⭐️What's 'Malice'?? 1012

People make mistakes.
Whether they have malice or not.
I do it all the time.


"Mistakes" include things like "being late" or "breaking a promise."


Regardless of whether there is malice, whether it's force majeure or a careless error, if you make a mistake, it's |OMG|!!
If there is another person involved, apologize.
Explain the reason or cause if necessary.
It's not an excuse.
Be humble.


There might be people like H (my ex-husband) out there.
Instead of apologizing, they get defensive, saying, "Well, because..."
They fly into a rage, saying, "I can't help it!!"
I hope there aren't any.


Having malice (ill intent) doesn't make it a "bad mistake," and not having malice doesn't make it a "good mistake."
Unfortunately, it is often the case that having no malice is "worse."
That said, I don't recommend "malice."

"I didn't have any malice, so it's only natural I should be forgiven" is not true.
Saying "It's terrible to be blamed when I had no malice" is completely missing the point.
That sounds just like H.
Even if there is no malice, it is still a mistake.

Misunderstandings and misinterpretations (assumptions) have no malice (ill intent).
Attacking someone while "pretending" to misunderstand is a different issue, because the "pretending" contains "malice (ill intent)."
That's like cosplay of a misunderstanding, or a fake.


Even if a misunderstanding or misinterpretation differs from the facts, for the person who believes it, it is the truth and the default.
No matter how much you struggle to clear up their assumptions, it won't reach them precisely because they have no malice.
Because they are convinced, "I am right, and you are the one who is wrong."

I envy people who can speak their minds freely and without hesitation.
Sometimes irresponsible remarks get mixed in, but I suppose they have no malice.
Even if I envy them, I could never want to emulate them.

If asked if I am a "thinker," I would highly doubt it, but if asked, "Are you sensory? Or emotional?" I am probably neither.
What I am aware of is that I am pedantic, inherited from my late father, and that I worry and think about things forever.

This actually goes quite well with "writing."
That doesn't mean I can "write good things."
I'm not actually writing well.

Worrying and feeling uneasy are easy topics to write about.
It is easy to organize my thoughts while writing.
The time I spend concentrating on writing, even if I am writing about my worries and uneasiness, I am liberated from them.
In a sense, it's a trance state.

The situations of those who read this are varied.
It wouldn't be strange if someone felt uncomfortable, even if I wrote it without malice.
I'm sorry, it's my ego.
But you know, I have no intention of pointing a blade at others.
I am writing for myself.


Even if I am writing to organize my own inner self, there might be people who think, "Is this about me?"
Does that mean it has "universality"?
I'm getting full of myself, aren't I?

By the way, the other day, the supermarket checkout was crowded.
The register next to me looks faster.
But the aisle is too narrow to move.
If the woman in front of me would just move half a step forward, it would be easier to pass.

"Excuse me," "Sorry," no matter how many times I called out, she wouldn't even turn around.
When I called out one last time, she yelled at me loudly.
"I'm in line, too!!"

I know, I know.
I have absolutely no intention of cutting in line.
In the crowded store, you are standing in line while maintaining a subtle space, as if "avoiding the three Cs?"
I was just thinking that if you cleared the aisle you were blocking, I might go line up at the next register.

Did she think, "I'm glad I didn't get cut in line," because I didn't talk back?
Did she go home and tell her family, "Someone tried to cut in line"?
Did the people around us who turned at her loud voice look at me and think, "What a brazen person"?

She had no malice.
She just stated the fact that she was "in line."
She just tried to protect her turn.
The people who turned around had no malice either.
They just looked reflexively because there was a loud voice.
I had no malice either.
Cutting in line didn't even cross my mind.


Surely no one is at fault.
But you know, I was surprised and my feelings shrank.


What on earth is the true nature of malice?
Whether it exists or not, whether intended or not, it can disturb the feelings of others.
I don't want to go out of my way to wrap myself in malice.

Are you trapped by assumptions?
Are you biased against people or events?
Are you trying to judge or condemn someone just to protect yourself?
Even if you put others down, it doesn't increase your own superiority.


Let's be the person we can like.
So that we don't get disgusted with ourselves.
So that we don't end up hating ourselves.
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#Essay #Blog #Column #Prose #MiscellaneousWriting #PersonalNotes #Depression #Unemployed #Jobless #OMG #Malice #IllWill #Mistake #Promise #Misunderstanding #Misinterpretation Day 790