[Adult Fairy Tale] Midsummer Crossroads

That summer, the sunlight was whiter and more intense than ever, and I didn't feel like my old, faded parasol could possibly block it. I gazed blankly outside from my room facing the inner garden.
My body and soul were exhausted. It was because I had lost someone precious. Someone very, very precious, my beloved "Brother." I was so sad that I used poor health as an excuse not to attend the funeral. I never wanted to acknowledge his eternal absence from this point on.

My grandparents on both my father's and mother's sides were still alive, and I had never felt what I felt with my parents in their prime or my hot-blooded older brothers. The end of life. That is why I had never thought about it.
I cannot put into words the sense of loss that was suddenly thrust upon me. The large void that had formed in my heart was cold and empty, yet it weighed on me like lead. Perhaps because I was cooped up in a dark room, it grew day by day, until eventually I was crushed and couldn't breathe, and I fled outside.

But the light outside was not gentle either. It seared my eyes. I opened my floral parasol, which seemed to have faded, and trembled beneath it. The merciless sunlight pierced through the fabric, as if stabbing my skin.

"Your birthday is coming up soon. I'll buy you a new parasol. You should think about what color you'd like."

A voice familiar to my ears pulled at the promise that had made my heart flutter. I bit my lip. A parasol... he hadn't bought it for me. Of course, there were no birthday wishes either. Because that day hadn't even arrived yet. And yet, and yet.

"Liar. ...Brother, you liar."

I no longer felt the heat. The light didn't even reach my blurred vision. Tears flowed as if a dam had broken. There was no way to stop them, and I just cried and cried. I must have had a terrible look on my face. It was fortunate that there were no people passing by.
Eventually, I lifted myself from the gate I had been leaning against and started walking. I desperately wanted to see the blue hedge a little further ahead. The hedge that was beautifully trimmed all the way around the large mansion at the crossroads. This year, too, when the sky was bright and clear and the green had deepened, we walked together.

"If you go left, it's a world bound by time; if you go right, it's a world released from time. What would you do if there were such a path? Which way would you go?"
"Well, that's a strange question. It's the opposite when you look at it from here versus from there. Right is left, and left is right. So, no matter which way you go, both exist. I'll just choose what I want to choose when I want to choose it, that's all."
"...You're selfish. But it's refreshing when your sophistry is this clean."

The conversations we shared came rushing back like ripples. As I moved forward while my memories and reality overlapped and swayed, I saw a figure ahead. A white blouse and a blue skirt. A large basket was hung over her arm. Suddenly, something spilled from that basket.
The moment I saw that, strength returned to my heavy body. More than feeling embarrassed about my tear-swollen face, I thought I had to pick it up, I had to return it. Before I knew it, I was running.
What had fallen was a white flower. A beautiful flower I had never seen before. It must surely be a gift. In this scorching heat, it would wither if I didn't deliver it quickly. I hurried ahead with the flower in my hand and caught up at the crossroads.

"Um, excuse me."

The person who turned around was a stranger. Was she a guest from somewhere far away? Her vibrant blue long skirt reminded me of a beautiful religious painting displayed in the back of an art museum.

"This. You dropped it."

Looking, I saw the basket was full of the same flowers, and I felt relieved that my assumption was correct.

"Oh, thank you. I'm sorry for making you run in this heat."

She smiled at me as I caught my breath.

"No. It's no problem. I'm glad the beautiful flower didn't get scorched by the sun. Still, it's a flower I've never seen before... is it something special?"
"Special... yes, I suppose so, perhaps it is."
"I knew it. Ah, I'm glad I was able to deliver it safely."

She deepened her smile and gently pushed back my hand as I tried to offer the flower.

"Please, you keep that one."
"Eh? Isn't it something precious?"
"Yes, but it's fine. One won't matter. He is not the type of person to blame you for such a thing. Rather, he would likely praise you for doing a good job."
"Oh..."

Not understanding what she meant, I looked alternately at the flower I had been given and her face.

"Please take it as a token of my thanks. The life of that flower is only for today. It will scatter by nightfall. But please, do not look away; witness it until the end."

When I nodded with the flower against my chest, she laughed happily, and there we parted ways. I went left at the crossroads, and she went right.
I hurried back home. I trimmed the stem and placed the flower in cold water, feeling relieved. In the dim room, the single flower in the vase looked as if I had brought the sunlight inside. The petals were firm and glossy, and I couldn't believe it would scatter today of all days. I stared intently at its form.
White. Overlapping white, swaying white. A sweet scent drifted, and memories floated up within the white. That time and that time too, yes, I was wearing a white dress. The beloved time that had passed. Being left behind by the person I loved most struck me again with sharp pain. I cried and cried, and cried again... before I knew it, the moon had risen outside the window.

The room had completely dissolved into the night, and the moonlight lay heavy upon the flowers, making them shine even more brightly than they did during the day. In those flowers in full bloom, there was no shadow of an end. All that existed was an overflowing power of life. Life... My chest tightened. Beautiful, so beautiful—oh, what cruel flowers they were.
At that moment, I felt as if I heard a soft rustle. The next instant, the flowers scattered. It was magnificent, with a force that made the word 'graceful' seem pale, and it happened so quickly I didn't even have time to reach out my hand.
Yet, their stems still stood tall and dignified, beautiful even without anything to clothe them. It was as if they were smiling, saying they had no regrets. I was struck to the core. I see, so that was it. I finally understood.
My 'brother,' who was always smiling no matter what, must have known his own fate. That was why he smiled, saying he had no regrets about today. The promise for my birthday couldn't have been a lie; he must have truly meant it from the bottom of his heart. How spoiled I had been to complain to such a person. I felt ashamed that I hadn't been able to say a single word of farewell, even though I should have sent him off with a smile.

"Please watch over it without looking away."

That was exactly what I needed. Was it all written on my tear-swollen face? Or did he know everything? Even though such a thing should have been impossible, I couldn't help but feel that it was possible. Where, and to whom, had he taken those flowers...?
He had said he grew them in his garden, but if it were a garden where such beautiful flowers bloomed, it should have been famous. I wondered if he was from far away, but under the harsh sunlight, the flowers had all been so vibrant, as if they had just been picked.

With a strange feeling, I looked at the flowers once more, and the moonlight was swaying within the fallen petals. It was a sea of light. The petals looked like waves, or perhaps like ships.
It was a beautiful funeral procession. I watched them go, quietly and alone. Oh, a deep sigh escaped me. It was not disappointment or grief, but joy. Amidst the shining white, I bid farewell to the beautiful time I spent with my 'brother.' Yet, that time would live on forever within me, along with a sweet fragrance. My heart warmed at the thought of how fortunate I was.

"White suits you. Let's go with white after all."

That day, the pure white shirt of my 'brother,' who had smiled and said those words as we parted, billowed in the wind that heralded summer. White covered the world; white was the world. My favorite color, my 'brother's' color. The happiness of being told it suited me must have wrapped around me and never let go. I wouldn't need tears anymore, would I...?

"Mashiro, Mashiro, it's noon. A package has arrived for you, so please wake up."

When I opened my heavy eyelids at the voice from beyond the door, I felt a sense of unease in the room that was slowly coming into focus. I sat up and looked around.
It was gone—the flowers were gone. Not even a petal remained. No, the vase itself was gone. Wondering if someone had tidied it away without me knowing, I hurriedly got dressed and left the room.

However, there was no one to answer my questions. Confused, I accepted the package. At that moment, my heart gave a loud thud. A long, rectangular box. I knew what it was before I even opened it. There was no other shape it could possibly be. Encouraging my trembling fingers, I carefully, so carefully, unwrapped the package.
It was a pure white parasol. I recognized the fabric. What was embroidered all over it was... the flowers I had seen off last night. I couldn't help but hug the parasol to my chest. Even though I thought I wouldn't cry anymore, tears fell, one by one. But I truly felt in my heart that this was the very end.

Opening the new parasol, I lifted my head and went outside. I hurried toward the blue hedge, but there was no one at the crossroads in the middle of the day. But I wouldn't cry anymore.
Should I go right, or should I go left? I chuckled. Either way, both ways. As I wish, as I please, whichever way I like. The answer is surely there. The sun beat down mercilessly again today, but I felt as though I could walk anywhere, searching for white flowers.