Don't fall without picking something up!

I don't want to fail, but a life without failure is impossible.
That said, a life where you do nothing for fear of failure surely wouldn't be interesting either. If that's the case, it might be better to view failure as positively as possible.
Thinking this, I tried to recall events where I was glad I failed.

The moment of failure

In my career as an instructor so far, I have made the mistake of arriving late for a lecture start time exactly once.
Because I was raised in a family that was strict about time, I basically always arrive at least 30 minutes before a lecture starts.
Since it was a job far from home that day, I had planned to arrive at the site earlier than usual, more than an hour ahead of time.
However, a call from the person in charge, filled with anxiety, asking, "Teacher, where are you now?" made me realize I had made a terrible misunderstanding. I remember the Humbert Humbert song I was listening to carefree fading away, and my hands and feet turning cold.
Since it was a job I had been entrusted with for many years, I thought, "This is the end... it can't be helped."

Words that change action

However, at that moment, I encountered an unexpected side of myself.
The question, "As an instructor, how do I want to be?" suddenly came to mind, and the answer was clear.
"I want to be someone who delivers what needs to be conveyed to the students today in a fun and bright atmosphere."
Based on this question, I decided to ask the person in charge to arrange a seating exercise to set the atmosphere of the room before I entered the venue.
While writing the email with trembling hands, I did not blame myself regardless of what outcome awaited, and I continued to calmly think about the next move.

When you stop self-denial

Words blaming myself, such as "Why did I make a mistake?" or "Shouldn't I have checked more thoroughly?" did not arise at all.
Rather, I told myself to enter the venue with the feeling that this flow was completely natural.
When I made up my mind and stepped into the venue, a peaceful atmosphere was drifting, and there were students who responded to my "Good morning" with smiles.
The eight-hour class held that day proceeded in a warm atmosphere, and I was able to deliver the content I wanted to convey, leaving me with a memory of feeling truly relieved.

I don't want to fail, but...

From this experience, I keenly felt the importance of knowing "how I want to be."
Happenings and troubles are part of life, but continuing to blame yourself each time changes nothing.
Rather, I became convinced that the question "How do I want to be?" acts as a compass that calms me down and shows me the path I should take.
I don't want to fail. However, what you gain from failure is significant.
What you pick up when you fall is surprisingly large.