Reasons why you can't spend money properly (1): Spending on things you don't need to
Moon Planner's note on money has got me thinking a lot about money. There are mainly two problems with money. One is the
problem of not being able to spend money where it needs to be spent and the problem of spending money on things you don't need to. This time, I would like to think about the former.
How much value do I have?
The biggest reason why you can't spend money properly is perhaps because you don't know if you are worth spending money on. Clothes, cosmetics, spa treatments, and hair salons are easy examples. You might think, 'Even if I buy it, it won't suit me,' 'I won't become beautiful,' or 'I don't need to go that far to be beautiful.' When you hesitate to buy something even though you can afford it, I feel that such feelings are often hidden underneath. When you want something vaguely but can't buy it, there is a feeling hidden somewhere that it is not suitable for you.
The second thing you want
In such cases, what we tend to do is buy the second thing we want. Since we hesitate to buy what we really want, we buy the second thing we want and think, '
this is just right for me.' However, because it is not what you really want, instead of feeling excited after shopping, you feel guilty about why you ended up buying it, or you end up regretting it.
Wasting more money through compensatory behavior
Even though you shop because you need something, the shopping doesn't solve the problem. Because the failure in shopping becomes a source of stress and you can't be satisfied even after shopping, you try to buy something else again. The problem is that you can't buy what you really want, but because you think the cause is a failure in shopping, you end up thinking, 'Why am I so bad at shopping?' and keep looking for things you want one after another.
Even though you can only solve it by buying what you really want, you end up wasting more money
.
What is the reason for not buying?
There is often advice in shopping that says, 'If the reason you are buying is the price, don't buy it.' Then, when you are faced with what you really want,
if the reason you are not buying is 'because it is not suitable for me,' then it is something you should actually buy. If the reason for not buying is the function, price, or design, it just means the item is not good, but if you appear in that reason, it is because
you are in a state where you are convincing yourself not to buy it.
Getting used to it little by little
When I was young, I often fell into this trap with beauty. I had the feeling that I wanted to wear these clothes, but I didn't know if they would suit me. Now that I generally know what clothes I like and what suit me, I know where to buy them. After various failures, I settled on this style because it suits me and I wear it often. The reason why Asami Akiya, the author of 'Loving Yourself with a
Set
of Clothes' and the Self-Questioning Fashion, recommends a journey of trying things on is likely to expand your possibilities by seeing various clothes and knowing various clothes. Instead of substituting with cheap things or the second thing you want, I think you can make good purchases by starting from trying things on, getting to know that world little by little, and buying things that you are convinced you can fully utilize the value of
.
Experience over self-affirmation
Gaining confidence through things because you lack self-confidence, or conversely, not being able to buy because you lack confidence, are often treated as problems of the heart. But isn't what is lacking
experience rather than self-affirmation? If you have the confidence that you won't let the things you bought go to waste, you can shop without hesitation. Even if you shop to heal your heart or gain confidence, you will never save money. I want to do my best to be able to make appropriate purchases by gaining experience without spending money all at once.