Staring intently at one's hands

"I work,
I work, yet my life does not become easier,
I stare intently at my hands."

This is a very famous poem from Takuboku Ishikawa's 'A Handful of Sand'.

I think the reason this poem feels strangely vivid even after more than a hundred years is not just the part about 'working but life not getting easier'.

Finally, one looks at one's hands.

This is the good part.

It is not about resenting someone, condemning society, or placing hope in the future. One simply looks at one's own hands. While looking at the hands that were supposed to have been used for working, one checks to see if anything remains that is commensurate with that effort.

In the modern age, what would we look at?

We would probably look at our smartphones.

We check our pay slips on our smartphones. We check our bank balances on our smartphones. We check our credit card bills on our smartphones. Rent is deducted, subscriptions are deducted, and electricity bills are deducted. The results of working and the results of living are all lined up as numbers on a small screen.

'Staring intently at one's hands' has become 'staring intently at one's smartphone'.

However, there is one decisive difference from Takuboku's era.

That smartphone also displays the lives of others.

People who went on trips. People who ate at nice restaurants. People who bought houses. People who got promoted. People who got married. People who had children. People who made money through investments. People who increased their monthly income with side jobs.

Immediately after checking your own balance, you can also check the success of others.

This is quite a cruel device.

Moreover, in the modern age, the options that follow 'I work' have increased.

If your salary is not enough, you should change jobs. You should take on a side job. You should get a qualification. You should invest. You should reskill. You should post content. You could be more efficient using AI.

None of these are wrong.

That is precisely why it is troublesome.

What used to be a story that ended with 'I work but cannot become wealthy' now comes back to you as 'So, what did you do to become wealthy?'

The boundary between social problems and personal responsibility has become terrifyingly blurred.

Just working is not enough.

While working, you must study, build assets, manage your health, build connections, and increase your market value. On your days off, you 'invest in yourself'.

Before we knew it, life itself became management.

We are the president, employee, accountant, and public relations officer of the company that is ourselves.

That is why 'I work, I work' is actually more endless in the modern age.

Even when work is finished, there is still work left to grow oneself.

It is precisely because we live in such an era that the act of 'staring intently at one's hands' feels strangely fresh.

Hands do not display numbers.

Follower counts, annual income, and market value do not appear.

There is simply a part of the body that you have used until today.

Hands that typed on a computer. Hands that gripped a steering wheel. Hands that cooked a meal. Hands that held a child's hand. Hands that helped someone. Hands that failed many times, yet started working again.

There, labor that does not appear on a pay slip remains.

In the modern age, we have become able to check far too many things with numbers.

While it has become convenient, it has also become easier to treat things that cannot be quantified as 'non-existent'.

If the number of views is low, it has not been seen. If you have few followers, you have no influence. If your salary does not go up, you have not grown.

But is that really the case?

Takuboku did not look at his bankbook in the end.

He looked at his hands.

Of course, there was no salvation there. Perhaps it was precisely because there was no salvation that he had no choice but to look at his hands.

Even so, considering that this poem has remained for over a hundred years, the final line 'staring intently at one's hands' seems to contain a human reality that cannot be measured by numbers.

I worked.

Yet it did not become easier.

Was all that time wasted, then?

Before you search for the answer to that, it might be okay to put down your smartphone once in a while.

And stare intently at your own hands.