Open yourself up, especially when things are tough!

It's COCO🎈

The other day, I wasn't feeling well, so I went to see a doctor.

I thought the punchline would be, "It's caused by stress..." but to my surprise, they said, "Let's run some blood tests."

Honestly, I was quite shaken. They said there were no life-threatening diseases hidden, but even so, I couldn't shake the anxiety.

At that moment, I suddenly remembered some advice I received from my university mentor when my mother was battling cancer.

***

When you're feeling hopelessly anxious and crushed, how should you get through it?

Today, that's what I'd like to talk about.

"Don't bottle it up, let it out"

When I found out my mother had cancer, my university mentor gave me these words as advice on how to get through the life of caring for her.

Ever since I heard those words, I thought,"I won't let myself fall apart while trying to help my mother!"And every time I felt distressed, I poured my feelings out to my family, my boyfriend, and friends who knew the situation.

Unfortunately, my mother didn't survive, but even so, I was able to get through the nearly six months of her battle with cancer safely, even while dealing with my own adjustment disorder.

What I saw when I opened myself up

This time, when I was told I needed a blood test, I almost reflexively (lol) told my father and my partner, 'I was told this! I'm so anxious and scared! What should I do!' (And I'm even writing about it on note... lol).

By disclosing those painful and difficult feelings, I try to think a little about what kind of state I am actually in.

'Anxiety' becomes a third-party enemy.

This might be a slightly academic way of thinking, but...

By conveying my anxious feelings to someone else, I feel like the distance between 'myself' and 'the anxiety' increases just a little bit.

To explain what this sensation is like...

For example, let's say you share your 'health concerns' with your family.

Of course, since it is my own problem, it is certain that I am the most anxious one...

But the moment I share my anxiety with my family, that anxiety is no longer just my own, but becomes the anxiety of the whole family. (After all, if a family member had a health issue... you would feel anxious, right?)

When that happens, I feel a bit of distance from the anxiety that was stuck to me and hard to separate from... and it feels like it becomes a third party that I can face together with my allies, my family.

Sharing the anxiety doesn't make it disappear... but just being able to strongly feel the presence of allies makes my state of mind feel quite different.

Advice starts to feel right for the body.

This is simple, but...

I feel that when I have someone else tell me—as their own opinion—the very same sensible way of thinking that I've been telling myself (for example, when my doctor says, "There is no underlying serious illness"),it makes me feel more convinced.I get the sense that it helps.

There are times, aren't there, when you think, "I know it in my head, but my heart is anxious and running wild (tears)."

At times like that, perhaps listening to someone else's opinion can help you calm down a little.

In the first place, just explaining an anxious situation to someone else can help organize your thoughts and make you feel a bit more settled.

That concludes my thoughts on what happens when you talk things out instead of bottling them up during painful and difficult times.

That said, it's difficult because you can't simply say "venting your anxiety is always good," as there are times when you might vent to too many people without regard for appearances and end up exhausted (self-disclosure takes a fair amount of energy, after all),

or times when it's better to avoid interacting with anyone at all to recharge your mental and physical energy.

It's a tricky situation.

In any case, I would like to conclude by hoping that even one fewer person suffers from feelings of anxiety.

COCO🎈