[The Breastfeeding Hurdle] The Day I Felt Down Comparing Myself to the 'Average'
When my baby was over two and a half months old.
I was still struggling, as breastfeeding just wasn't going well.
During the newborn stage, my daughter was underweight and had a weak suck, so I spent every day pumping every two to three hours and feeding her with a bottle.
Once she passed one month, she was able to drink a little using a nipple shield, but the amount she could drink at once was so small...
In the end, I was managing with both pumping and formula.
Then, around the time she turned two months old.
My daughter started crying and fussing more during feeding times, and a daily struggle of 40 minutes to an hour began every time.
The day I learned about 'average' breastfeeding times
One day, a public health nurse came to visit as part of our local government's baby check-up program.
When I told her that 'breastfeeding takes 40 minutes to an hour,' she was very surprised...
Since she is my first child, I didn't know what the average was and just thought, 'Well, I guess this is how it is for us,' but I was shocked to hear from the nurse that 'it's usually about 15 to 20 minutes.'
Furthermore, hearing that 'some babies love the breast and won't let go' made me feel down, wondering, 'Why is it the exact opposite for us?'
When I compare, I inevitably end up blaming myself, thinking, 'Am I not good enough?' It was really tough back then.
What I saw even then
But as time passed, I realized something.
Comparing doesn't make breastfeeding any easier for me and my daughter.
If anything, comparing was just making me even more exhausted.
Breastfeeding is certainly hard, and there are many moments when I feel like breaking down because she's crying.
But that is also the time my daughter and I are facing together.
Once I realized that, my heart felt just a little bit lighter.
It's okay to go at our own pace
Now, instead of comparing to 'average breastfeeding times,' I try to accept this as 'the rhythm between me and my daughter.'
Even if breastfeeding takes time, or even if she cries, that is just my daughter's personality.
When I see her like that, I can think, 'It's okay, we're doing it our own way.'
There are 'averages' and 'norms' in parenting, but they don't necessarily apply to every parent and baby.
That is why I want to continue to walk forward with my daughter without comparing.
#Parenting #BreastfeedingTroubles #Breastfeeding #FormulaFeeding #Pumping #UnderweightBaby #PostpartumWorries #ParentingRealities #ParentingWithoutComparison #ParentingDiary