Changing Your Life Through Kindness: Conversation Techniques for Comforting Yourself and Others
The AI Gemini has an image of being good at logical analysis and organizing information. However, I decided to try using it as a "conversation partner" for self-improvement and psychological training. The
secret prompt
• Human-like • Empathetic • Comical • Professional in psychological analysis
I set this time allows the AI to skillfully
draw out the conversation
while providing responses that perfectly align with my emotions.
However, there was a "pitfall" in human relationships that I only noticed after experiencing this "perfect empathy." It is that by being too considerate of the other person's emotions, you
"lose sight of your own true feelings and goals." If you become a yes-man to avoid upsetting the other person and end up unilaterally enduring things yourself, the more you empathize, the more frustration and stress will accumulate within you.
Empathizing with others and sacrificing yourself are completely different things.
The important thing is to accept the other person's likes, dislikes, and current mood while keeping a cool sense of purpose regarding 'what I want to do' and 'what is the best outcome for both of us' as a clear objective. For example, consider the situation of sharing a single cake. Instead of just giving it all away and enduring it by saying, 'You eat it,' it is a relationship where you can say, 'I'll give you the biggest strawberry. In exchange, let me have a bite.'
Satisfying the other person's emotions while ensuring your own comfort. The 'kindness'
that empathizes with emotions and the moderate 'calmness' that does not lose sight of the goal. The balance of subtracting these two is the key to comically brushing off daily friction. Secret Trick:
The technique of '50 percent agreement' that makes human relationships dramatically easier. In dialogue, you do not need to agree 100 percent with the other person's opinion
. In fact, the more a pro at keeping conversation flowing someone is, the more they maintain the conversation with '50 percent agreement.' Instead of aiming for total approval from the start, you just
tweak the nuances of your nods and responses a little.
3 steps you can try starting today
1. First, pick up only the other person's emotions
Acknowledge only the other person's feelings, not the facts, by saying, 'I see, so that's how you felt.'
2. Nod only to the 50 percent you can agree with
Even if you cannot agree with the entire opinion, return pinpoint empathy such as, 'I understand the frustration in that part.'
3. Add your own perspective without breaking your core
Lay out your own goals or opinions without denying the other person by saying, 'On top of that, this is what I think.'
What you can practice in dialogue with AI is not just choosing words of empathy, but 'a sense of distance that allows for comfortable interaction while maintaining your own core'. If you are someone who always tires yourself out by accommodating others too much, please try this
'50 percent empathy that doesn't diminish yourself' in your daily small talk.