the great cycle of nature.'
'Just because a new funeral method is recognized does not mean it should be forced upon those who do not want it.'

'"What we do in the limited time from the moment of death until the body is gone plays a major role in overcoming grief.'
'It is very meaningful for family and friends to gather, have things to do for their loved one, and carry them out.'
'(Regardless of the funeral method) facing death and engaging with it as a physical experience is important for "all of us who will die someday."'

Thinking about unclaimed remains

The catalyst

When actress Yoko Shimada passed away in 2022, there was no one to claim her body, and she was cremated by the authorities.
Imperial journalist Midori Watanabe died alone at home.
Because she was discovered several days after death and underwent an autopsy as an unnatural death, her wish to donate her body to science could not be fulfilled.
Without family, even filing a death certificate is a struggle; although there was a will, there were many unexpected issues, and it became clear that preparation for the unexpected is necessary.

A good example of administrative efforts (Yokosuka City, Kanagawa Prefecture)

Supporting those living alone by securing a death certificate reporter and providing pre-death contracts for funerals and interments.
There are other municipalities that accept 'end-of-life registrations,' but they are very few.

Necessary preparations

Keeping information such as wishes for life-prolonging treatment, health insurance numbers, and cremation costs in an easy-to-find place.

This book is very interesting
Creating a system to be found before decomposition, even if one dies in isolation ⤵️

Methods of memorialization other than graves

If there is no successor, it is fine to choose means other than a grave.
Options include 'zero-funerals' where remains are disposed of at the crematorium, tree burials, charnel houses, and keeping remains at home.

Everyone's problem

There is no single correct answer.
We have no choice but to talk about it.
Even if you think 'I'm still fine,' that day might come suddenly.

As for me...

I hope for body donation or a 'zero-funeral' (no bone-picking ceremony = no remains left for the bereaved family).
I don't need a posthumous Buddhist name, sutra chanting, a Buddhist altar, a grave, or memorial services.
Spare me the funeral portrait, yeah!!
I have already communicated my wishes and written them in a paper notebook.
I am in a 'mask family' relationship with my daughters and sons, and I won't be able to see it through myself, though.
It is fine if they do what is least burdensome and most satisfying for those left behind.
I don't plan on haunting anyone, so it's fine.
I will talk about how to pass away and my late father on another occasion.

This article was created by referencing, summarizing, and quoting the following, and images were borrowed from the pages.
⚫︎2023/2/19 (Sun) Asahi Shimbun GLOBE No. 273 My Way Home: Forms of 'Funerals'
Reporters Chihiro Ara, Saori Honma, Tadao Onaga
⚫︎2023/12/18 (Mon) Asahi Shimbun Reporter Salon: Learning and Connecting Plaza - When Thinking in a Grave-Closing Society
Reporter Kae Morishita, Asako Mitsuhashi, Naoto Maeda, Ai Asanuma

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