Come back again

For the first time in a while, I attended an aerobics class I used to go to often.

The weather forecast says there will be heavy rain in the evening. I might not be able to go outside during my usual evening class time.

That was the reason I joined, but it was more fun than I expected.

I attended this class every week for three years. I've participated occasionally since then, and I think this is the first time in about half a year.

The choreography isn't as difficult as intermediate aerobics. This class used to be a challenge for me.

The instructor likes people who move with big motions. They often watch those who move expansively and with ease.

I used to be a little bad at that.

Once I learned the choreography, I would suddenly stop moving.

The instructor isn't the role model; the participants become the role models.

I couldn't make any mistakes.

There was that kind of pressure.

Even though I love aerobics, adding the element of being watched makes me a little nervous.

That's why I was always,

"Don't make a mistake."

Thinking only about things like that.

Today, the instructor also said to me,

"The front right side is open."

They called out to me.

But I was in the very back.

Coming back after a long time, I didn't feel like it was right to suddenly go to the front row.

The further forward you stand, the more you are watched.

So, I thought I would be fine in the back today.

That is what I thought.

When the lesson started, it felt good, just as I expected.

Even though it had been a while, my body remembered.

Moving broadly and sweating.

Starting from the back, I, who was at the very end, ended up in the front row.

"You look great with that ease."

I was even told that.

But it was strange.

I didn't feel the pressure I used to.

"What if I make a mistake?"

Instead of that,

"Let's move comfortably."

That is what I was thinking.

Over these past few years, I have started attending various aerobics classes.

There are classes where I challenge myself.

There are classes that end with laughter.

There are classes where I can spin freely.

In the midst of that, I realized I no longer sought to find my place in just one class.

Maybe that's why it felt so easy today.

As I was leaving, the instructor

"Come back again."

said to me.

I'll probably go back.

But next time, I won't try to be a role model.

Just moving comfortably, working up a sweat, and heading home—that's enough.