On the very day I decided to quit being a fan

Today is the last time I'm going to see this kid's show.

There was a day I went to a live show having decided that.

Seriously.

I had been going to see that group for about half a year.

I spent a decent amount of money, too.

But, thinking about it calmly, I didn't like them that much.

Their performance was, well, not very good.

I liked their look, but only in the sense that I liked them within that group.

At first, they were fresh and cute. That's what I liked.

But, they gradually became cocky.

If I really liked them, maybe I could have seen that as 'a side you only see because we've become close.'

But I didn't like them that much anymore.

So, on the day of an event.

Let's make today the last time.

I decided that.

Of course, I wouldn't tell them.

I didn't want to be one of those fans who says, 'This is the last time, you know,' wanting them to stop me.

It's annoying.

If I see them at a joint gig, I'll go to the bonus event if I feel like it.

That's enough.

That day, too, that kid was in top form.

They gave me attention just like always.

They found me properly.

But.

I had already decided.

Thanks.

Let's make this a good memory.

Even that wasn't enough to shake my resolve.

On the other hand.There is an idol I couldn't quit even though I went thinking, 'I'm going to drop them now.'



Around that time, I was feeling like this kid's stage was getting a bit stale.

It was also a time when I somehow found a new favorite more attractive.

So,

'Should I just go see them one last time?'

With that kind of feeling, I just wandered into the venue.

It had probably been about a week.

I don't think it had even been two weeks.

While watching the stage from the back,

I wonder if this is the last time.

I was thinking things like that.

Moreover, the idol didn't seem to be in very good health that day.

I was a little turned off by that, too.

Of course, it's not their fault they're unwell.

It's not like they're doing it on purpose.

But, they've been sick many times.

After being shown a listless stage for a long time,

'Are they not feeling well again today?'

'If so, maybe I don't have to force myself to go.'

I started to think like that.

It costs money, too.

If that's the case, I want to spend it on other groups that perform energetically.

I feel bad for the other members and the fans.

I was thinking about things like that while watching the stage.

Then.A song I once said,'I like this song'

started playing.

Oh.

Nostalgic.

I was feeling a bit emotional all by myself.

At that moment.The idol makes eye contact with me.



And.

They are desperately sending me attention.

With a smile.

Again and again.As if they were saying,



'I remember!'

'You like this song, right!''You said you liked it, right!'



It was like they were saying that.

I couldn't help but laugh.

That's unfair.

They are cute, as expected.

I felt grateful.

Even if they're not feeling well.

They don't let their mood show on stage.

They do their job properly.

That's the kind of thing I liked about them.

I.

In the end, I decided to take a cheki photo that day and go home.

And then, the bonus event.

The moment I entered the booth.

The idol, while smiling,'Did you have fun today?!'



they said.

Furthermore,'You know, we played that song for the first time in a while today!'



they said.

As expected.

They are good at their job.

'They remembered.'

'I really, really had fun!'We were talking about things like that.

While almost crying.

Then.

The idol, knowing nothing, suddenly lowered their voice.

'On the day of my next solo... you should come... no, I want you to come...'

After a short pause.

'Maybe...'

they said.

They laughed like it was a prank.

While I was frozen.

Furthermore,

'There might be... a song you like?'

they said.

It's over.

I completely lost.

They are really good at sales.

But.

Until now, that kid had never talked to me about their next stage.

Let alone given me any spoilers.

That's why, even more so,

Why did this kid, at this timing...

I thought.

They remembered what I liked.

They even remembered today's song.

They even hinted at what's coming next, which is rare.

If they do that.

I have no choice but to go.

Being a fan.

This kind of thing is scary.

'Today is the last time'

I should have decided that.

On the way home,

Maybe I'll go to the next solo.

No, I have to go.

That's what I had become.

And even now.

I am still going to that kid's shows.

In the end, whether or not you quit being a fan.

It's not about money.

Or the number of times you go.

Or the resolution to 'drop them now.'

Just one piece of attention.

Just one word.

The moment or timing when you think,

'They remembered me,'

might be what turns everything around.

Everyone, too,

an idol you're still seeing even though you decided,

'Let's make today the last time.'You have one, right?